When Liel, a young Israeli woman of Ethiopian descent, came out to her mother as bisexual, her mother was perplexed. The concept of same-sex love was completely foreign within the Israeli Ethiopian community.
"She didn't understand what I said, because we don't even have a word for 'LGBT,'" Liel said.
Despite the dislocation Liel felt in that moment, she was nevertheless not alone, she would soon learn. She joined a group of LGBT Ethiopian Israelis, KALA ( Kehila Lahatavit Ethiopit ), which formed online in 2014. The group has not officially incorporated yet, but now boasts about 70 members and has been meeting in person frequently.
Liel spoke in several U.S. cities along with two other members of the LGBT Ethiopian Israeli community, Sarah, one of KALA's co-founders, and Yaniv. Because the three are not completely out in their community, they could not give their full names. They spoke in Chicago twice, on the South and North sides. Their visit was sponsored by the organization A Wider Bridge, which fosters relations between the LGBT community and Israel.
Liel and Sarah both came out when they were doing their military service, they said.
"I studied at a very religious school," said Sarah. "The military let me be who I am. I wasn't judged."
Liel explained that the Ethiopian Jewish community's religious roots run deep, adding, "They believe in the Torah. To come to this community, and say that we are LGBT? Most say that it is a curse that white people give us, because we are with them in schools and the army."
Their families are ostensibly accepting of their being gay or bi, but have misgivings with their being public about it; Ethiopian communities are tightly knit and gossip spreads quickly. Yaniv said his father was worried that he was the "first one."
"It's not what you want, it's how you can help your parents. It's a struggle to be a bridge between the Ethiopian community and the LGBT community," said Liel.
While the migrations of the Ethiopian Jews to Israel, the most significant episodes of which took place in 1984 and 1991, provide the nation with an inspiring historical narrative, the reality of the Ethiopians' integration into Israeli society has been difficult. Liel, Sarah and Yanivall of whom were born in Israelsaid that Ethiopian Israelis encounter discrimination frequently.
Some Jewish practices and traditions that the Ethiopians brought with them are much older than those most Israelis are familiar with, so the Ethiopians often find themselves having to defend their status as Jews.
"Being Jewish is something we have to prove," said Yaniv. "It's something we have to explain. People see the color first."
Discrimination can take many forms, he added. Some schools tried separating white and Black students. Blood banks, in the mid-'90s, often threw away donations that came from Ethiopians. Police profiling has been a frequent occurrence too.
"If someone is hanging out in a predominantly white neighborhood, immediately they will be profiled. They can be arrested for nothing," Yaniv said.
Sarah and Liel both said they wished their parents' generation would have been more assertive in fighting for their rights. But that generation sacrificed and suffered greatly to make the journey to Israel, and was reluctant to make waves.
"They were a very quiet community," Sarah said. "They didn't do anything. It made me sad. Especially the Ethiopian LGBT community."
"Not to say there hasn't been a very small minority that has been able to do well in Israel, but if you take the community, 30 years later, it's not where it should be," Yaniv added. "There are so many beautiful things that our community can bring to the culture, and I don't think that it's reached that point yet. … We take pride in who we are, and not trying to be something that we're not."
KALA members are getting ready to take on the challenges of building an organizational infrastructure to what's been, up until now, an online group.
Sarah said, "I want people to know that KALA exists and that we're not going anywhere. We need a lot of help. We need to build a community that can deal with struggles."