When Logan Yves-Pauli learned he was HIV-positive, the emotions were no different from hearing any other bad news: fear, anger and sadness. However, Yves-Pauli has a tendency to deal with emotional spikes in a very simple, straightforward way.
It is the card dealt, he said, adding the popular phrase "It is what it is."
"HIV does not define me as a person [and] it actually hasn't altered my life much since [being diagnosed]," Yves-Pauli said. "I know this sounds strange, but I wouldn't change what happened to me … it has made me a stronger person, a person with deeper sensibilities and it has shaped me into who I am today."
Yves-Pauli, 41—who lives in Lincoln Park and is a former executive for Sears Holdings Corporation—is using 2014 to educate about HIV/AIDS. His boyfriend of four months, Jaime Arroyo, is doing the same, as he, too, is HIV-positive.
Both are participating in the annual 545-mile AIDS LifeCycle, a bicycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles in June; then, it's the Ride For AIDS Chicago, a 200-mile bicycle ride in July.
"This will hopefully be my chance to change/alter [people's] perspective on looking at those living with HIV/AIDS," Yves-Pauli said. "There is definitely a subcommunity of guys I have met who I personally would love to change their point of view when they discuss or put their opinions out there when discussing guys living with HIV. Their comments have been very negative and offensive during our discussions. These friends [did not] know I am positive, so this may be my chance to not only come out to them, but also help change or alter their point of views."
Arroyo, 30, has been HIV-positive for about nine years—and he's been open and out about being gay and his HIV status for most of those years. Arroyo has done the ALC ride for the past two years and the Ride For AIDS Chicago for the past three years—and he's sported the orange bandana since it was first introduced to the RFAC, symbolizing an HIV-positive rider.
This is Yves-Pauli's first endurance ride of any distance, and his public coming-out about his HIV status.
"I love taking on new challenges," said Yves-Pauli, who once participated in a Tough Mudder running event. "I have always said I enjoy when people tell me 'You can't do something,' or infer that something is going to be 'too hard to take on…'
"I gravitate to those moments and take on those challenges to prove to myself that nothing can beat me. The challenge for [both of these] rides is less about physical stature and endurance and more about a mindset I hope to instill in those that mean a lot to me who look at people living with HIV/AIDS [in] a more positive point of view. This challenge of altering some pretty head strong people will be a feat in itself.
"Regardless [if] you are gay or straight, it is our responsibility to put ourselves out there and help those who are less fortunate or who are in a place in life where they are having difficulty overcoming life's challenges. I want to make the lives of those living with HIV/AIDS better … these rides are just a small way of helping to accomplish this goal."
The two will pedal side by side during both events, plus the countless training rides building up to each. The miles will be memorable; doing it with a partner is priceless.
"This experience wouldn't be the same if I didn't have him to share it with," Yves-Pauli said. "At the same time, we will push each other to compete and finish; we will push each other to relax and have fun and, most importantly, keep reminding each other to make lasting memories so we can talk about this event 50 years from now when we are sunning somewhere on the beach during retirement."
Arroyo added, "I will rely on Logan a lot [during the events because] I want this to be a memorable summer of life-changing rides for us. I want to be there for him when he thinks it's too hot or too hard [to complete]. I want to come home from this ride closer and stronger.
"I do these rides because I can. [Although] I am HIV-positive, I refuse to let that stop me from living an absolutely above-average life, and I want to be the reason someone gets the help they need to deal with their HIV status."
Both know there are plenty in Chicago, and elsewhere, struggling with their HIV status, especially if it's newly diagnosed. Both want to help.
Yves-Pauli is quick to suggest to, get educated. "If you aren't being treated now, but know you are HIV-positive, get treated," he said. "Those of us who are living with HIV can have the same quality life, if not better and longer, than those who are not positive but taking care of ourselves."
Yves-Pauli also suggested finding people in the community who you can relate to, and be open.
"Don't let HIV define you. It is just something you live with, but not something that tells you how you should live," Yves-Pauli said.
Yves-Pauli has been a successful businessman who was a company vice-president at 24, a company CEO at 29, and an executive at a $45 billion company at 36. His biggest fear has always been a fear of failing.
"My life was about excelling and achieving goals in the business world," he said. "I have always made life decisions based on what it would do for my professional career. After my father's passing at age 64, I decided to stop living for my career and start living for me."
In July, it will mark one-year for Yves-Pauli to be retired … sort of.
"I decided to take a year off from the grind. I am fortunate that I was able to take time off to find myself again and make new friends and recapture the innocence of living … it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself," he said. "The challenge which I overcame, this fear of failing, was exhausting on my mind and my soul … it wears you down and makes your perspective on life skewed toward a place of 'stuff' versus living a full life.
"I don't have a fear of failing any longer; I don't need to be the CEO of a company to feel accomplished and fulfilled in life. That said, I will always kick ass in the business world during my time at work; it is just who I am. However, I won't let my career shape and mold the way I live. I no longer live to work, but rather work to live."
The couple said their HIV status doesn't define them.
"Sure, I have been sad, heartbroken and disappointed [since the HIV diagnosis], but I can fortunately say I have never experienced that emotion or state of mind" of hitting rock bottom, Yves-Pauli said.
Arroyo, a server at Boka and a full-time student, said his major 2014 summer riding events will be "amazing and special," particularly since Yves-Pauli and other close friends will be along for the miles.
"The Ride For AIDS Chicago is special to me because it benefits an organization—the Test Positive Aware Network ( TPAN )—which has greatly impacted my life," Arroyo said. "My goal this summer is to raise as much money and awareness as possible. My emotions were through the roof when I learned I was HIV-positive. I was so young and ignorant to the gay community, and HIV [then] only meant that I would die soon.
"I never planned on riding my bike for hundreds of miles each year, but I'm so glad that I do. I look forward to these rides each year and I truly love the challenges."
Anyone looking to donate to fundraising Yves-Pauli and Arroyo are doing in support of TPAN through the Ride For AIDS Chicago and the AIDS LifeCycle, go to: www.tinyurl.com/jaimeALC .
