Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2019-10-02
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

F.Y.I.: Ask the Chat Daddy
by Chat Daddy
2005-05-01

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Where Is the Love?

I often stop and remind myself that there is no greater thing than love. Webster defines love as: A strong affection for another. I beg to differ.

I feel we have gotten away from the honest, true values of love. Everywhere you look we are being sold the concept that sex is all you need to get by. We are being fed sex on a continuous basis from advertising, music, videos, movies and fashion to food. Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, but we have lost ourselves in this 'Get it while we can' society.

In my past articles I have taught you how to deal with others and how to deal with matters of the heart. Now it's time to teach you that your love is truly your love, a real love. When was the last time you told yourself, I love myself? As weird as it seems, this is something we must do. This allows us to have freedom of and belief in ourselves. When was the last time you stopped and told someone that you loved them for no reason?

These are two examples and reasons why we should love more. Not a love bought with money, but a love given from the heart. One of my favorite quotes is 'I who has nothing but myself to give.' If you think about it, this is one simple yet powerful thing one can express to another. If we took away the material possessions and approached our relationships naked and uninhibited, could you imagine what type of chemistry we would generate? When a person gives unadulterated, genuine love, that's when you are on to something. Love is patient, kind, considerate, long-suffering, confident and free.

True intimacy isn't only about sex. Intimacy is being connected through shared contact in a variety of activities that's deep, moving and personal. I invite you to take the first step to love. In order to develop and bond with a mate, we must become more intimate with ourselves. The more you know about your needs and desires, the more honest you are about him or her. Learn to love more with no boundaries. I wish you Real Love and abundant blessings.

Now on to the mail bag ... .

Dear Chat Daddy:

I love reading your column ... . You are the man! I've got a problem I really need help with. I'm a 37-year-old brother dating a 25-year-old guy who is employed, smart, outgoing, giving and very friendly with all he meets. My best friend is also 37 years old, single, outgoing and has really great chemistry with my boyfriend. I'm starting to worry that he spends way too much time with us. My boyfriend loves for us all to hang out together ( movies, dinners, parties ) . How do I keep them separated without seeming possessive?

— Get A Man Of Your Own

Dear Get A Man Of Your Own:

You better stop playing with fire ... . You've got what every man wants—a good man. Talk about tricky. I think the Queen of Soul says it best ... 'Don't need nobody always sitting around me and my man.' Do you trust your man? That is the first question you need to ask yourself. Second question: Has your friend ever given you a reason not to trust him around men in general? It's really great when our friends get along with our mates. You and your mate need to spend more quality time together alone. A real relationship is between two people who love each other, not a threesome, unless that's the flavor of the relationship.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy:

I am in need of your help. I have weird sexual preoccupations. Chat Daddy, I love feet. Nothing turns me on more than feet. I love feet so much that I just got a job at Foot Locker just to be closer to more feet. I don't need intercourse as much as I like just playing with feet. Do I have a foot fetish or what, and how does it develop? Could this turn into a problem? Help me out.

— A Very Foot Forward Kind Of Guy

Dear A Very Foot Forward Brother:

You're a FREAK and you know it ... . No, Just kidding. Here's the naked truth: a fetish is an object or body part that a person must focus on to be sexually aroused. It can range from feet to underwear to leather. Usually a fetish takes root in childhood. A fetish is when you find something titillating. Most people feel uncomfortable or guilty about these feelings—you are now at the point where you are transferring your thoughts into action. You need to be careful. Most people may feel that their fetish tendencies are harmless, but I'm here to tell you that they may cause you trouble. If you can only become aroused by focusing on external objects, and not your partners, seek help my brother ... fast. You may want to see a sex therapist.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy:

I'm a 40-year-old male, in shape, outgoing, civic and socially involved in my community. I have been attending a very large church here in the city of Chicago. During my time at the church I met a gentleman who holds a very high position there. He's 52 years old, tall, handsome, has his own everything ( money, house, cars ) and has traveled. Everything a guy could want in a man. Here's the problem, Chat Daddy. When we first met we started off talking on the phone. Nice conversation ... we have a lot in common. One evening while visiting my house we became intimate. This was a big mistake. This man wants nothing but sex from me, which really bothers me because I want more than just that. I'm at a point now where I want to be loved and to give love. I want to cook dinner, travel, have a committed relationship and treat a man the way he wants to be treated. He has turned out to be one of the most immature men I've ever met. When we now speak, I suggest that we maybe do dinner or check out a movie. He quickly claims he is too tired or something, but before the conversation is over he wants to have sex. A really big nut in my book. It's to the point where when I go to church, I'm so turned off that I really don't enjoy the service because of him being there.

