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F.Y.I.: Ask the Chat Daddy
by Chat Daddy
2005-06-01

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Art Sims

Welcome to June 2005. As we prepare to celebrate another year of Gay Pride it is most important that we start celebrating another year of no regrets. Many of you may question, "What could this guy mean, no regrets?" Many of us celebrate Pride with parties, celebrations and such, but many of us don't celebrate a personal pride. When I say a personal pride, I speak of self-acceptance and a genuine love for letting others know who you are and what you truly stand for. So many of us are still very "closeted" out of the fear of being discovered or found out by people as close to us as our family and or loved ones. Too often our voices are silenced because our families, communities and churches don't acknowledge our existence but we still love these elements unconditionally. My advice to you is that if you are to celebrate, truly celebrate your own independence and pride in being who you really want to be. We are living in 2005, not 1905. For so many of us, this is a tremendous sacrifice, but do you realize that there is very little joy or happiness in living a life where you are lying to yourself on a continuous basis because you are afraid to tell people what truly makes you happy. For some people, they are afraid of what others may think about the unconventional path that they have chosen, but when you are living a fulfilled life, your unconventionalness should not matter. If you truly are afraid, there are plenty of support groups that are able to help you to come into your full awareness of self. The more you know about self, the prouder you will be. No one is fiercer or more fabulous that you are at this moment in time. Celebrate your talents, accomplishments and opportunities with pride.

I wish all my readers a happy and joyous Pride but most of all, I need for you to understand who you are and what your true purpose on the Earth really is.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I've never had a problem with meeting guys. It seems that I tend to meet all the wrong guys. I don't consider myself to be an extremely attractive person, but I'm very nice, employed and have an outgoing personality. I find that most guys tend to use me ( sex & my money ) for all the wrong reasons. I'd like to know what I could do to change this situation.

Just A Plain Simple Guy

Dear Just A Plain Simple Guy,

This is a very common problem in today's society and it has nothing to do with looks. It seems that everyone finds great joy and pleasure in using people up. A lot of these guys aren't looking for relationships because many of them need to find themselves. A man who is developing himself doesn't have time to devote to a relationship. Most guys keep a collection of people to fulfill there different needs and desires. Most people feel that something better will come along and ask themselves why should they settle for just an average Joe. This in my book is very shallow behavior. Continue to develop yourself and never put your life on hold for someone else.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I'm a 37-year-old female who recently met a very attractive female while at a baseball game. We've gone out a few times and now are considering a long-term commitment. I don't feel that we do enough communicating or should I say there have not been enough questions answered about our likes and dislikes. Can you give me some pointers on questions that I should ask that might lead us closer together?

Two Of A Kind

Dear Two Of A Kind,

Communication is the number one element in any relationship. So many times we are so caught up in the excitement of having someone, that we don't fully discuss some of the key components to a healthy and happy relationship. Let me share a few things that will help you have great communication in your relationship.

Are you equally attracted to each other?

Do you trust each other?

Are you both gainfully employed?

Do you have similar attitudes about sex?

Are you able to make each other laugh?

Do you have similar views about money, religion and politics?

How do you both view drug and alcohol use?

What foods does your mate really enjoy?

I hope that these very easy and simple questions will help spark even more discovery of each other.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I have a problem that I really need to address. I think I may be addicted to sex. I think about it all the time and when I do get it, it's never enough to satisfy me. I find myself picking up strangers after work just for the sake of having sex with them. I'm afraid that if this doesn't stop I will be in serious trouble. Can you give me some insight on this?

I Just Can't Get Enough

Dear I Just Can't Get Enough,

I hate to be the one to tell you this but you are indeed a sex-addict. Any time you can't control your urges and desires despite the fact that you are fully aware of the consequences of your actions you need to seek professional attention. Sexual addiction sometimes spells out trouble that could be from a bad childhood to low self-esteem. Just like any other addiction with time and patience you can truly overcome your addiction one step at a time. What ever you do, please wrap it up and practice safe sex.

Dear Chat Daddy,

My lover of five years has had six jobs in the five years we have been dating. Every job that he has worked on, there has been some type of problem and drama with him in the workplace. Every time that I try to talk to him about this, he flies off the handle with me about the situation. I on the other hand have been on my job for over ten years and realize that all jobs have their ups and downs. Can you help me to explain to this 37-year-old man, that this behavior is not cute!

Why Are You Home Today

Dear Why Are You Home Today,

Your mate may be the type of person who may appear to be one way at home and be another at work. For one reason or another, he's probably very argumentative, intimidating, condescending or threatening to others in the workplace. People who tend to change jobs as often as the seasons change seem to never take the approach that it could be them that is the reason why every job turns out to be a conflicting situation. In this day and age with the economy being the way it is, it is important that we seek out employment that is fulfilling and that will cause the least amount of drama and conflict. I wish your friend a higher level of employment and understanding in the workplace.

Dear Chat Daddy,

My girlfriend likes sex more than I do. I enjoy it but not as often as she would like to have it. We have a three years old child and I work two jobs. How can we get back to getting our groove on?

-Relighting My Fire

Dear Relighting My Fire,

This is a very common problem with a lot of working couples, especially those with children, fatigue is often a mood killer for more or less sex in a relationship. One way to have more sex is to schedule it. I know this sounds crazy but we all must make time for some pleasure. This will give you both something to look forward to. Try connecting at lease once a day, even if it's only for 15 to 30 minutes of private time. Be open and honest with each other about your desires. I wish you more love than you can handle.

-Chat Daddy

Please feel free to contact me at talk2chatdaddy@aol.com .


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