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The Last Days of George W. Bush: A Tale of Family Values
Part 34
by Krandall Kraus
2007-07-04

This article shared 2997 times since Wed Jul 4, 2007
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This 44-part series began running in WCT Nov. 8. Readers can read all the installments to date at www.windycitymediagroup.com

From the journal of John 'Jack' Quincy Adams, Chief Secret Service Special Agent in Charge, The White House. Code Name: One.

Part 34. Monkey Wrenches

Jack Adams, the Secret Service agent charged with assassinating President George W. Bush and being held for psychiatric evaluation, is telling about the monkey wrench that was thrown into his plan to kill the president right after the First Couple had a fight.

'She still pissed?' he asked as I entered.

'Well, let's just say that maybe you should stay down here to read that file. I'm sure she'll be all right in a little while.'

'Think the coast is clear to get a Dr. Pepper?'

We made our way down the stairs, with the back-up agent tailing along. In the Mess, Trailblazer went to the soda machine and got himself a large glass, filled it with ice and placed it under the Dr. Pepper nozzle.

'So, One, how'd you like to spend a few days at the ranch in Crawford? I know it's not exactly a vacation, but it'd be a change of pace. You could even chop wood if you want.' He bugged his eyes wide like he had just cursed in church and said, 'Just kidding.'

The first thing that leapt to mind about Crawford was that security at the ranch is mostly peripheral, and I had a room in the house, not off premises. This opened up new possibilities if I decided to go through with Project Intervention, my personal code name for eliminating Trailblazer.

I thought I should take a reading from Laura, which I did the following morning when I found her alone in her office around 6:15 a.m.

'Good morning,' I said.

She nodded and proceeded to use her letter opener on an envelope she was holding.

'I wanted to run something by you,' I said. 'The president has asked me if I want to come to the ranch for a few days, which I assume means….'

'He's trying to humor me. Patronizing me, is what it really is. He's going to try to 'reason' with me about the stump trip and he thinks I'll be more receptive at the ranch.' She stared at me blankly. All the life had been drained out of her. She seemed tired, deflated.

'Oh,' I said. 'The calendar says he has engagements here and in New York, so I was surprised when….'

'I told him I was going home and suddenly he announces he's coming with me, that a few days at the ranch would do us some good. What he really means is that a few days at the ranch might put me in a better mood and I'll give in about the whirlwind tour.'

'I'm sorry you're upset,' I said.

'I'm not upset,' she said in a monotone. 'I'm weary. He can do what he wants. I'm going to Crawford and rearrange the bookshelves in the study. They're in desperate need of categorizing, something I haven't had the time to do since we began staying here.'

'Well, I thought I should ask you if you mind if I'm there.'

'Do what you want, Jack. If you want a change of scene, come to Crawford. If you want a real vacation, stay here. I assure you Crawford won't be a rest cure. But then that's something you know as well as I.'

'Yes, I guess I do.'

'Now, if that's all and you don't mind, I need to sort through this God-awful pile of crap.' I excused myself and returned to my station near the elevator and waited for Trailblazer to come down.

Something was definitely rotten in Camelot. There was no need for her to make a political circuit. True, she was more popular than he, but the way I saw it the people who were against the MPA weren't going to change their minds because Laura Bush came to their town and gave a canned speech. She might be able to change minds in favor of Condi being approved for vice president, but that was going to the floor of the Senate in ten days, before her proposed trip even started.

Trailblazer knew how opposed she was to making these kinds of trips, so why would he push her? It smelled more like the RNC or Rover than Trailblazer. It was beyond me what they were up to, but they were up to something, that much was certain. I had worked around these people long enough to smell the shit on the shoes before I saw it on the rug.

Meanwhile, I had to lay a plan for Project Intervention. If I made the decision to go through with it. It seemed straight forward enough: Dr. Pepper late at night, blowfish toxin in glass, wait thirty to ninety seconds. The only difference now was that it might be at the ranch instead of here. Which meant we were back to bottles of Dr. Pepper.

Krandall Kraus has published six books, including the Lambda Literary Award winner It's Never About What It's About, co-authored with his partner, Paul Borja.

Krandall Kraus has published six books, including the Lambda Literary Award winner It's Never About What It's About, co-authored with his partner, Paul Borja. He is the recipient of the 2006 Christopher Isherwood Fellowship in Fiction; his first novel, The President's Son, was a bestseller. A former consultant to the Office of the Vice President, his political thrillers are filled with White House insider details.


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