We met at a health club on Chicago's Northwest Side. Nothing in particular stood out about John at the time. But we would become friends. Later he would become my partner and, eventually, my husband.
Milestones exist as a way to mark progress; how far we've come.
John and I shared many milestones in our 20-plus years together: first couple to register for the Cook County Domestic Partnership Registry; plaintiffs in first case to go to trial for discrimination based on sexual orientation under the Cook County Human Rights Ordinance; and being married in San Francisco and having our marriage shown on two Chicago television stations the same day we wed. We made the personal political.
Together we ACTed Up and were part of a Queer Nation. He was not only my husband, he was my fellow activist and we were on our very own yellow brick road with many twists and turns. I always felt stronger with him by my side and thought we made a hell of a team.
But John was pretty special on his own.
He served as office manager for Lambda Publications ( when it was Outlines and later Windy City Times ), managed the Logan Square Farmers Market, worked for the Chicago Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, served on the Commission on Human Relations' Advisory on LGBT Issues and, shortly before he passed away, worked for 35th Ward Ald. Rey Colon, a particular highlight for him and an achievement I was quite proud of him for attaining.
He was also one of only a handful of inductees to ever speak at their induction into the Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame, using the occasion to plea for more money for HIV funding in the city and making then-Mayor Daley turn a light shade of crimson. He didn't have to do that but it was important for him to use his voice for what he felt was necessary for our community.
John dared to make a difference but usually was seen as a "gentle giant." He was handsome, talented, good-natured, and one of the most empathetic persons you would ever meet. His ability to put you at ease with his smile or hearty laugh was well-known. John also gave the best hugs of anyone I've ever known. Combine his good looks, those hugs, that smile, that energy and that enthusiasm and you had one hell of a man.
I am lucky to have shared such milestones but I too am sad for the milestones, that we did not get to share: Gov. Quinn supporting marriage equality; President Obama coming around on marriage; and our home state of Illinois finally allowing same-sex couples to marry, a right we so desperately fought for and never got to savor as a couple. Such milestones serve as a reminder of what I have lost, what we, as a community, have lost.
As I look back at 30 years of WCT, I think of all the progress our community has made. John and I were, at times, in the thick of the fight, whether it was asking for marriage licenses at the Cook County Marriage License Bureau all those years and crying when we were denied, marching against anti-LGBTQ violence, fighting for more money for HIV/AIDS service organizations with The People of Color Coalition, or defending clinics when Operation Rescue would come to town.
John's death sent me reeling and trying to go on without him was, and is, at times, still painful. But I was lucky. Lucky to have shared my life with such a compassionate, caring, generous man. He was amazing and dedicated to working across communities because it was the right thing to do.
He also helped our community of Logan Square through volunteering with Paseo Prairie Garden, Unity Park Advisory Council and countless other causes in Logan Square, earning him the designation of Logan Square Hero from the Logan Square Neighborhood Association.
Most folks know about the bigger things John was involved in, but there were so many little things he did. Like talking to the young teenager who came to our house because he saw our rainbow flag and sought out resources so that he could be himself, despite pressure from his family. John helped him and one day, we found a little rainbow Beanie Babies worm between the doors as a 'thank you'. All the fliers, posters and artwork John helped create for Unity Park events even though we had no children. He understood the importance of Unity Park and knew how vital this park was to the neighborhood. That's the sort of person he was.
John's legacy was a life committed to making the world a better place. And he did. John Pennycuff was the love of my life and I was lucky to share our life together, and I thank God for that blessing.
John Pennycuff, former Windy City Times office manager, died at age 47 on Jan. 29, 2012, after a short illness. See www.windycitymediagroup.com/lgbt/Activist-former-WCT-employee-John-Pennycuff-dies/35873.html .
