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DANCING ABOUT ARCHITECTURE
by Marc “Moose” Moder
2013-03-06

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It used to be if you weren't totally Irish and 100% gay, you didn't really have to pay much attention to St. Patrick's Day. That has changed since 1) the Irish Catholics have lightened up on us as a people, and 2) we realized it was a great day to hit on drunken single straight guys. Now St. Patrick's Day isn't just straight pride day, but an overall reason for the vast majority of Chicago to get wasted as one.

So with that in mind, I've got a few suggestions for your "holiday" weekend party playlist, just in case your "Pride 2012 Mix" is getting a bit tired and too gay for this most hetero of days.

Start out with a shot of Jameson or two and put on "Whiskey River" by Willie Nelson. Willie is now mostly known for his pot use, but back in the day it was booze. He's got about six really great drinking tracks, but this ode to functioning alcoholism is the most fun.

Then tack on "Shots" by LMFAO and Lil Jon as your Jamesonfest continues. You can't not toss back a few while this frenetic track screams in your face, "SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS, etc" … you get the point.

Moving on to mixed drinks (now that you've got a good buzz on), "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk, "Fiesta" by The Pogues, and "I Love My Drink" by Blank are all great sing-a-long drinking songs. In fact, you can just skip the whole column and go buy the first four Pogues CDs. Led by legendary boozer Shane MacGowan, The Pogues almost can't do a song that doesn't sound whiskey-soaked to its core, and you can't get more Irish.

Follow up with the satirical duo of "Drunk Girls" by LCD Soundsystem and "Titties and Beer" by Frank Zappa, probably the best song about Satan eating your biker girlfriend to ever be written.

Then as the day winds down, you can either end with The Dead Kennedys' classic "Too Drunk to Fuck," or Loretta Lynn's "Don't Come Home From Drinkin' With Lovin' On Your Mind." Both pretty much have the same message, told from different vantage points. One is just right for you, and I'm guessing, accurate at this point, as my goal of getting you completely wasted has worked. Too bad for you and that cute frat boy you picked up.

End your St. Patrick's Day Saturday with DJ Moose at The Sofo Tap's new singles' night, Stag, debuting March 16.


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