In the words of Audrey Hepburn, "Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I'm possible."
This is a motto I naturally felt when I began working with Teen Living Programs and once I moved into Belfort House. Before that, I felt as if the more I did, the less recognition I received. And even worse, the more I expressed myself, the more disapproval I got from those I expected to love, care, and support me.
I had experienced homelessness as early as 14 years old, however from 2011 up until I learned about Teen Living Programs in 2013, was the longest period and by far the most traumatic. After the passing of my father when I was 16, I battled with depression and figuring out my sexuality, as well mental, verbal and sometimes even physical abuse I endured in the home. I spent months couch surfing between my uncle's house and whoever at least tolerated me. After a serious altercation with my mother, my uncle agreed to let me stay with him, but after only two weeks I was asked to leave after a disagreement.
I was forced to go back to my mother's house and I decided to stick it out because by this time I was 6 months away from graduating and leaving for college. After almost dropping out my sophomore year, I redeemed myself and wanted to put all my energy into finishing up my senior year in high school and leaving to go to my dream school Southern Illinois University in Carbondale where I had been accepted—among six other universities that also accepted me. I needed to make a difference in my life, because no one else did.
However my dreams and all my hard work were crushed when I found myself alone and helpless and not able to move to college. I got kicked out again, this time for good after coming out to my mother. Coming out to her was the hardest and scariest thing I ever did in my life. I felt as if I paid for it by having to live on the streets and this was my mental state for a long time. I hated the fact that I was gay, and what I hated the most was that I loved the person that hated me and the biggest part of who I was.
This was the lowest my life had been—my father was gone, I had nothing to my name, my dreams of leaving for school were dead, and on top of that I was now on the streets because everybody that I needed and looked for love from had turned their backs on me, and I was still battling with depression. But then, I found the number to TLP's hotline one day when I was at the library. After about two months when I finally got regular access to a phone, I made an appointment and got on the waiting list for Belfort House. I began meeting with my case worker twice a month where I received whatever it was I needed, including counseling and genuine care, and it scared me because I wasn't used to it at all, but eventually I did get used to it.
And by the time I moved into Belfort House last fall I was employed with a steady income and in school pursuing my degree. And now after only nine months, I am a Peer Educator for TLP's Street and Community Outreach team, spokesperson of Belfort's youth council executive board and pursuing a degree in Culinary Arts. I plan to use my passion for cooking to help homeless or at-risk youth by creating an organization that allows kids to express themselves through cooking and food therapy.
But the biggest thing that I realized is that the obstacles that I faced were the building blocks of who I really was, who really cared for me and was supportive of me. I also learned how to love myself and to figure out what it was about myself that I loved, and that's everything—everything that Shawne with an E is all about. For the first time in my life I am content with myself, I am happy and I am stable and I thank Teen Living Programs, and all of you, for that. Thank you.
Shawne Au'breyy Hinkle is 20 years old and an active youth face of Teen Living Programs. Shawne was without stable housing since the age of 14 until finding TLP at age 19. Now after nearly a year, Shawne is a peer educator for TLP's Street and Community outreach team, youth member of TLP's Celebration Committee and a spokesperson/advisor of Belfort House's Youth Council.
