Before dancing onto the Chicago LGBT scene as Robbie Phoenix, the real-life Robert Fraga vaulted to college success in track & field. He was a record-setting athlete, who still holds a school record. Openly gay in college, Fraga shared his story for the first time with Ross Forman of the Windy City Times.
Robert Fraga still stands in the Concordia University record-book, thanks to his indoor pole vault performance four years ago at the annual conference meet of the Northern Athletics Collegiate Conference, a group of 12 private NCAA Division III colleges and universities from Illinois and Wisconsin.
Fraga—then a freshman at Concordia, based in suburban River Forest—vaulted himself 13-feet, 9-inches to become the indoor conference champion and, in the process, claim the indoor conference record, not just the Concordia mark.
That was Fraga's personal best at that time—and he has continued to soar high, just not in sports anymore.
Fraga, about halfway through that record-setting freshman season at Concordia, came out as gay. Some of his teammates were shocked and kind of distant to him after they learned. But, by the end of the season, which ultimately was his only at Concordia before transferring to College of DuPage, "everyone except my workout partner came around," and was accepting of his sexual orientation, Fraga said.
"My workout partner in college for track was a little taken back [when he learned I was gay]. That was the only relationship that I can say I lost. We used to go everywhere together and trained together; I wish I would have handled that [coming-out] differently, or told him sooner."
Otherwise, Fraga has been fully accepted for his orientation—and he's also encouraged other family members to come out, "and it's a good feeling realizing that they [have] the courage because I took the step to come out."
A multi-sport athlete in high school in Texas, Fraga moved to Illinois for college. He played soccer and was a member of the track & field team at Midway High School in Waco—and even got to participate in the prestigious Texas Relays, where he also saw the U.S. Track & Field team compete, which he said was surreal.
"You see them [compete] at the Olympics, and [at the Texas Relays] they were literally five feet away from me," Fraga said. "It was a meet that you had to qualify for, so being chosen to compete was an honor. Going with a select group of athletes from our school was awesome and staying in the hotels with all the other athletes was so much fun."
Fraga came out to everyone as a college freshman, though he started the process as a high school senior. "It took me a while to kind of figure things out and to truly accept it," he said. "It was harder and more [of] a struggle to come to terms with it considering Texas is a very conservative state. I went through a stage where I considered myself bisexual, but no one knew. People in [high] school would ask and always wonder, but I never really admitted it in high school. For most people, it was a don't-ask-don't-tell situation. But once I graduated and moved to Chicago for school it was truly a finding-myself experience.
"I met a guy who I really liked and could see myself being in a relationship with, so I guess it just took off from there. I called my mom to talk to her about it and she was very accepting. I decided to wait to talk to my dad about it when I went home for break. Then I started the process to tell my friends."
Then he changed his relationship-status on Facebook, "which in a sense just eliminated me having to tell everyone individually," Fraga said. "However, the important people in my life I made sure to have a conversation with, [such as], my mother, my best friend, my sister, my dad, my step mom, and my grandparents.
"When I went home to talk with my dad, I was relieved by his [reply, which was] 'If that's the lifestyle that makes you happy, then good for you. You're my son and I love you no matter what; I just want you to be happy and safe.'
"That was the [same] reaction I received from pretty much all of my family."
As for his high school teammates, who learned of his sexual orientation while he was in college, Fraga said they were, believe it or not, upset that he didn't tell them in high school—because they did not care, "and they just wanted me to be myself around them," he said.
Fraga said his sexual orientation was never talked about much at Concordia, a Lutheran school in the suburbs, outside of his track & field team. But, "there definitely [were] whispers and looks," though not often, he said.
Fraga spent parts of two years at College of DuPage, as a cheerleader, but his academic path was sidelined in January, 2012, when he was in a car accident and fractured his back and tore multiple ligaments in his right knee. He moved back to Texas for six months to recover and be with family.
"I plan on going back [to college]; it's just a matter of working out all the details and figure out all the pieces. My college experience was amazing," Fraga said. "My parents wanted me to go somewhere closer to home, but when I came to visit Chicago to visit Concordia I fell in love with the city and never looked back. All my family is in Texas, so moving here not knowing anyone and having to financially support myself made me grow up a little faster. When I went to College Of DuPage, I had a blast. The bond between the [cheerleading] team was amazing. Some of the best friends [on the cheer team], I will keep for a lifetime.
