Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2020-09-16
About WCMG Publications News  Entertainment Features Donate Bars & Clubs Calendar Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage



Purrfectly Speaking
by Anita Charlot

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Here I am … I apologize for my absence. Apparently, there were a few lessons that the Universe deemed important enough for me to give my full attention to. I have learned through experience not to ask why, but instead … why not?!?!?

I'd like to share with you where my heart and spirit have been over the past several months regarding the subject matter of my writings. As you very well know, my columns often center on personal growth while sharing my spirit and my life with you. This has been my practice over the past six years and it will continue. First, I'd like to thank you for your patience and for your e-mails concerning the missing articles. You have no idea how beneficial they were in the lifting me out of my writers' block as well as my decision to continue to write for you.

So what has been going on in my life? Well let's see, there's growth, awareness, understanding, the life-altering assessment of turning 40, etc. I've decided that this year's writings would focus on someone that we often tend to overlook … the lost child within. It has come to my attention that we often go through life unknowingly being guided by the lost child that is within us.

All too often we make decisions about life, our various connections to others, jobs, choice of cars, etc., based on the lost child within in attempts to soothe our wounded souls. We react to people and situations with the temper tantrums of children while swearing the entire time that we are mature adults. Is it intentional? I would have to say no. Is it wrong? Again, no, it's not. It is just something that we continue to do until we become aware that there is a lost child within and identify the role that they have played in our lives.

So how does one find out if there is a lost child within? Here's a suggestion: The next time you have a negative reaction to words or actions, take a moment to determine where it's coming from. Does the situation warrant such a strong reaction? Are your feelings based on this incident or do they bring back feelings from a time in your childhood?

As a child, when things happened to us that we were not fully able to manage, we created defense tactics. We created ways in which we could protect ourselves from experiencing that hurt. Some of these defense mechanisms include: a very sarcastic demeanor—I'll cut you with words before you can cut me; a victim mentality—I knew you would do this/that … because this always happens to me; and placing a barrier over your heart—I'll only let you in so far so I do not become vulnerable.

These defense mechanisms served us well as little children; however, as adults they inhibit us from experiencing and living life to the fullest by not being completely in touch with our truth. We know we have 'issues' but dare not face them. As a result, these defense mechanisms serve as barriers to true intimacy with ourselves and others. They protect us from the very thing we need to connect with if what we want is to live a life based in spirituality … our own spirit. Trust me when I tell you that it is not an easy thing to do. Facing your truth, acknowledging it and becoming different is a task that only a FOOL would undertake. And I have knowingly become that fool.

I told the Universe that I was ready to see my truth and then live from that truth; that I was ready to embark upon the true destiny of my life and that I was willing to go through whatever tests, muddy waters and transformations I needed to. As you've read from me before, that was like stating to my God, 'Hey, I think I want you to test me like you did Job; apparently I haven't experienced enough trials in my 40 years! Hit me with your best shot!'

During the reconstruction period, I experienced a loss of energy; lost 10 pounds; suffered migraines and sleepless nights; and had to face demons of my own as well as those around me … but you know what? I'm more in touch with my spirit than I ever have been. Just when I thought I knew myself, I discover more. And believe me when I tell you there are parts of me that I wish I could have left hiding under a rock. LOL!

Then there is that side of me—the girl inside of me—that I have now come to know, acknowledge, honor and protect as though she was one of my very own children. I now know that it is only through healing her and developing a true and honest relationship with her that I can be completely whole. If and when you are ready, take a good look at yourself. Can you identify a lost child within your spirit? What would it take for you to nurture her into wholeness? What would you have to change?

Until next month …

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


Gay News

British activist talks political endeavors, U.S. speaking tour 2018-06-27 - The ascension of the Conservative ( Tory ) Thatcher government in the 1980s and the birth of what is now known as neoliberalism ...

Gay News

Alphawood Exhibitions Announces Ai Weiwei's Trace Midwest Premier, Speaking Date 2018-04-24 - ( CHICAGO, IL — April 9, 2018 )—"Ai Weiwei: Trace in Chicago," an exhibition of one of the renowned Chinese artist's most significant ...

Gay News

Video shows parents of trans kids speaking out 2016-05-04 - In response to continued attacks on trans people across the nation, recently nationalized by failed Presidential candidate Ted Cruz, the Trans United Fund ...

Gay News

FRANKLY SPEAKING What's hot and what's not: Wedding trends for 2016 2016-02-10 - As a wedding consultant, every wedding that I design and coordinate is totally inspired by that couple's style, so the details are completely ...

Gay News

Frankly Speaking ...Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2015-02-19 - The first thing most newly engaged couples ask is "where do I start?" My advice is to first decide on two key elements: ...

Gay News

Frankly speaking...Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2014-08-06 - Everything's coming up roses—orchids, calla lilies and hydrangeas, too! Flowers are a huge part of any wedding. You can spend a little, ...

Gay News

Frankly speaking: Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2014-04-16 - Requesting the honor of your presence: All about the paper Once you have all of the major choices for your wedding selected ...

Gay News

VIEWS Speaking out for Quinn's support of women, children 2014-03-07 - With all due respect to the Governors of California and New York, Pat Quinn is the greatest champion of women and children of ...

Gay News

Frankly speaking: Expert tips to plan your wedding expertly 2014-02-05 - The first thing most newly engaged couples ask is "Where do I start?" My advice is to first decide on two key elements: ...

Gay News

Rasheeda Speaking 2014-01-29 - Playwright: Joel Drake Johnson. At: Rivendell Theatre Ensemble, 5779 N. Ridge Ave. Tickets: 773-334-7728;; $30 . Runs through: Feb. 15 Some ...


Copyright © 2020 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.







About WCMG Publications News  Entertainment Features Donate Bars & Clubs Calendar Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.