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  NIGHTSPOTS

From the Booth
2005-11-16

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Skuff 3: Downright Wrong from Hothouse Video

Judging a Porn By Its Cover Dicksel: This video looks expensive. Very Modern looking.

Pubert: Let's check out the back cover.

D: Whoa!

P: Someone's having a double sausage sandwich!

First scene is set in a black room surrounded by a chain link fence. Two men wear gas masks and torture a victim on the floor.

D: Did someone fart? Is that why he is wearing the mask?

P: Is that C3PO in the background and Darth Vader in the front?

D: Luke, take my light saber.

'I need water,' the victim says.

P: The poor guy is dehydrated!

D: They think they have it bad on Lost.

Dicksel's mom calls and interrupts the show.

D: Mom, I'm kinda busy.

Mom: Let me tell you this funny story. Blah blah blah...

Ten minutes later we start again with the next scene. Same set, different guys...

D: Is that a knee brace he's wearing?

P: Those are knee pads.

D: Of course.

P: Look, it's the chain link Spiderman web that they have at Cellblock!

D: That one has mascara. Maybe it's Maybelline!

P: That doesn't suit a leather video at all... They should have left the smoke machine on... He has small hands.

D: Better to hold the mascara wand with!

P: Look! It's the upside down kiss from the Spiderman movie! But he's kissing his ass!

The following scene, same set...

P: He's wearing two leather bands. D: That means he flip-flops. He's a flapjack.

P: He's sitting on what looks like a roadside caution cone.

D: Looks like a Devo hat to me!

Last scene creates a one-on-one scene.

'Leeek the boot, clean it up!'

P: Ha ha! Where is he from?

D: It's all boring until the 4th scene!

P: Maybe the guy is from Poland like me.

P: Well, Skuff 3 is getting a thumbs up the butt.

D: Yeah, hot leather guys. Why don't they look like that in real life? Did you see the abs on that guy?

P: Chicago's leather crowd has events every week. I might have to go check them out.

D: This video is what it is—just a bunch of guys banging in front of a chain link fence.

P: No plot, but people that buy or rent videos won't want a plot.

Pubert: Thumbs up the butt

Dicksel: Thumbs up the butt

Any Comments or suggestions? pubert@windycitymediagroup.com


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