As I return from a much-needed vacation and with the start of yet other New Year, I'm thankful and truly blessed to still be here. This is also the beginning of me baring my soul. Most of you are saying, who cares if you bare your soul Chat Daddy—after all, it's your business.
The reason I'm baring my soul is to help improve the state of Black relationships. Most of us are walking statistics for bad relationships. I am a single, successful Black male who's educated and well-traveled and I've realized that I have truly emerged into someone who has no one to share my accomplishments with, despite the many dates, relationships and everything in between, but nothing serious.
Many of us have been in far too many relationships that we don't even care to talk about. We have slept with people we've truly regretted sleeping with or wanted a relationship with them and they were just getting their freak on. Now, don't get me wrong; I've met some really wonderful people, from the brother who was so intellectually stimulating that I didn't care about how the sex was going to be, to the thug who was oh-so-fine. But to use the excuse that most of our relationships were down-low impromptu midnight rendezvous that often left us feeling empty is unacceptable.
I've come to realize that I have been cheating myself by having superficial or, as I always call them, 'live for the moment' relationships. These relationships were bittersweet and some downright tasty but offered no real spiritual nutrition. I'm must now look for a soul that's willing to bare their soul with me. I'm looking forward to creating an everlasting love relationship—a relationship that will no longer be tainted with feelings of abandonment, abuse and neglect. I've let all ill feelings and thoughts go. I hope me baring my soul will allow others to do the same. As we go into yet another Black history month and another Valentine's Day, I ask that you stop, look and listen to your soul for your real choice in seeking a true relationship with yourself and others. Take it from me—starting over with less stress, drama and heartache will make you truly happier in the long run.
Now on to the mail bag...
Dear Chat Daddy,
I'm a 26-year-old male who's in never been in love. I've met many guys but it never works out. Will I ever fall in love and how will I know?
— Puppy Love
Dear Puppy Love,
Love will find you when you're not looking for it. Start by meeting guys who have a personal passion that you both can share with each other, I'm not talking about sex but hobbies, travel, sports, things that makes us all human. Always remember and don't ever forget your chances of winning the lottery is better than finding Mr. Right.
— Chat Daddy
Dear Chat Daddy,
It seems to me that all of my friends are haters. I'm 22 years old, have a really good job. My own car and apartment. Most of my friends are still in school, live at home and are on the bus, and I help my friends in many ways. I'm really upset that most of them have hate in their heart towards me.
— I ain't no hater
Dear ain't no hater,
In recent years the term 'player hater' has been quite popular. The fact of it all is that everyone has a little hater in them. Most of us need to stop hating on each other and start to help one another. The way I see it the more you hate the more you block your own blessing and progress. I even realize that I have a little hater in me, I was shocked, but once I questioned myself and actions I, too, had to realize my hater ways. Haters will fall victim to the hate they create. Haters will only change, when they realize that their game is over.
— Chat Daddy
Dear Chat Daddy,
My girlfriend has a problem that needs to be addressed. We've been dating now for two years. She is too embarrassed to talk about her problem, so I decided to write you for an answer. During intercourse, especially when in certain positions, her vagina makes sounds similar to passing gas. What's causing it and how can we prevent it?
— Blowing Up
Dear Blowing Up,
Wow, here we go with one of those questions I have to get help with. But me being who I am all I had to do was a little research and here's your answer. First of all there is no reason to be embarrassed. Your girlfriend is experiencing a vart, which is a natural sound, and unlike a similar release of gas, there's no odor. You can simply ignore it or make a humorous comment on how well you are putting it on her. Just relax; the more you do it the more it will be like sweet music to your ears.
— Chat Daddy