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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2013-07-09


"No one actually offered me the movie, but while I was working on the Lone Ranger my agent brought it up, and I said, 'Nope.' I mean, come on—it's just mommy porn. I'm not going to sit on top of the laundry machine in spin cycle reading about putting a ball gag in someone's mouth. That doesn't do it for me."—Armie Hammer has nixed the possibility of appearing in a film version of Fifty Shades of Grey. But would it kill him to pose with a ball gag in his mouth?

If there's one thing I love, it's a scandal at the Vatican. The thought of a bunch of hysterical men in dresses running around a basilica screaming in Italian tickles me. Alas, tickling is the least of their problems. Recent claims suggest that there is (or, at least, was) an underage male prostitution ring being run out of the basement of St. Peter's. Shocking—they don't even mention a basement in the Michelin guide! Don Patrizio Poggi, a priest who has been "defrocked"—which I suppose means he no longer wears a dress—served five years in jail for sexually assaulting teenage boys (so take it with ... well, take it any way you want).

He claims that this prostitution ring consisted primarily of Eastern European boys who worked the streets near the train station and who were "starving and desperate." Many of these boys were procured by a former policeman, who would sit in a Fiat until he saw a boy who tickled his fancy. The boys were paid $200-$600 to perform sex acts with various priests ... on church premises! Of course, Cardinal Agostino Vallini claims that Poggi is lying, "motivated perhaps by a spirit of revenge or personal resentment." And to prove that you don't fuck with the Vatican, Poggi was arrested days after his revelation and is being held in jail for "defamation." Authorities claim that "Poggi conceived and put into action a slanderous plan, presenting circumstances that were false." Yeah, right.

Prior to this scandal, the Italian press discovered the existence of a website called Venerabilis, which is basically a gay hook-up site which caters to priests, seminarians, and certain laymen. When in Rome...

Last month, Patti LuPone appeared in a series of concerts at London's Leicester Square Theatre with the multitalented Seth Rudetsky. These concerts were very similar to the format Rudetsky debuted last summer in Provincetown. (You can see the full show at Article Link Here ) What Seth does is interview Patti, then make her sing a song, then chat about something else, then sing another song, and so on. He doesn't tell her the questions or songs in advance, and she doesn't give him (too much) flack. This means each show is unique, and the Brits ate it up. Since Patti originated Fantine in Les Miz, Seth asked her to sing the death scene, "Come To Me," which she hadn't sung in about 200 years. Of course, they needed a Valjean.

Did anyone in the audience know the part? Up jumps a queen named Connor and what transpired was a bit of magic. To top that, Seth got Patti to sing "With One Look" from Sunset Boulevard—the show she did in London and nowhere else. Happily, we've tracked down videos of those two special moments. Normally, we'd shy away from running live LuPone videos—she's a little testy about things like that. But I suspect she won't mind these, particularly since the "Sunset" clip was filmed by her own son! Funny—she didn't yell at him for whipping out a camera, as you'll see on BillyMasters.com.

Meanwhile in New York City, gay pride celebrations were in full swing....with CHER. Since the Dance on the Pier was slated to end at 10 p.m., everyone was making bets what time she'd actually show up. Many people guessed times well past 10 p.m., but I said 9:40 p.m.—and that's exactly when she hit the stage. Whoopi introduced her. Then came the fabulous video montage made by the extraordinarily talented Dan Rucks (AKA Dan-o-rama). And then, Cher finally appeared and belted out "Strong Enough," "Believe" and "Woman's World." Yes, she sang to tracks, but she also sang live. Not only did she use the Teleprompters for the lyrics, she also had the choreography and direction on there—as you'll see in the photos on BillyMasters.com

Here's something I didn't see coming—Jennie Garth and Shannon Doherty going to Vegas together to see Ian Ziering with the world-famous Chippendales! So those of you who think everyone hates Shannon, think again. (I must confess that some of my most fun evenings out have been with Doherty.) Photos of the gals and Ian and the rest of the Chips on BillyMasters.com attest that a good time was had by all.

Our Ask Billy question is from Thomas in New Jersey: "I keep hearing that Lukas Ridgeston is gonna return to porn. Have you heard anything that is for real? What does he look like these days?"

With Bel Ami studios being in a nostalgic mood (such as remaking their classic An American in Prague), Lukas has been toying with the idea of returning to work in front of the camera—particularly since it also coincides with Bel Ami's 20th anniversary. To test the waters and assure himself (and his fans) that he still had it, he had photographer Rick Day take a series of private test shots. Funny thing about them—I got them the day after they were shot. Since I enjoyed them fully (and I do mean fully), I'll share them on BillyMasters.com so you can decide if you'd like to see more. I definitely give him two thumbs up.

When both Lukas Ridgeston and Cher are making comebacks, it's time to end yet another column. Before closing, we'd like to send out congrats on the marriage of John Barrowman and his partner of 20 years, Scott Gill. Actually, this is kinda their second marriage—they had a ceremony back in 2006 when they became civil partners in Wales. This time, John and Scott simply went to the courthouse in Riverside to make their longtime union legal. At least I think it was Scott—the guy in the photo has significantly lighter hair and is sporting bangs. Well, you know us gays—we change our look so often, we're one step away from being in the Witness Protection Program!

Of course, you can stay anonymous when you check out Article Link Here most scandalous site online. If you want me to look into something for you, send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we get photos from the wet brief contests that have been taking place in the Vatican's baptismal font! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


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