"That's about the gayest thing I have ever heard. You and Viggo Mortensen should get a hotel room and suck each other's dicks!"—Judge John Hallett in LeRay Town Court, New York, responds to an attorney who was promoting a film festival honoring Mortensen. A formal complaint was filed against the judge, who resigned in exchange for all charges being dropped.
I've got way too much to share with you this week, so I'm gonna dive right in. I must make a confession—I've loved Arnetia Walker since I saw her getting screwed doggie-style by Ray Sharkey in Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills. I know—that's a lot to take in. ( That's what she said! ) So when the prolific Stan Zimmerman told me she was starring in his and Christian McLaughlin's play Yes, Virginia at The Complex in Hollywood, I had to go. Problem was, I had no free time. I couldn't go to a preview—I had to bake lemon bars for a holiday party. I couldn't go to the opening night because I had my Well-Strung boys in their Christmas Show at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center. ( It was great, it was fabulous; we'll come back to them in the "Gift Giving" section. )
The only possible time I could go was the Sunday matinee. But it was gonna be tight since I was escorting Jenifer Lewis to "Divas Simply Singing" at 5 p.m. The play was at 3 p.m., and it was 90 minutes long. So I'd have time to meet and greet and do whatever else one does when meeting someone who you've seen getting screwed doggie-style. ( In addition to the sexual act, what makes that moment particularly memorable is Arnetia's comedic timing ... as you'll see on BillyMasters.com . ) I loved the play, and Arnetia was a dream. In fact, she holds the distinction of having played virtually every part in Dreamgirls—possibly including James "Thunder" Early! She is a versatile powerhouse who honed her skills in the theatre and took them to the big and small screen. She stars alongside Mindy Sterling, who I also love but I never saw get fucked in any position. ( Why do I keep harping on this? ) It was a privilege to see them both in this terrific play and in an intimate theater. It runs through Dec. 30.
I then zipped over to "Divas" where, child, it was just pandemonium. Those people want their Jenifer Lewis, and they want her now. But, if they wanted a photo, they had to buy the book. ( The purple paperback of "The Mother of Black Hollywood" makes a GREAT Christmas gift. ) Jenifer sang. She carried on. She did some high kicks. She did everything you'd expect her to do ... and more. We had a blast. And Sheryl Lee Ralph—well, what can one say? She pulls it all off so gorgeously and glamorously and generously. It was a great night, on every level.
I then zipped to NYC and saw some fabulous Broadway plays—including Michael Urie in Torch Song—all of which I'll review on BillyMasters.com . From there, I dashed back to Boston long enough to drop my luggage off at the ancestral Masters Manor and sprint four blocks to see Darlene Love perform at Medford's Chevalier Theatre. And what a show it was. The 77-year-old legend has a voice which is quite simply a gift from God. And it's a gift that keeps on giving, particularly around the holidays. Not satisfied with singing Christmas carols ( including her signature "Christmas ( Baby Please Come Home )" ), we also got many of Love's classic and newer hits—a great way to get into the holiday spirit.
Remember a couple of weeks ago I told you the president of Grindr said he believes marriage is between a man and a woman? I predicted heads would roll—and they did. Landon Rafe Zumwait, the head of communications for the company, resigned in protest, saying, "As an out and proud gay man madly in love with a man I don't deserve, I refused to compromise my own values or professional integrity to defend a statement that goes against everything I am and everything I believe in." BTW, Landon is really hot. Kinda makes you wanna see a photo of his beau.
I also recently told you that Antoni Porowski, from Queer Eye, was whispered to be dating Trace Lehnhoff, formerly of Flipping Out. Well, they just made their liaison official with a social-media post. Around the same time, we got word that the ridiculously hot Antoni had shot a potential photo spread ( so to speak ) for Calvin Klein underwear. Some of the photos briefly surfaced on the photographer's Instagram page, but then were yanked. Happily, you can yank away to your heart's content 'cause we've got the snaps on BillyMasters.com .
Little Cheyenne Jackson has had a holiday release. No, we're not talking about his infamous yanking video. This is a single called "Plans," and he's joined by Catey Shaw. ( I don't know, so don't ask me. ) If you're so inclined, you can listen to it on our website—where you can still see the video of him being a ho-ho-ho.
That leads us to the final installment of "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions." This week—you guessed it—we're focusing on music. Since I mentioned them earlier, one of my favorite collections comes from Well-Strung. The singing string quartet recently released Under the Covers, which I believe is some of their best work. It is a collection of pop songs fused with well-known classical pieces. Definitely check them out at Well-Strung.com .
If you want holiday music, my Broadway buddies Julia Murney and Max von Essen ( who I told you will be headlining the upcoming national tour of "Falsettos" ) recorded "O Holy Night" last year as a benefit for Covenant House. It's really gorgeous, and I believe the money still goes to the organization. So grab it on Amazon for $0.99.
And since I mentioned Darlene Love earlier, here's something I didn't know—in addition to the legendary The Phil Spector Christmas Album, she also recorded It's Christmas, Of Course a few years back. This isn't your typical holiday CD—you won't find a classic carol here. These are all rock songs from people like James Brown, Stevie Wonder and Tom Petty. It's a rockin' Christmas collection—definitely worth picking up.
When I'm dreaming of divas and dicks, it's definitely time to end yet another column. With the holidays fast upon us, you could find yourself needing a last-minute gift. Might I suggest a membership toBillyMasters.com—the site that'll keep you yanking all year long. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Santa stuffs your stocking—doggie-style. So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