— Not Trying To Be The Preacher's Sex Pot

Dear Not Trying to Be The Preacher's Sex Pot:

What a mess! It's really sad to think you've found what you've thought to be a good man and he turned out to just want to get his freak on and you're not really feeling that. At some point in all our lives we get sick and tired of mindless sex. That's why so many people go celibate. It's a shame this man can't realize a good person when he sees one. You've got it going on ( job, car, home and community work ) ! You go boy, and you are still good in bed ( I'll be getting letters about you ) .

I applaud you for taking a stance on this issue. So many people will use you up and not care about your true feelings. I know you've heard this many times before, but a good, loving man will come your way.

Now, on the subject of you going to church; your relationship is with God and no one else, so go on to church and block out this man. Get your time in with God, because he is truly the one that will provide you with a good mate.

P. S. To Mr. High Power Church Man. Come on brother, you are to lead the flock, not play with them. You need to settle down and let your flesh calm down some before it gets you in trouble. I hope you are not sleeping around with a lot of people from this church, because loose lips will truly sink ships. OK Captain!

— Chat Daddy

Are you single, Tried of looking for love in all the wrong places? Please join me Sunday, May 29, 2005 as I host the Ultimate Dating Game. Come get hooked up for the summer ( looking for all single males and females ) . This event is hosted by The Men of the 'M' Experience, join Darrell Hill, Thayer Johnson, Charles Nelson, Sidney Thomas, Jermaine Young and myself in conjunction with Chicago Clubs, Promoters and their supporters for a Memorial Day Benefit & BBQ at Zentra, 923 W. Weed St. ( North Ave & Sheffield ) , 8 p.m. until Midnight, $10 All Night, 100% of profits are being donated to the WINDY CITY PRIDE 2005. For more information, please contact ( 773 ) 215-6835 or OTDLCHICAGO@aol.com .

Until next time ... LOVE IS ... The Choice is truly yours. — Chat Daddy.

Please feel free to contact me at talk2chatdaddy@aol.com .


facebook twitter google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Rally calls for Puerto Rico gov's resignation after anti-LGBTQ chat surfaces 2019-07-17 - In the wake of Puerto Rican Governor Ricardo Rossello's political allies' recent arrests on corruption and fraud charges, the Chicago Boricua Resistance and ...


Gay News

Rocco Steele discusses daddy image and product line 2019-05-02 - Last year, Instinct Magazine proclaimed popular adult performer and entrepreneur Rocco Steele to be "the daddy of all daddies." Washington, D.C.-based Steele said ...


Gay News

Daddy Issues party event at Jackhammer Complex Aug. 4 2018-07-27 - Daddy Issues Cutest International Party Brand Announces Chicago Premiere: Featuring DJ's Mateo Segade, Harry Cross and Ariel Zetina On August 4, 2018; ...


Gay News

NUNN ON ONE PERFORMANCE Chatting with the multilingual Matteo Lane 2018-02-27 - Matteo Lane returns to Chicago after making it big in New York. He performed on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Late Night ...


Gay News

BOOKS A chat with author Kathryn Sermak on Bette Davis, the grande dame of acting 2017-11-08 - Kathryn Sermak was the personal assistant to Bette Davis in the final decade of the celebrated actress's life. Hired at 23, Sermak found ...


Gay News

GUEST COLUMN Taboo Sex, Racism, and Gay Men: A Chat in Black and White 2017-08-02 - In 30 years of HIV work alongside Black advocates, I have rarely written on the topic of race. It makes me uncomfortable, or ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Daddy Orchid 2017-07-13 - CHICAGO — Earlier this year, the Leather community lost the beloved and respected Daddy Orchid ( Drea ). Daddy Orchid was a scholar, ...


Gay News

Mr. Chicago Leather 2017 is Gerald "Daddy G" Cernak 2017-02-01 - Congratulations to Gerald "Daddy G" Cernak, chosen as Mr. Chicago Leather 2017 at the contest, Saturday, January 28, at Leather Archives & Museum, ...


Gay News

Chicago Sky will not retain Head Coach and General Manager Pokey Chatman 2016-10-28 - CHICAGO — After six seasons, the Chicago Sky has decided Head Coach and General Manager Pokey Chatman will not be retained. Under her ...


Gay News

'Change Chat' takes on bisexuality 2016-10-05 - [*Item updated after publication. See note below.] A small but mighty group attended the latest Center on Halsted Change Chat on the evening ...


 



Copyright © 2019 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor


 



About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.