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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2019-08-20

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"I don't know if you noticed or not, but there's a bit of an age difference between the two of us. But on this cruise, nobody gives a shit."—Katharine McPhee's quip about her marriage to David Foster while performing on the inaugural VACAYA cruise to Provincetown. The second night, she had a message to critics—"Go fuck yourself." Message received.

Tom Brady is known for being pretty fit and not particularly bright. In the September issue of Men's Health, he reveals his disappointment when one of his sons showed no interest in sports: "When Benny came along, I thought he'd be just like Jack [his older son]. So I was like, "C'mon, let's do this.' And he was like, 'Nope.' And I was like, 'What? No, do this!'"—which gives you an idea of the scintillating banter going on in the Brady household. He continued: "And Gisele kept saying to me, 'Would you effing understand that your son is different?' It was hard for me. I was like, 'What do you mean? He's a boy; he should just do all these things that I do.' The reality is that Benny just likes different things. And it's great because now I just have to go do what he wants to do. When we do that, we have the best time. He's like, 'OMG, Dad, you're so funny.'" Yeah, that Tom Brady is a laugh riot!

What's not funny is sexual assault. But in the current climate where career-ending accusations come fast and furious, where does due process fit in? Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Case in point—Don Lemon. According to reports, he was in Sag Harbor last July and had an encounter with bartender Dustin Hice, who is suing for unspecified damages stemming from emotional pain and loss of earnings. Hice was working at a bar called Murf's. According to his statement, Hice "tried to get Mr. Lemon's attention and offered to buy Mr. Lemon a drink." Don apparently declined. Later, Hice claims that Lemon "put his hand down the front of his own shorts, and vigorously rubbed his genitalia, removed his hand and shoved his index and middle finger in Plaintiff's moustache and under Plaintiff's nose." He then asked Hice, "Do you like pussy or dick?" The "attack" has left Mr. Hice with "feelings of shame, humiliation, anxiety, anger, and guilt."

Reports indicate that Hice asked Lemon for $1.5 million not to file the suit. Lemon ( again ) declined. Hice then posted a photo standing in front of CNN headquarters with the caption, "touring the #CNN center today...or as #Trump would say, 'the home of Fake News' lol." As for the network, CNN is standing by Don Lemon, stating, "The plaintiff in this lawsuit has previously displayed a pattern of contempt for CNN on his social media accounts. This claim follows his unsuccessful threats and demands for an exorbitant amount of money from Don Lemon. Don categorically denies these claims and this matter does not merit any further comment at this time."

This leads into yet another Fayewatch which, of course, is connected with Dunaway's disastrous Boston run of the play Tea at Five. This story isn't about Faye being fired; it's about Faye firing her assistant. According to documents filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, Michael Rocha began working as Faye's personal assistant April 5 and was paid $1,500/week. He would do her shopping, remind her to take her meds, plan her schedule and get her to places on time—so now we know who to blame. He claims that Faye called him "a little homosexual boy" and referred to people around her as "little gay people." We don't have to take his word for it—the little one recorded Faye making the offensive comments. He went to the general manager and production's lawyer. In short order he was fired, being told that Faye "is not comfortable with you anymore." He is suing for unspecified damages. Faye Dunaway—the gift that keeps on giving.

During my latest trip to Provincetown, I spent some time at the Ptown Art House with my pals, Well-Strung. Unlike previous years when they've been in town for the whole season, this was a one-week run. The show was kinda like their greatest hits, which was okay with me. My favorite boys playing all my favorites. What's not to like?

Also at the Art House was the luminous Liz Callaway—who has seemingly stopped time. Beyond the brilliant sheen of her voice, there is a winsome, urgent quality which draws you in. And then there's her brilliant way of connecting with lyrics and touching your soul. All in all, it may have been one of the most perfect shows I've seen in eons. Catch her whenever you have the chance and check out PtownArtHouse.com for other concerts and events.

It's definitely time for me to take a nap and end yet another column. This week, I had more stories than I could include in print. Happily, you can read all the latest dish atBillyMasters.com—the site that'll have you coming back for seconds. We didn't have room for an "Ask Billy" question, but you can ask me anything you want. Just send an e-mail to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Faye plays Ptown. So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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