Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2020-05-27
About WCMG Publications News  Entertainment Features Donate Bars & Clubs Calendar Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage



Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

"Also, it's just nice to have toasted nuts."—Sexy Great British Bake Off contestant, David, who is an international health adviser and dabbles in pottery. And he can cook, too. He also has a boyfriend, Nick, who works in the fitness industry, but I'm trying not to dwell on that.

Prior to leaving Boston, I went to the new Saturday night gay hot spot, Legacy. Later, I was driving a friend home when we came upon one of those random field sobriety stops and were asked to pull over. In addition to being scantily clad, I should also mention that my companion was a very hot African American. I thought perhaps I was finally in a racially motivated incident and prepared to dial Gloria Allred but, alas, the cops couldn't have been nicer. ( Well, I guess they COULD have been. ) They walked me through the test and, lemme tell you—it's harder than it looks on TV. Nonetheless, I passed with flying colors. I also got a phone number, but that's another story.

I wasn't the only one who made out with the law ( literally ). Felicity Huffman had some luck during the sentencing for her part in the Operation Varsity Blues case. You'll recall that Felicity paid $15K to the Key Worldwide Foundation for someone to take the SATs for her daughter. How stupid. Never leave a paper trail—always use cash! You'd think someone who had been on Desperate Housewives would know better. Huffman admitted guilt, appeared remorseful and threw herself on the mercy of the court. The result? She was sentenced to 14 days in jail, $30K in fines and 250 hours of community service. I know I'm in the minority here, but why jail time? And I'm not singling Huffman out—why jail time for anyone? Skip jail ( which costs taxpayers ) and just increase the fine.

Someone who I'm sure is watching this case very closely is Lori Loughlin, who paid $500K to get her bratty daughter, Olivia Jade, into college ( where she probably attended classes for fewer than 14 days ). Given that Loughlin is not admitting guilt, is not repentant and is fighting the charges, her inevitable sentencing should be harsher. On a purely mathematical level, since Huffman got two weeks for $15K, Loughlin would be lucky to get 66 weeks in the pokey! Some are claiming that Lori is a secret genius—which is the only kinda genius she could be. Between her various motions and demands, heaven knows when her trial will begin. On the other hand, rumor has it that the pending litigation is taking a toll on her marriage—or, as I like to call it, a win/win.

Speaking of legal briefs, Aaron Schock dodged a bullet when the prosecutor dropped all criminal charges against him. Since I'm sure you're far more acquainted with his nude photos and videos ( all of which are mandatory viewing on ), let me remind you that he was accused of misusing taxpayer dollars for his office redecoration and travel for himself and "companions."

However, all is not dory for the hunky Schock. Last week, Aaron showed up at Revolver in West Hollywood. It happened to be karaoke night, hosted by local drag performer Jonnie Reinhart. So, let's break this down—a hot-but-closeted politician goes into a gay bar where a drag queen has a microphone. What could possibly go wrong? Reinhart decided to sing a song, which she introduced thusly: "This song is dedicated to someone who's in the audience and it goes out to anybody who votes against gay rights." Her choice was Lily Allen's "F You." Reinhart later said, "I figured he would get the message and I actually thought that he would just leave ... but he didn't."

Jonnie allegedly went up to Schock privately. "I explained to him why I was upset that he was there, why other people were upset that he was there, and I basically told him that he wasn't going to be welcomed in gay spaces until he began the process of apologizing and healing the harm that his actions have caused." Reinhart said, "Then he shared his experience of being publicly outed and he spoke about his family's reaction to him being gay." Details, please. Reinhart added, "He's actually no longer a public official, so it feels a bit slimy for me to say everything that he told me. Basically he told me his family's reaction was not positive—it was very bad. And he insisted that he wasn't looking for sympathy, and he said that he was working on putting out a statement."

Someone else who has been caught in flagrante delicto is the lovely Orlando Bloom. Earlier this month, he was on Howard Stern—well, he was on Howard's show. During the lengthy interview, the subject of those nude photos of him with Katy Perry came up ( up being the operative word, as you'll see on ). Orlando took a bit of bloom off the photos by saying, "It is really not that big. Things are expanded on camera with a big optical lens. It is an optical illusion." Well, I guess images could appear bigger in photos, but I'd really need to see it for myself.

Our "Ask Billy" question this week comes from Warren in San Francisco: "Did you see Ma? Nobody has mentioned it, but I'm sure I saw Luke Evans' penis when Octavia Spencer cut it off. Was it really his dick?"

At the time the film was released, Luke posted the following on social media: "So...who has seen @MAmovie? And is wondering about that know the one..." I didn't see it—the movie or the penis. So I went and looked for it—the movie and the penis. And I saw it—both. What pokes out from under the sheets is a rather substantial flaccid phallus. And it sure looked real to me. Decide for yourself on .

When we're wondering if it's live or is it Memorex, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Since we ran a bit long ( three penises will do that ), I barely have time to remind you to check out—the site that delivers a peck of peckers. If you have a question, send it along to and I promise to get back to you before footage of my sobriety test shows up on a very special episode of Cheaters! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-05-27 - "Hate and discrimination against LGBTQ+ people started long before Trump and Pence took office. Defeating them will not solve the problem, but it ...

Gay News

SHOWBIZ Rufus Wainwright, LGBTQ films, Billy Porter, Janelle Monae 2020-05-27 - Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright unveiled the latest single from his eagerly anticipated new pop album, Unfollow the Rules, a press release noted. "Alone ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-05-13 - "Billy, you are a new find of mine. I'm now your biggest fan."—Paul Shaffer—yes, THAT Paul Shaffer—after showing up to surprise my guest, ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-04-29 - "Wow. OK, that's really ignorant!"—Anderson Cooper's response when Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman said, "This isn't China. This is Las Vegas, Nevada." In ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-04-15 - "If you're gonna wear a mask—and you MUST wear a mask — it better say something."—Original "Dreamgirl" Sheryl Lee Ralph makes her entrance ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-04-01 - "Spend more time on your knees than on the internet."—Mike Pence shares his advice at a Christian school. I'm not sure what one ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-03-17 - "You're full of shit. I support the Second Amendment. I'm not taking your gun away. I did not say that."—Joe Biden responds to ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-03-03 - "They think I'm fucking dumb. I'm literally painted out to be this big, dumb idiot." - Pete Davidson says what he believes his ...

Gay News

MUSIC Mykal Kilgore: Out singer on NAACP award nod, $2 wine and Billy Porter 2020-02-19 - Mykal Kilgore definitely marches to the beat of his drum. The singer certainly possesses talent ( as witnessed by his current NAACP Image ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2020-02-19 - "I thought, 'Why does he have to do that?' I mean, it seemed like he was living a fine life. Everyone who knew ...


Copyright © 2020 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.







About WCMG Publications News  Entertainment Features Donate Bars & Clubs Calendar Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.