I would like to thank Windy City Media Group and Identity for honoring me by bringing my advice column to your publication. In my opinion, your group is the ultimate publication dealing with GLBT issues.
Thank you for featuring me in your premier publication and cover February 2004.
I look forward to sharing and offering honest, open opinions, with a tremendous dose of reality, whether you like it or not.
This year, 2005, will be dedicated to the year of 'You.' Look forward to physical and mental growth beyond your wildest dreams. If there is something bothering you or something you want to improve, now is the time to deal with these issues. And, above all, if you are seeking a loving and honest relationship, stop wasting your time with people who don't or won't give you what you truly need and want.
_____
Dear Chat Daddy,
I'm a 35-year-old, white male from the Wicker Park area who can't seem to find a good man. I'm outgoing, fun loving and a compulsive liar. Most people won't admit that they are a liar, but I truly enjoy some of the lies that I've told. Every time I meet a guy that I'm attracted to, somehow they lose interest in me. What should I do?
— Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
Dear Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire,
How do I know if any of your letter has any truth to it at all? In order to have any type of healthy relationship, you must be open and honest with yourself first. You need to address the issue of why you like lying. Is it due to the lack of self-esteem and/or lack of confidence in you? You need to seek therapy and counseling to help you deal with some of the issues that you are lying about. I'm sure most of the guys you have met have caught you in a lie or two and to keep from going into what would be a confrontational situation, they exited stage left. Personally, I don't blame them!! Tell the truth my friend.
— Chat Daddy
Dear Chat Daddy,
I am extremely concerned about my 22-year-old twin brother. We both came out to our family when we were 18. Our family has been very supportive. My brother is quite promiscuous and has not been looking or feeling his best lately. I am so afraid that he has contracted some type of venereal disease or worse HIV. How can I help my brother without seeming overbearing?
— Two of A Kind
Dear Two of A Kind,
It really touches my heart when families are accepting of their children no matter what, but it really touches me when they are accepting in a young person's developmental years. Your love and concern for your brother is an outstanding show of support. Sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk to find out if indeed he is not feeling his best. There are plenty of clinics and hospitals no matter what your economic level that now provide safe and confidential testing of sexually transmitted diseases. If your brother is sick, this does not mean the end of the world. There are many wonderful and successful treatments that are helping people to live longer and stronger each day. Take a trip to one of the most wonderful places in the city of Chicago: Howard Brown Health Center.
— Chat Daddy
Dear Chat Daddy,
I'm a 29-year-old female from Evanston, who's madly in love with a woman who I don't think is gay. She and I met at work one day during lunch and the conversation between us was electrifying. The only problem is I never spoke of my sexual preference and neither did she.
— In Search Of
Dear In Search Of,
It is so much better to be safe than sorry. Being upfront and honest can really save face if she is not gay, but if she is, imagine how much more open and comfortable you both can be with each other. Not saying that if she isn't gay she would not want to be your friend, but it makes it so much easier when friendships start off open and honest.
— Chat Daddy
Dear Chat Daddy:
I am a 38-year-old African-American female who is educated, well traveled, and single. I met someone who is passionate, caring, and concerned about me. This person is a white female. This is my first relationship with someone of the same sex, and I must admit that I am thoroughly enjoying it. But my 'girlfriend' wants to marry me. While I don't doubt she is the one for me, I am faced with coming out to my family about my sexuality and that I will possibly be marrying my same-sex partner. What should I do?
— Going To The Chapel And I'm Going To Get Married
Dear Going To The Chapel:
WOW! Let me start by saying that you need to be sure that this is love and not some mere fascination or 'curiosity.' Often we are so desperate to be loved that we fill the void with the first relationship that makes us feel good. Make sure you know who you are, and what you want out of life. I am in no way saying that this relationship is not genuine, just be certain before you take a big step like telling your family about your new girlfriend and your new life together.
— Chat Daddy
Please feel free to contact me at talk2chatdaddy@aol.com .