An Oct. 22 gathering at Kennedy-King College encouraged families to open their homes for teenage foster children. Approximately 40 people attended.
In a program that Jeremy Harveyassociate deputy director of in the Division of Strategic Planning and Innovations at the Illinois Department of Children & Family Servicesmoderated, three teens in foster care and three foster parents weighed the challenges facing those who are engaging the foster-care system.
"The best people to tell us who makes the best Forster parents are people within the system," said Harvey.
Tammy ( only panelists' first names were used ), who has been a foster parent for many years, said that she particularly enjoys welcoming teens with special needs, adding that it was especially vital that foster families build a bridge of trust between themselves and their charges early on. One way she does that is by providing her kids with a key to her housemany foster parents force their kids to wait outside if nobody else is at home. Her kids can also eat or drink whatever is in the refrigerator as well.
"I want a child in my home to feel like they are at home," Tammy said.
She added that it is important to remember that kids are coming from circumstances beyond their control and have in most cases been profoundly disappointed by the adults in their lives. But she found that the rewards for welcoming teenagers were plentiful.
Tia, who was in foster care for eight years, reminded the audience that teenagers don't need nighttime feedings, and can help around the house.
"Don't call me your foster child, call me your child," she said. "Don't just kick me out when I mess up."
Josh, who along with his wife, Erin, became a foster parent to 15-year-old Simone, said, "Once the barriers come down, it's incredible."
Seventeen-year-old Jesse, vice president of the Cook County Youth Advisory Board, is in his second round of foster care after a failed adoption. However, he said he has been happy in his new home.
"What I thought was just going to be a bed for me has transitioned into a family," he said. "With this new connection, I'm able to develop and thrive."
Ashley Lepse, recruitment and program support coordinator for Hephzibah Children's Association, also spoke at the event, which included sponsors such as AdoptUSKIDS, Windy City Times, Pride Action Tank, Aunt Martha's, ChildServ, Hephzibah, Illinois Center for Adoption and Permanency, Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, Kaleidoscope, Lakeside Community Committee, Lawrence Hall, Lutheran Social Services of Illinois, Little City, National Youth Advocate Program and SOS Children's Villages.