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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2019-07-10

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"Do you know what? I've been giving that some thought recently because a couple of other parents said that to me as well. I think, you really don't start thinking about that until you are a parent, and I think — obviously absolutely fine by me."—Prince William's response to the question of how he'd react if one of his children said they were gay.

Never let it be said that I can't admit when I'm wrong. I was wrong in print and TV. But it's not my fault. I blame Anderson Cooper. The silver fox told Howard Stern five years ago that he would not be inheriting money from his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt. Cooper said, "My mom's made clear to me that there's no trust fund. There's none of that. I don't believe in inheriting money. I think it's an initiative sucker." Aside from her Midtown apartment ( which goes to Coop's brother, Leopold "Stan" Stokowski ), the rest of Gloria's estate goes to Anderson. And that is estimated to be roughly $200 million. In other words, that's a lot of sucking.

On the other hand, I will shout from the highest rooftop that I was right about the case between Kevin Spacey and the Nantucket barback. I previously said that Spacey would get off ... in the legal sense. To briefly recap, three years ago Kevin is said to have attempted to get an 18-year-old busboy off—in the physical sense. He allegedly plied Will Little with drinks in the Nantucket establishment where he works. All the while, Will was texting his girlfriend the blow-by-blow ( in the metaphorical sense ). Shortly thereafter, Little's mother went public, police got involved, and charges were filed. I hasten to add that I believe every aspect of this story so far. To support their case, the family presented screencaps of select text messages, and the police also examined the phone. Spacey's team claimed the only way to determine what really happened was to see ALL of the messages. They asked to examine the phone. The family said it was "missing." The court ruled the phone had to materialize by July 8. On July 5, the family dropped the civil suit. Hmm. With the civil case dropped, Spacey still had to hear the disposition of the criminal charges on July 8. I believe those charges will also be dropped. I certainly ain't saying Spacey is innocent, but he will get off ( physically and metaphorically ).

Some folks who ain't getting off are the owners of Jack'd, who've been ordered to pay more than $240K for leaking users' private pics. Not only that, but it's being reported that the company "knowingly leaked" the photos. Apparently, a company employee reported the breach last year. The company did nothing about it until that employee went public. Suddenly, the breach was solved. I noticed a tiny detail in the coverage—the breach affected the app's 2,000 users. That's all? 2K? I don't mind being a big fish in a small pond, but that's a puddle!

Meanwhile in P-town, I was busy with the sun, sand, surf, and studs in skivvies. Call me old-fashioned, but over July 4, I consider myself a patriot—as much of a patriot as those brave soldiers who stormed the airports and took to flight during the War of Independence. Someone I'd never war with is the gorgeous Gavin Creel, who was at the P-town Art House courtesy of Seth Rudetsky. The show was a delight—you can always tell when Seth has a personal relationship with his guest. This was effortless—like Gavin's mellifluous range. Seth has a cavalcade of guests stopping by all summer long, so check out PTownArtHouse.com for the latest schedule.

Then there's Varla Jean Merman, who never disappoints ... even when she's bored. Yes, this year's show is called "A Star is Bored" and, trust me, you'll be anything but. The songs, the costumes, the video, the cheese—it's all there. Varla even pays homage to those who came before her—so it's almost educational. Catch it before it turns up on your local PBS station during Pledge Week! Get your tix early at PTownArtHouse.com because she's got a limited schedule and is selling out each and every show.

To continue promoting Billy Masters' Fabulous Friends, congrats go out to the insanely talented Sam Harris. The film version of his stage show "HAM—A Musical Memoir" will premiere at Outfest in Los Angeles on July 23. I'm told the film is gorgeous and, of course, Sam is incandescent. You can snag tix at Outfest.org .

Time for our weekly Schocking Story. Aaron Schock—I know you all secretly lust after him solely as a sex object. And I'm gonna give you about nine more reasons to want him. Yes, we've featured a few dozen nude photos of him from every conceivable angle. But the latest clips we've received are from video chats that feature him full-frontal ( including face ), fully aroused, shaking his money maker in your ... well, face. At this point, I think I've got less footage of actual gay porn stars! You can take him all in—metaphorically—at BillyMasters.com .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Mark in Boston: "Rapper Lil Nas X has come out as gay this week. This is a big deal, as he is a big star. Do you have any nudes of him? He must be on a gay website somewhere."

I believe the timing of Nas' coming out actually connects to nudes. On June 23, the rapper tweeted, "Can't believe my nudes leaked wtf." Then he came out, which as we say in the media biz "changed the narrative." Unless, of course, you're Billy Masters—I ain't so easily distracted. BTW, Nas ain't so lil, as you'll see on BillyMasters.com .

When I'm linking Lil Nas X to the Jack'd breach, it's definitely time to end another column. Look at that—I tied it all together. I pulled it off—both metaphorically and physically. You can get a bit of both by checking out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that'll lead to some pulling of your own. If you have a question for me, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before anyone else takes the Old Town Road. So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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