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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"You can't just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women. There must be some standards, and having a penis and competing as a woman would not fit that standard."—Martina Navratilova expresses her thoughts on competition rules evolving to accommodate trans tennis players. It sounds like a sequel to Battle of the Sexes.

I'm going into this year's awards season somewhat perplexed. Not to say I didn't enjoy the Golden Globes—but not to say I did. Let's start by talking about Timothée Chalamet. Question: Should we credit Adam Rippon with making harnesses acceptable awards-show attire? 'Cause he is the first person I recall wearing a harness—and, perhaps, the last. Chalamet insists he was not wearing a harness. "I thought it was a bib," the actor told Ellen. This begs the question—a bib? Really, Timmy? And not just any bib, but a sequined bib. And that's where I'm confused—I thought perhaps he was paying homage to The Sound of Music by wearing lederhosen!

Days before the Globes, Darren Criss talked about how he will no longer play gay roles. "I want to make sure I won't be another straight boy taking a gay man's role," said the 31-year-old. However, fellow Golden Globe winner Ben Whishaw said, "I think there needs to be greater equality. I would like to see more gay actors playing straight roles." So, riddle me this: If gay actors are playing the gay roles AND the straight roles, what on Earth will Darren Criss do for a living? On second thought, don't answer that.

Am I the only one who didn't know Darren is Filipino? He proclaimed himself the first Filipino-American to win a Golden Globe. Is that true? Has someone done genetic testing on all previous winners? Are the Golden Globes in bed with Perhaps, like gays, Criss is the first OPENLY Filipino-American to win a Golden Globe. Turns out Andrew Cunanan was Filipino-American, so maybe it's a win-win. But I'll have to run this by Whishaw.

Apropos of being awarded the first-ever Carol Burnett Award at the Golden Globes, a friend told me of an interesting chat he had with Miss Burnett a couple of years ago. Carol has claimed she's never been invited to host Saturday Night Live. Can we do something about that?

As you know, several male models are accusing Bruce Weber of sexual assault. One of those models, Jason Boyce, is suing the shutterbug for "soliciting sex in exchange for work." Bruce then struck back with a memorandum of law in opposition and provided some intriguing evidence—texts from Boyce that include both nude and semi-nude photos. What's fascinating is that many of these texts were sent AFTER the incident Boyce is suing over! So now, Weber is claiming that he was the one being solicited by Boyce!

Last week, gay-porn impresario Michael Lucas made some news. First, it was announced that he will retire from "performing" in 2020. "Porn stars come and go, but the best ones stay in our memories and on our hard drives for a long time until they fade away," said his publicist, Len Evans. But it was the next statement that raised more than a few eyebrows: "Michael is also in search of a co-author to publish a juicy autobiography that will include a steamy chapter about a few top Hollywood celebs who paid him to have sex with them when he was an escort in the late '90s." Let's gloss over the difference between a co-author and a publisher—naming names got my attention. That is, until Lucas retracted the story and fired Evans.

I am thrilled by news of the return of NYPD Blue—especially since the new show will include PPA John Irvin, once again played by my dear friend Bill Brochtrup. When he made the announcement on Facebook, I said that the time had certainly come for him to bare his bottom. I mean, if it was good enough for Dennis Franz and John Wesley Shipp, why not? Brochtrup said, "Yeah, keep that rumor alive." Darling, that's what I do.

Next week sees the return of Celebrity Big Brother—and the return of Julie Chen ( Moonves ) to CBS. Her tweet about being back on the set brought mixed responses. Many were happy, while others asked why hubby Les wasn't in prison. But, I know what you're all interested in—who's competing. I suspect my readers will be partial to Jonathan Bennett, Joey Lawrence and Ryan Lochte. Others in the house include Tamar Braxton, Kandi Burruss, Dina Lohan, Anthony Scaramucci and even Kato Kaelin. This should be fun.

Since I was in Fort Lauderdale last week, I got to see Seth Rudetsky launch his seventh Broadway Concert Series at the Parker Playhouse with Tony winner Jessie Mueller. I have been a fan of Mueller's since she really burst on the scene as Carole King in Beautiful, but I was completely unprepared for the range of her experience ... and voice. The concert was a great way to kick off the season, which will continue Feb. 8 with Sierra Boggess and the insanely attractive Ramin Karimloo. Get your tix at .

Could it be that a certain stud celebrated a bit too hard at the Golden Globes? So say my spies, who say the dazzling dude ( more known for TV than film ) was beyond bombed and made several unwarranted passes to a bespectacled former co-star. Thanks to the quick thinking of his mouthpiece, he didn't make a jackass of himself ... again!

When men are making passes at co-stars in glasses, it's time to end yet another column. With awards season in full swing, keep up-to-date—the site known for swingers. If you have a question, send it along to and I promise to get back to you. Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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