"I didn't bother going to school. I just found my inner pussy."—Sir Ian McKellen explains how he prepared for his role as Gus the Theatre Cat in the film version of the musical Cats.
I have never been a paid spokesperson. Nobody has ever bought my endorsement—but I'm open to offers. Without exception, I tell you what I think and stand by my opinions. As you know, I'm constantly on the road. So when I saw a post-Thanksgiving flight from Boston to Miami for $14.37, I jumped first and asked questions later. I had never heard of Frontier Airlines, but for that price, what did I have to lose—other than my life? Of course, there was a blizzard in Boston on the day of departure. Perhaps an airline with a reputation wouldn't have risked it. But, God love those people at Frontier. We may have been delayed, but the employees were pleasant, the plane was decent and I got to Florida in one piece. When I checked in, I saw the breakdown of my fare. Most of my $14.37 was spent on fees and taxes. What Frontier Airlines actually made on my ticket was $0.02—you can't even buy a gumball for that price anymore! The day after the flight, I got an email from Frontier asking me to fill out a survey about my experience. Actually, what they said was, "We'd like your two cents." Definitely recommended.
After my brief stay in Florida, I had to dash to Los Angeles to co-host Sidebar with John Duran, on Channel Q Radio, which is syndicated around the country. ( You can hear the show on BillyMasters.com . ) The good thing about when I host something is I bring my own guests. I booked Jenifer Lewis, since she was appearing in Debbie Allen's "Hot Chocolate Nutcracker" gala the following night. And what a night it was. Shonda Rhimes donated a building to the Debbie Allen Dance Academy! And I learned Berry Gordy gave Debbie the first $50K to get started. As to the show, there was never such a "Nutcracker." Over 200 gorgeous kids danced, sang and acted their tails off. And speaking of tails, Jenifer Lewis played a rat! We were joined backstage by the young and restless Shemar Moore, who has a pretty hot tail himself. You must check out the photos at BillyMasters.com .
An old photo has surfaced of Pete Buttigieg raising money for the Salvation Army—he's even wearing the apron and ringing the bell! Turns out, the mayor has a long history of working with the group and actually held a mayoral event at the Salvation Army center in 2018. The organization has a long history of anti-gay stances. However, the Salvation Army has said it has "evolved" on some of its views. Instead of people finding fault with Mayor Pete over groups he has volunteered for, why not focus on the fact that he actually volunteers?! I dunno about you, but I sure ain't standing outside in the cold ringing a bell for NOBODY!
And now, time for more of "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions." Who doesn't love an ornament? And who doesn't love Broadway? You put those two things together and you get one of my favorite annual gifts—the Broadway Legends collectible ornament. Since 2008, Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS has raised money by featuring an iconic Broadway performer immortalized as a handmade glass ornament. For 2019, the honor goes to Angela Lansbury in the title role of Mame. You can grab this one at BroadwayCares.org .
A couple of months ago, I went to an event which featured celebrities playing the game You Don't Know My Life, which is described as "The TMI Party game with no wrong answers ... just #inappropriate ones." The game was created by my pal Dennis Hensley, with Jeb Havens, and is based on Hensley's experience of interviewing celebrities and asking odd questions to get them to tell offbeat stories. If you play this with the right people ( the night I was there, both Frank DeCaro and Melissa Peterman were playing ), it can be both hysterical and shocking. On that fateful night, I shared a long-forgotten story about me and Ben Stiller on an airplane—but I'll save that for another time. This is great to play with friends, both old and new. Grab it at YouDontKnowMyLifeGame.com .
Here's a first—this week's "Ask Billy" question comes from within my own organization! My proofreader Aaron wrote, "I just read about Jason Derulo's dick being censored online. So now I wanna see it."
Obviously I have the photo in question, but I didn't plan on running it. Why? They discussed this on The Talk. If I live by one rule of thumb, it's that there's no reason to share a story that has been discussed by Marie Osmond. But rules are made to be broken. Jason posted a photo where he was clad only in some tight-fitting black boxer briefs—briefs which showed a sizable tubular structure across the front. When a fan asked what was in there, Derulo said an "anaconda." Apparently harboring an animal in your undies is an Instagram no-no. The social media platform said the photo was "taken down for nudity or sexual activity." Jason shot back, "I can't help my size." When they discussed this on The Talk, someone wondered if it was discrimination. Why can you show a large-breasted woman in a tight T-shirt but not a large-penised man in tight undies? Food for thought. That food was a bit much for Instagram, but it's an all-you-can-eat buffet at BillyMasters.com .
When being big is bad, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Sigh—if I had a nickel for every time I was called too big ... well, I'd be flying Frontier Airlines forever! And I'd be updatingBillyMasters.com, the site where size is never an issue. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I tell you which celebrity mentioned in this week's column actually kissed my hand. Here's a hint—we have a nude photo of him on the website, too! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
