Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

VIEWS The aging homosexual
by Carlos T. Mock, M.D.
2016-02-24

This article shared 5235 times since Wed Feb 24, 2016
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Joe B is 68 years old, lives alone and seldom socializes. He's one of the growing number of gay men who survived the AIDS epidemic and lives with survivor's guilt. Joe watched most of his friends die, was active in organizing vigils, marched with ACT UP to get the U.S. government to react to the disease that killed both of his lovers. Joe clearly remembers erasing everyone of his friends from his "little black book" as they died one by one. A full generation lost to HIV/AIDS.

Joe lives comfortably from his savings and retirement—he's one of the lucky ones. LGBT people are of all ages, and the young and the old are particularly economically vulnerable. Among members of same-sex couples in the United States, 7 percent are 65 years of age or older and 28 percent are disabled. Nearly 6 percent of individuals in same-sex couples receive Medicaid or other government assistance for those with low incomes or a disability. Some of Joe's friends are HIV positive and can barely pay for the very expensive medications that are used to keep their virus in check.

I encountered him one Sunday afternoon at Chicago's "Sidetrack Show Tunes." Joe can sing most of the songs and knows most of the lines that the audience has created for the sing along. However, Joe complains that he's become invisible to the LGBT community.

"These kids are all on their phones. They are not even here," Joe told me as he pointed to three very attractive young men who—even though were clearly together—were talking to each other and they were toying with their phones. "If they wish to use Grindr, I'm fine with that. But why bother coming to a bar if all you're going to do is look at your phone?"

I tried to update Joe on Grindr. The app makes use of the device's geolocation, which allows users to locate other men within close proximity. This is accomplished through a user interface that displays a grid of representative pictures of men, arranged from nearest to farthest away. Tapping on a picture will display a brief profile for that user, as well as the option to chat, send pictures, and share one's location. Joe was not impressed.

"All they have to do is look up," Joe said. "They'll see the guy they are flirting with. Besides, there's a new flake in town, and he's popping up everywhere. He's the cute guy that flirts like crazy, but never quite commits to seeing you in person." He pointed toward his new Apple 6S phone and showed me a list of pictures of men he's been "texting" with. Then he added, "I call him 'The Typist' because he'd rather type out vowels and consonants into cyberspace than talk and laugh in real space. The Typist never EVER suggests meeting, even after he tells you how much he wants you."

We paused because the finale to Les Miserables was playing and Joe handed me a red flag so I can join him in the flag-waving.

I had had one too many to drink, so I thanked Joe for a wonderful evening and rushed home.

I woke up next day with a hangover. I consider myself very lucky to be in a sixteen year relationship but I often wonder what would happen to me if I were to become single. Would I date? Could I date? Would I be another Joe?

I just read an article in the Washington Post that said, "Loneliness, long a bane of humanity, is increasingly seen today as a serious public health hazard. Scientists who have identified significant links between loneliness and illness are pursuing the precise biological mechanisms that make it such a menace, digging down to the molecular level and finding that social isolation changes the human genome in profound, long-lasting ways. Not only that, but the potential for damage caused by these genetic changes appears comparable to the injuries to health from smoking and, even worse, from diabetes and obesity. The scientists' conclusion: Loneliness can be a lethal risk. And the United States—which so prizes individuality—is doing far too little to alleviate it."

The primary risk factors for social isolation affect older LGBT adults in unique and disproportionate ways. LGBT elders are more likely to live alone and with thinner support networks. Additionally, the research shows that LGBT elders face higher disability rates, struggle with economic insecurity and higher poverty rates, and many deal with mental health concerns that come from having survived a lifetime of discrimination. Location-related barriers coupled with stigma and discrimination can make it difficult for LGBT older people in many parts of the country to find the LGBT-friendly community support they need to age successfully and avoid social isolation.

Perhaps the older generation's biggest problem is that we did not teach our younger children our history—but that doesn't excuse our community from taking care of the ones who came before us and made a world where same-sex marriage is now the law of the land.

To paraphrase online personality Davey Wavey: "Next time you're in public put down that phone and say hello to an older man. Remember that old creepy man and the people of his generation are literally the only reason you can walk down the street holding your boyfriend's hand and not get attacked—or that you can be at a gay bar in the first place. It is because he fought and bled, buried his friends, marched, rallied and stood up—that the world you live in is better than the one he grew up in. If you think that your fading youthful beauty is God's gift to the world, consider the contributions that man made that paved the way for an entire movement. If you think that old man is creepy, or perhaps he's checking you out—who cares? Every aspect of your stuck up world was built on the sacrifices that old man made. And maybe he's really old; but guess what, that man can't help his age. You on the other hand can help your attitude."

