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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2020-05-13

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"Billy, you are a new find of mine. I'm now your biggest fan."—Paul Shaffer—yes, THAT Paul Shaffer—after showing up to surprise my guest, the legendary Darlene Love. Yet another typical episode of "Billy Masters LIVE!"

I'm not quite sure what I believe in—God, Karma, Buddha, Barbra. But occasionally, things happen that make even the most skeptical person believe in a higher power. I recently heard that televangelist ( and all-around sleazebag ) Jim Bakker was selling something he called "Silver Solution"—a small vial of liquid that he claimed would cure you of the coronavirus. I was shocked. I'm not sure why—surely this isn't much of a leap from someone who promised salvation in return for your credit-card number! The New York state attorney general ordered him to stop advertising the product. Then lawsuits were filed against him. And you know what happened to Jimbo this past weekend? He had a massive stroke. You know what might help? "Silver Solution!"

There's one thing we know for sure—all the money in the world can't help when you're being dragged offstage with your neck in the mouth of a tiger. That was my thought when we heard of Roy Horn's death. On April 28, it was reported that Roy tested positive for the coronavirus. In a statement over the weekend, partner Siegfried Fischbacher said, "Today, the world lost one of the greats of magic, but I have lost my best friend."

In a kinda-related story, it was just announced that Nicolas Cage will play Joe Exotic in a limited series based on Tiger King. Apparently, many actors were vying for the role, including Dax Shepard and Edward Norton. And just think—they settled for Nicolas Cage! Those other actors may get a chance to play the role anyway. We hear that Kate McKinnon will produce and star in a miniseries of her own based on the feline enthusiast.

I hate to be so dark with all these tragic stories, but this one grabbed my attention because it's so absurd. Obviously people are often killed after being run over by a car. But, this is the first time I've heard of someone dying after being run over by a plane! When a Southwest Airlines flight landed in Austin, it ran over a man without any sort of airport clearance or ID who was wandering around on the runway. I'm sure more details will follow.

This is the time of year when TV networks announce their upcoming season. One show that didn't make the cut was Fun, a comedy pilot ordered by CBS which would have reunited Ugly Betty co-stars Becki Newton and Michael Urie. Apparently the network didn't find it all that fun. CBS also cancelled Broke, Man with a Plan, Tommy and Carol's Second Act. But they did pick up a remake of The Equalizer, starring Queen Latifah.

You know what hasn't been cancelled? "Billy Masters LIVE!" As you saw in the opening quote, Paul Shaffer ( from The Late Show with David Letterman ) stopped by to surprise my special guest, Darlene Love. If you had told me I'd have either of these people on my show, I never would have believed you. We were also joined by beloved songwriter, Marc Shaiman. That show had a whole lotta musical folks surrounding a whole lotta love. With a good helping of gossip—'cause that's what we do! Check out our YouTube channel at Billy Masters TV.

On another show, I was joined by journalist Sue O'Connell to chat with legendary diver Greg Louganis. I surprised him with fellow Olympic diver Kent Ferguson. That show had a whole lotta abs! Didya know Greg Louganis has been DYING to be on Dancing with the Stars? And yet they've passed on him—even for the season devoted to athletes! And yet, "DWTS" has found room for such luminaries as Jerry Springer, Buzz Aldrin and Master P. We also unearthed the audition video Greg and Kent made for The Amazing Race—another show they haven't appeared on. But they both appeared with me—as you can see on BillyMasters.com/TV.

And like me, many people have come up with inventive ways to keep people entertained. I was tickled when I read that a restaurant in Michigan City, Indiana, hired drag queens to deliver food for curbside pickup. Fiddlehead Restaurant calls it "Dragside Pickup"! Before anyone accuses them of cultural appropriation ( a term I find revolting ), Fiddlehead is an LGBTQ-owned establishment.

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Terry in Chicago: "Did you see those photos of Lil Nas X in his hot tub?"

I must confess I didn't know anything about Lil Nas X's hot-tub photos until you mentioned them. Were they steamy? Sure, in that hot tub way. But they weren't as hot as the full-frontal nudes we have on BillyMasters.com .

When I have to worry about the coronavirus and tigers, it's time for me to end yet another column. And didn't I hear that someone allegedly caught it from a tiger? You don't think ... do you? While I look into this, you should check outBillyMasters.com—the site where you can read gossip and watch some great original programming. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Lil Nas posts photos of himself in a hot tub ... with a tiger! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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