Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2019-05-22
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

Sponsor
Sponsor

  BLACKLINES

Purrfectly Speaking
by Anita Charlot
2003-08-01

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Heyyy … you're back. So how has the month been for you? It has been a continual learning experience for me. Now where were we? Oh that's right, we were talking about dating. As always, I have more questions for you. Have you ever noticed that while you are going through one of Earth School's classes, you find yourself reviewing your old material? Those flash backs of the past that happen to creep up when you least expect them? Have you ever looked over your notes to find or realize that you played more of a part in the situations within that previous class than you realized?

Well, I have and some of what I realized about myself was not pleasant. However, I am so thankful to the Universe for sharing these things with me as it gives me true insight to who I am in and out of a relationship and it affords me the opportunity to make some adjustments to prepare me for the next one. Oh, don't think that I am not looking forward to the next one, but there is a catch … a twist if you will. I am LOOKING FORWARD to the next relationship but not actively LOOKING FOR IT! This is where I think a lot of us make our mistakes.

I am not going to give you a timeline as to the amount of time that you should give between relationships that will be different for everyone. However, from experience, I know that getting out of one relationship and starting another soon after is a disaster waiting to happen. If you are the type of person that would like to really assess what happened in the previous relationship so as not to make the same mistakes again, then you will need time. Time to grieve, time to reflect, time to understand and also time to go toe-to-toe with those internal monkeys that have been sitting on your shoulder throughout your previous relationships.

If there is a pattern, if your ex's have all been singing the same song, then face it … you have the monkeys. If you are tired of hearing that same song … sit down and try to recall the words. Were they valid? Where does the basis for this behavior come from? These are the things you should be focusing on instead of who to 'hook up with' next.

Understand that I am not stating that you should become a hermit either; however, make a commitment to yourself to learn who you are, what you like and don't like and everything in between. In the interim, there is nothing wrong with meeting new people or dating, just do it with the understanding that every dating situation will not be a potential relationship. Date several different people. Refer to your list of Must Haves, Can Compromise Ons, and Hell Naws, if you don't have one … MAKE ONE! Make additions and deletions as you see fit until you come up with something that you can truly work with. While at the same time … working on yourself. Take a moment to think about the caliber of person that you would like to have in your life, get up, stand in front of a mirror, look yourself straight in the eye and ask this question … 'If I were 'X' type of person … would I date me?' Then think about the things that you would have to work on to make you appealing to that type of person.

I have to share this with you … it embarrassed me so much, I couldn't wait to tell you. I was at the Park West for the Lipstick and Lace/Pat and Vera party. I had been standing around like a DIVA enjoying the views … nice views … nice views (I'm sorry … I digress) and I was approached from behind and asked a question. First of all, not being out on the market for years, I didn't have a quick comeback and was caught off guard. The question was, Where Is Your Partner? As I didn't feel like explaining where I am in my life, I immediately answered 'Out there on the dance floor.' She then says to me ... 'I've seen you standing by yourself all night' then she walked away. DAMN!!!! Busted. All I could do was chuckle. I was clearly unprepared for that one. Oh well, that's what happens when you try to tell a lie. It was funny as hell though.

See you next month. Until then … know your worth!

www.purrfectharmonyinc.com


facebook twitter google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

British activist talks political endeavors, U.S. speaking tour 2018-06-27 - The ascension of the Conservative ( Tory ) Thatcher government in the 1980s and the birth of what is now known as neoliberalism ...


Gay News

Alphawood Exhibitions Announces Ai Weiwei's Trace Midwest Premier, Speaking Date 2018-04-24 - ( CHICAGO, IL — April 9, 2018 )—"Ai Weiwei: Trace in Chicago," an exhibition of one of the renowned Chinese artist's most significant ...


Gay News

Video shows parents of trans kids speaking out 2016-05-04 - In response to continued attacks on trans people across the nation, recently nationalized by failed Presidential candidate Ted Cruz, the Trans United Fund ...


Gay News

FRANKLY SPEAKING What's hot and what's not: Wedding trends for 2016 2016-02-10 - As a wedding consultant, every wedding that I design and coordinate is totally inspired by that couple's style, so the details are completely ...


Gay News

Frankly Speaking ...Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2015-02-19 - The first thing most newly engaged couples ask is "where do I start?" My advice is to first decide on two key elements: ...


Gay News

Frankly speaking...Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2014-08-06 - Everything's coming up roses—orchids, calla lilies and hydrangeas, too! Flowers are a huge part of any wedding. You can spend a little, ...


Gay News

Frankly speaking: Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2014-04-16 - Requesting the honor of your presence: All about the paper Once you have all of the major choices for your wedding selected ...


Gay News

VIEWS Speaking out for Quinn's support of women, children 2014-03-07 - With all due respect to the Governors of California and New York, Pat Quinn is the greatest champion of women and children of ...


Gay News

Frankly speaking: Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2014-02-05 - The first thing most newly engaged couples ask is "Where do I start?" My advice is to first decide on two key elements: ...


Gay News

Rasheeda Speaking 2014-01-29 - Playwright: Joel Drake Johnson. At: Rivendell Theatre Ensemble, 5779 N. Ridge Ave. Tickets: 773-334-7728; www.rivendelltheatre.org; $30 . Runs through: Feb. 15 Some ...


 



Copyright © 2019 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor


 



About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.