From Jet Set Men.
Pubert: Who says porn can't educate people?
Groeper: This is a how-to guide to help out the community.
P: These are things we need to know to survive out there in the real world.
G: I am hoping to get some real tips as we review this one.
P: Do you think the cover boy is straight?
G: Straight to bed maybe …
Adam Campbell intros the film saying he's a straight sophomore with five easy tips for fucking a straight guy.
#1 Appeal to his ego
P: This is like a public service video.
G: With an edge to it…
P: We have a gym situation here.
G: He asked him how big his arms measure.
P: 22 inches? That is bigger than the contestants at The Glenwood this past weekend for the guns contest.
G: That guy is big and bulky.
P: The interaction between these two is very awkward.
G: It didn't take much to get in the straight dude's drawers.
P: Possible because he wasn't wearing any.
G: We could take a poll to see how many straight men don't wear underwear.
P: You should hit Wrigleyville and find out; just say you are on assignment.
G: It' s a dirty job but someone has to do it.
P: If Adam is going to turn more straight guys then he needs to get better at sucking dick.
G: Is the floor dirty? He's leaving his tennis shoes on!
P: For a hundred percent straight he sure bottoms easy over a bench.
G: Campbell made up for the bad oral skills and shot straight to the top with jizz.
#2 Tell him that nobody will find out
P: Looks like two twinks are playing on their individual computer keyboards.
G: One got too turned on thinking about his girlfriend.
P: Hey, what's a buddy for except to give a blowjob?
G: That blonde Bieber hair has to go.
P: It plays into the surfer look.
G: These guys could pass for straight.
P: Look at his toes curl though!
G: He has a shamrock tattoo. Maybe it helps him get lucky.
#3 Apply beer and lots of it
P: Three buds are drinking beer and playing cards.
G: Do you hear them gay bashing?
P: I bet they learn a lesson by the end.
G: I have never heard of the game "gay chicken" before.
P: They say "closer" moving closer to touching or sucking cocks.
G: Someone got a little too close.
P: Let the real games begin!
G: These men have amazing bodies.
P: They are switching positions all over that couch.
#4 Confuse him with scientific facts
G: "Retaining semen can cause blindness?"
P: Is that in the Bible?
G: This is really confusing but it leads to some head in the bed.
#5 Well, that's a surprise…
P: We don't want to spoil it for the readers.
G: Here's a hint. It only works if they try steps one through four.
P: I wonder what is the fascination with conquering a straight male?
G: Lots of people like the challenge.
P: It leads to a trail of broken hearts.
G: I guess the game makes it worth it.
P: The music and sets were both spot-on.
G: There were a few too many twinks in this flick for me.
P: I hope this instructional video helps out the minions.
G: For me I think I need more than five steps!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Groeper: Finger down the throat.
5 Easy Ways is available on Blu-ray today. To purchase this movie and more, just visit www.jetsetmen.com .