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Purrfectly Speaking
by Anita Charlot

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Happy New Year, let's start the New Year out with new beginnings; new commitments to self, self-love and understanding. Let's let go of what didn't work in 2003 and make it our business to figure it out in 2004. As always, I have more questions for you. Do you really know you? I'd like to borrow a phrase from a mentor of mine … Do you know who 'I' is? Do you really know you? Who are you? What makes you happy/sad? Why do you always react to particular situations in the same way?

A few of you have asked me what have I been up to in terms of writing lately. Well, I have been working on 'THE' book about dating. This particular book will talk about my philosophy regarding different phases, five to be exact, of the dating ritual and what one should expect and offer during those different phases. It is definitely a book geared toward elevating the individual first and my thoughts and ideas on how not to lose sight of reality and you as an individual while trying to cultivate a relationship.

As a class of people living alternative lifestyles (I wanted to be sure to include ALL of our community in this comment), we have a lot of the same issues as a heterosexual couple when dating, but being as unique as we are, we also encompass our own set as well. Therefore, I will gear the book towards the dating situations in general, then specifically address those things that are unique to us. As I focus more and more on bringing the chapters together for this book, I realize how many of us are running on faulty programming and how wonderful it would be to open the eyes of at least one person with what I have learned so that our spirits can be opened to loving ourselves and others. I hope this book will do just that.

Some people live their lives trying to figure out what their purpose here is … I am fortunate enough to be in touch with mine. I continue to move and shake, aligning myself with those people, events and situations that understand what it is I am trying to do here … in this lifetime, as well as doing those things that will afford me the opportunity to do what feeds my spirit every day without having to punch someone else's clock. What might that be? It is spending my time in one-on-one coaching, workshops, books, and radio interviews, sharing what I have learned and continue to learn in my quest for the truth. Not the truth according to society, but as it relates to me and my spirit.

I have never done this before … but it is weighing heavily on me right now. I would like to leave you with this affirmation for the New Year. I will say it in the first person and you may recite it aloud or silently making changes and adjustments where you see fit.

Here goes …

In 2004 I will no longer hold onto those things, people, situations or jobs that are not conducive to me living the quality of life that I need, want or deserve. I will love and accept all parts of me, whether good, not so good, or indifferent, because I know that the only way to be open to loving someone else is to truly learn how and practice completely loving myself. I will be honest when asked what it is that I want and I will not accept anything less as a result of others not being able to be the person that I need them to be … in my life. I will relish in the fact that at no time have I ever been separated from the love of my higher power, even when I did not acknowledge it … it remained constant. Even when I am ignoring it … it is still there. This year, I promise to get closer to that supreme being, open my heart, let it in and recognize its hand in my life. I will do this because I am deserving of love, I am worthy and I am worth it.

For those of you who might be offended by me taking on a more spiritual voice in this issue … I apologize, but I have learned to do what spirit leads me to do and I was led to share this with the BLACKlines' community. Someone out there who has not found the courage to reach out for guidance or has not been able to find the words to speak to their heart, needed to hear it.

And I am always willing to share.

Until next month … .

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