"My grades were good. I had 3.35 [GPA] when I left. Sports was kind of the motivator to get good grades."
Fraga also while in high school was driven by one of the most challenging sporting events out there. He was trained for the decathlon.
"We didn't have the decathlon in high school meets, but each athlete was [allowed] a maximum of five events to participate in—and I always did five. My coaches in high school said [decathlon] would be a good fit for me and that it would position me well for interest from colleges.
"In college [decathlon training] took a lot of hours. Not only was I working out during practice, but also on those days we didn't have practice. Or I'd have to work out in the morning and another work out [session] in the evening. Each day I did all my running training, and the different field events throughout the week. My favorite was definitely pole vault. I had about five different poles and they each were customized with different colored tape—purple, yellow, black, blue, and rainbow.
"If they didn't know I was gay before, they had the hunch," after seeing the rainbow pole, he said, laughing.
Under Chicago's Rainbow
Now 23, Fraga lives in Chicago's Uptown neighborhood. He's known to many as Robbie, or his stage-name, Robbie Phoenix. A retail sales associate for T-Mobile, he also is a local go-go dancer.
He's been dancing since he was 21.
"I always loved to dance," said Fraga, who first learned to dance to Latin music. "My mother was the one who taught me how to dance, and then it just took on a mind of its own. I used to dance [several days per week, but] wow I dance maybe once or twice a month."
He also helps teach a workout class at World Gym in Uptown, mixing hip hop with fast movements for a sculpted torso.
"Dancing for me is such a relief; [it helps me] get in my own little world," Fraga said. "I've danced at Circuit, Hydrate, Mini Bar, and the old Cocktail, plus. Talbott Street Nightclub in Indianapolis and LaCage Niteclub in Milwaukee, and more."
Ironically, Fraga admitted he was nervous, or at least hesitant, to dance for the first time at a bar. "But I talked with my mom about it, and she was all for it," he said.
And working in nothing more than underwear, and a pair of high-top shoes, is a bonus, he said. "If I could, I would wear underwear only every day. I think underwear fashion is great; I have spent way too much money on underwear. I have an entire closet for my dance stuff. Underwear, hats, high tops, arm bands, all the accessories."
Fraga said the biggest tip he's ever received while dancing was a $100 bill during Latino Pride at the Green Dolphin. The most one person has given him on stage in one night is $250, while dancing at Cocktail.
"You will never catch me go-go dancing without a hat or a bandana around my head. High tops and boots should be every dancer's choice of shoes," he said. "I like wearing bright colors because of my skin tone, but I find myself wearing more white than anything else. And any underwear that can show off my butt is good in my book. I like harnesses as well."
Dancing as Robbie Phoenix, he is a finalist for the 2014 Bud Boyz contest.
"I am really excited to be a finalist. Representing a brand is definitely something that has been a goal in life for me," he said.
More Robert Fraga:
—Favorite pro sports team: Texas Rangers
—Favorite pro sports athlete: Ivan 'Pudge' Rodriguez
—On Michael Sam getting drafted by the St. Louis Rams: "I think it is a good thing to have an open gay player in any sport. As far as the [much publicized, draft-day] kiss [with his boyfriend], I'm very impartial about that. I feel like it was very staged and not genuine, but that's just my opinion. I love the fact that they are in love, just the setup of the scene was very staged."
—On CMSA: Is playing his second season in the Open Sunday Softball league. He is a second baseman and his team's leadoff hitter.
—Hobbies: Sports and movies
—Shoes: "I am a high-top fanatic."
—Ethnicity: Is half Mexican, half Czechoslovakian
—Overcoming obstacles: "There are two obstacles that have definitely impacted me today. The first was in December, 2011, when my mom passed away. She was my best friend, the one person I could talk to without any pre-judgment. We talked every day. Also, my 2012 car accident; I still have two rods and four screws in my back from that. That [accident] has made me very determined."
—On Robert Fraga: "I'm a fun, go-with-the-flow, spontaneous person. My mom instilled that in me, and no matter how bad and dark things can get, there's always a silver lining. I think that's one of my strongest assets. There's always some sort of positive, no matter how bad things are. I love to have fun, smile and laugh. Laughing is the best ab workout you could do."