It's time for the young ones to stop worrying about their hair and start caring about our community's future.


This article shared 5235 times since Wed Feb 24, 2016
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

One Roof Chicago launches youth-focused workforce development program
2024-03-14
One Roof Chicago (ORC) is set to launch its first training, education and job placement program for LGBTQ+ young adults in late spring. This Community Health Workers and Elder Care program is a part of ORC's ...


Gay News

VIEWS Mike Johnson: The smiling face of Christian tyranny
2024-02-14
Mike Johnson wants to rewrite the constitution to make the United States a Christian nation. James Michael Johnson, Republican from Louisiana's Fourth District, is the 56th speaker of the United States House of Representatives. He was ...


Gay News

VIEWS Parents, not legislators, should be making decisions about medical options for children
2024-02-06
By Jeffery M. Leving - No matter the medical issue, when it comes to kids, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine said something last December that every lawmaker in the country should realize when it comes to medical decisions for children. "Were House ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ Sundance items, Green Day, 'Wednesday,' Queerties, 'The Wiz'
2024-01-26
At the Sundance Film Festival, Jodie Foster told Variety that the $1.4-billion success of Barbie helps confirm that Hollywood no longer views women directors as too much of a risk. She said, "With a big success ...


Gay News

VIEWS Is the Pope Catholic? Francis faces opposition in steps toward LGBTQ+ inclusivity
2024-01-02
The recent change in Vatican policy allowing priests to bless same-gender couples has provoked an unprecedented backlash against Pope Francis and his openness to LGBTQ+ people—a backlash that some fear might devolve into a schism in ...


Gay News

THEATER 'Dial M' director speaks about stage magic and perils of the closet
2023-12-15
A good thriller is always in style for the right audience—but it's paying dividends for Northlight Theatre, which recently opened Dial M for Murder, helmed by queer director Georgette Verdin, to great reviews. ...


Gay News

Bring Chicago Home: Guess who's saying no again
2023-12-04
Commentary by Bob Palmer and Mark Swartz - Chicago is ushering in an era of change with a new progressive mayor with a vision to invest in communities long ignored and a significant increase in like-minded city council members. We are excited to see ...


Gay News

Pope Francis's community of transwomen
2023-11-28
It's a rare opportunity to meet the pope. It's even rarer if you're a transgender Catholic. However, on Nov. 19, in Torvaianica, Italy, a community of transwomen, many of them sex workers, were welcomed and seated ...


Gay News

Banning the Banning of Books: Illinois and California lead the way
2023-10-26
In June, at the Harold Washington Library in Chicago, Governor JB Pritzker signed legislation banning book bans in Illinois public libraries. This legislation, initiated by Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias, passed the Illinois House and ...


Gay News

OPINION Renewing state's Invest in Kids program is investing in anti-LGBTQ+ hate
2023-10-23
In February 2020, Bishop Thomas Paprocki of the Diocese of Springfield warned transgender students in the Diocese's educational system that they "may be expelled from the school" if they live their lives authentically. Lansing Christian School ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ 'Shucked,' Melissa Etheridge, 'Elite,' composer dies, Orville Peck
2023-10-19
The Broadway production Shucked has set a closing date of Jan. 14, 2024 at the Nederlander Theatre, Playbill noted. At closing, the Tony-nominated musical will have played 28 previews and 327 regular performances. A North American ...


Gay News

Jann Wenner comments on women and Black musicians, later apologizes
2023-09-18
Openly gay Rolling Stone magazine founder Jann Wenner apologized for telling The New York Times that, for his book The Masters, he chose interviews with white male musicians who he called the "philosophers of rock" because ...


Gay News

Chicago Red Stars tie Angel City in front of large crowd
2023-09-18
After staging a second-half comeback, the Chicago Red Stars split points with Angel City FC in a 2-2 draw. Ava Cook and Cheyna Matthews scored goals for Chicago. Cook's second-half goal was the forward's third against ...


Gay News

Aging LGBTQ+ Americans face additional caregiving challenges
2023-09-07
While Darcy Connors was a nursing home administrator in the South, she also operated a COVID-19 recovery center. Connors and her staff noticed that two of the patients in their charge had a strong connection with ...


Gay News

Gilbert Baker Foundation reacts to death of shop owner who flew the rainbow flag
2023-08-29
--From a press release - In response to the murder of Laura Ann Carleton over flying the Rainbow flag in her shop in California, the Gilbert Baker Foundation released the statement below. Facebook refused to post the statement as it did not "...meet their standards." ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.