Hello, everybody.
My name is Mia. You may remember me from the article in our very own Windy City Times entitled "Meeting Kobi." If the answer is "yes," then how have you been? Well, I hope. If the answer is no, allow me to introduce myself. My birth given name is Maikobi Shawn Burks. I was born the second and surviving son of high school sweethearts Jim and Diane. My dad, a Chicago police officer and social worker, and my mom, also a college grad, planned my birth to the letter. I was to be their perfect little man, as my sister was their perfect little woman.
You can imagine Dad's confusion when his only boy identified as a girl. Even before molestation at the age of 8, I can remember having a more "colorful" gender identification. The behavior I exhibited would horrify my very manly Dad. He began doing things that in his mind would discourage my feminine life approach, putting me in push up position, pouring beer down my back, and taunting me at 10 years of age and other cruel tactics. My childhood was dynamic, at the least.
As I grew older I became more gender-aware. Even being raped did nothing to deter my desire to be more gender-appropriate, although at the age of 13 I had no conception of what this would mean.
The cruelty of Dad became more inventive as it started with dumping dog feces in bed with me and handcuffing me to radiators, then beating me with extension cords. My mother and my sister would stand by, unwilling or unable to assist me. I'm not blaming anybody for my inexcusable behavior the night of Sept. 26, 1993, when, with my father's service revolver, I took the lives of Mom, Dad and Tiffany. Every day I reflect on their deaths, as the pain of it all sometimes becomes unbearable.
My life has taught me that it is, however, not the sum of our past deeds that defines us; it is, rather, the power of our present decisions. I now know ( after years of trial and error therapy ) I must accept first who I am, then must help others.
I reside in the department of human services as a NGRI ( not guilty by reason of insanity ) patient. I have resided in department of human services ( DHS ) for almost 21 years, mostly due to my self-deprecating behaviors that have defeated my progress. Recently I made a decision to face myself—my true self—and make some choices, one of them being finally pursuing reassignment surgery. I am fortunate that the Illinois Department of Human Services puts my wholeness first and is willing to assist me. I write this to introduce my blog, where I intend to share the inner workings of pursuing my reassignment while in DHS custody. I want to also share my breakthroughs, struggles, and achievements in my new life. I have hopes that my experiences will be helpful to others, either making their transitions despite roadblocks or even living in a way that is not conducive to wholeness.
Please visit my blog at kobi-callmemia.blogspot.com and even feel free to comment. I hope to hear from you soon. I really feel as if we are all here to help each other after we first face ourselves.
Much love, Mia.
P.S. Thank you Lowell, and Judy S., and Fay. Much thanks to Cindy, Bill, Rick, Loyde, Melenie, Jimmi, Mike and Roger. Thank you all for making one of my lower points a place of growth.
Curt, thank you for your prayers. Dr. R. and my Brenda, I appreciate you both, not to mention Tonya. Finally, Angie, thank you for your love and support and Tom, there are no words for my love for you.
One excellent resource that I've recently come across is Suddenly Fem ( www.crossdresser.com ) . This company provides clothing and accessories for the transgender community and has been very supportive in the early stages of my transition.
Thank you to all of DHS and their much appreciated support.
