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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2018-10-17

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"Shit, I'm attracted to everything."—Jake Choi expresses his sexual orientation. If only I could place him. If only I could place him, although the nudes on BillyMasters.com sure look familiar.

Melania Trump recently declared, "I'm the most bullied person in the world"—a statement that has some credence. To put it into context, the day she made this statement happened to be the 20th anniversary of the murder of Matthew Shepard—a young gay boy who was beaten and left to die in Laramie, Wyoming. In a twist that further connects these two stories, it was announced on this sad anniversary that his ashes will be interred at Washington's National Cathedral. Yes, that Washington—within sight of the place Melania occasionally hangs her pith helmet.

Actress Yvette Nicole Brown was filling in for Joy Behar on The View last week. On Oct. 12, reporter Tom Llamas was promoting his sit-down with Melania. One of the topics was the accusations of infidelity against Mr. Trump. Yvette said, "Is it possible that she's not concerned with his mistresses because she was one of them?" The response from the White House was swift. A spokesperson for the First Lady said, "Check your facts before you accuse someone of being a mistress. She's your @FLOTUS—she deserves your respect & certainly not your lies. Disgusting." Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted, "Sad @TheView continues their disgusting attacks on @FLOTUS. The left's 'war on women' they disagree with is a disgrace. @FLOTUS is strong, accomplished, and has a lot more class than the women who bully her." Yvette said, "I stand by every word I said. My mom taught me that respect is earned. And, thankfully, we live in a nation—at least for now—where I don't have to bow down to dear leader or his third wife." She added, "My views are my own. And I own every one."

Last week was the Point Honors Los Angeles 2018 Gala. As you know, the Point Foundation is America's largest scholarship-granting organization for LGBTQ students of merit. Oodles of gays were on hand, including Greg Louganis, Adam Shankman and Thomas Dekker ( who gets sexier as he gets older ). The evening featured a mini-concert by Leona Lewis that was spectacular. But the highlight was the award presentations. First honoree was Steven Canals, creator of Pose, who acknowledged all those whose shoulders we stand on. The next honoree was Eric McCormack, who was introduced by Cheyenne Jackson. When Eric took to the stage, the two kissed on the lips—not the first time ( obviously ). Video of the speech and the kiss can be found on BillyMasters.com .

Congratulations go out to actor BD Wong, who married Richert Schnorr in Brooklyn. Fun fact: The two met in 2010 at a singles mixer that was sponsored by an online dating app.

One of the people at BD's wedding was Rosie O'Donnell. The night before, she returned to stand-up comedy and made a bit of news. She announced that Lady Gaga would headline a Broadway revival of Funny Girl and that she, Rosie O'Donnell, would play her mother. Nobody else has said a word about this project, but I suppose anything is possible. It should be noted that while not a prerequisite, Fanny Brice is somewhere in her late teens when the show begins. Barbra was all of 21 years old when she made the part her own. Gaga is 32, and this production will surely take a few years to happen. By then, she may be more likely to be cast as Mrs. Strakosh!

Tilda Swinton's got some tongues wagging due to her appearance in the remake of Suspiria ( directed by Luca Guadagnino, who previously helmed Call Me By Your Name ). In it, she plays Madame Blanc, the head of a dance studio in Berlin. She also plays Dr. Jozef Klemperer, an elderly Jewish psychiatrist. Being an actress' actress, Tilda decided that while inhabiting the person of Dr. Klemperer, she would wear what she calls "a weighty set of genitalia." She had the false phallus custom-made for her, "so that she could feel it dangling between her legs."

I do hate when friends of mine are embroiled in a scandal. But I will put on my impartial journalist cap and tell you about Chris Marchant, the hunky violinist in Well-Strung ( who also strutted his stuff on The Amazing Race ). The group is typically in summer residency at Provincetown's Art House. Marchant, who is no stranger to showing skin in snaps, posted a photo taken in a Provincetown cemetery that features his shirtless torso leaning against an obelisk with the caption, "Can't wait to get back to Ptown for Halloween and to help with the launch weekend of @ptownbrewingco."

Well, people were outraged—not about the post, but about the photo. One person said, "Someone wasn't buried there for you to take an abs pic"—although I suppose it depends on the person. Frankly, I wouldn't mind Marchant's sexy skin leaning against my erect obelisk—but that's another story. Initially, Chris was defensive—as one is wont to do. Then, after the story went viral, he deleted the post saying, "While it was never my intention to offend, I understand that it was disrespectful to take such a picture against a memorial to the life of someone I never knew. I deleted it, because the point of the post was to help a friend, and I would never want for my personal actions or words to harm the efforts of anyone else. I apologize for any offense I caused." That wasn't hard ... or was it? You can decide for yourself when you see the pic on BillyMasters.com .

When we're featuring a couple of stiffs in a cemetery, it's definitely time to end yet another column. It's apropos with all this cemetery nonsense that Halloween is just around the corner. And although I'll be headed to New Orleans ( after working on my tan at the Filth2Go Beach House in Fort Lauderdale ), I can quickly remind you to check out BillyMasters.com—the site that can even raise the dead! Should you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Melania goes anywhere near Donald's obelisk! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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