[*Item updated after publication. See note below.]
A small but mighty group attended the latest Center on Halsted Change Chat on the evening of Sept. 28. Host Andrew Fortman tied this chat's theme, "Bi the Way," to other bi-focused COH programming in September ( traditionally the month that celebrates bisexuality ), and introduced two local bi community figures.
Adrienne McCue, founder of the nonprofit AJW foundation, began a blog called BiSocial Network discussing her identity back in 2008. The emails she received from bisexuals who felt invisible were McCue's inspiration for the "I am Visible Campaign," which starred actors Paul Fitzgerald and Alan Cumming and scored McCue an 2011 invitation to the White House's LGBT reception.
Often asked "What do you like more?" when it comes to gender, McCue said she doesn't have a type. "I don't like more, I like the person," McCue said. She remembered having an intimate connection with a childhood friend ...while simultaneously being a huge Rick Springfield fan. Yet McCue didn't realize there was a term for her identity until college.
Marla Depew, a comedian who co-produces Just Dickin' Around, a women and queer friendly comedy showcase at Hydrate in Boystown, described her attractions in terms of "specific gender" rather than "specific sex," saying she was attracting to the soft masculinity of alpha women and beta men.
Both Depew and McCue found the bi community to be quite inclusive. "It's a little bit of everyone," said McCue, who remembered feeling out of place because of her height and race in women's spaces. Depew felt that when she was in lesbian space as a bisexual, she was "accepted with a caveat"as long as she was dating women she was ok, but if she dated a man she was seen as a traitor, even though her orientation hadn't changed.
McCue was irritated by both ongoing identity segregation in the LGBTQ community and the lack of separate bi space. Depew came out as bi at 28. She felt her experience with bierasure and biphobia was why bi people, such as actress Cynthia Nixon, choose to identitfy as monosexual rather than bi.
Both women felt that the bi community needed clear labels to communicate their existence and unite the community. They liked the term bi+, and agreed that if someone felt words like queer or pansexual fit their identity best, that was the label they should use (both labels fall under the bi+ umbrella.) But if someone resisted using bi or bi+ because of the reaction the word gets in straight or gay communities, their lack of those terms could be seen as internalized biphobia.
Fortman mentioned that in preparing for the bi chat, he was surprised to find a lack of intersectional issues affecting the bi community, suggesting to him that the community was not at a point to form subgroups. He wondered out loud if the community's inclusiveness hindered its visibility. Depew floated a theory that bisexuality is hard to see partly because it's not visible in couple form: any member of a same or different-gendered couple could be bi.
When Fortman asked the women about possible next conversations for the bi movement, Depew discussed the difference in the level of bisexuality's acceptability in men and women. "It's bigger topics we need to talk about now," said McCue, who wants her organization's current focus to be more on community projects such as combating homelessness. In her experience, those with complex identities can feel alienated from the larger bi population.
"We've been talking about visibility for 20 years," said McCue, who marveled that an audience of Chicago bisexuals hadn't heard of BiNet, a leading bisexual organization.
She also recalled having conversations with GLAAD in 2011 and feeling that "they didn't know what bi [meant]." McCue felt the solution was increased collaboration across all LGBTQ communities. "A lot of groups don't talk to each other," she said. Depew wanted to see more bi characters in film and TV, and critiqued Orange Is the New Black for having a protagonist who is bi but not identified as such.
Yet at the end of the day, there's more to bisexuality than mere existence. "We focus on invisibility, but there's many things that are amazing about being wired as bi," Depew said.
Both Depew and McCue joked about having packed resumes and multifaceted careers as another possible aspect to their identity. Depew claimed to be "bi in every way," such as her career as both writer and performer. .
"I see more possibilities," Depew said.
"I think it's the wiring," McCue concurred.
*Corrections
The article "Change Chat Takes on Bisexuality" has been changed to reflect some corrections.
Adrienne McCue is the founder of the AJW foundation: Bi Social Network is a project of the AJW Foundation. Additionally, comments she made about GLAAD not understanding bisexuality were in reference to when she met with the organization in 2011. Her opinion has since changed.
The original article stated Marla Depew was "queer for ten years, and then came out as bisexual at age 28." This was a misinterpretation of what Depew said and was not her experience, as she came out at 28 as bi/queer. Furthermore, Depew felt this misinterpretation implied that her sexuality was a choice. She identifies as bi/queer, but embraced the term bisexual when she began dating her now-husband.
Both Depew and McCue feel that the bi+ label is an asset to the bisexual community. They think that if someone feels words like queer or pansexual fit their identity best, they should use that label (both labels fall under the bi+ umbrella.)
Windy City Times regrets the errors.