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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2018-09-19

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"Makeup. Five pounds of makeup."—Cher explained why she looks so good in Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again. She added, "Also the director really liked me. I think he took extra special care to light me." As it should be.

There is a routine to Sunday nights. After toiling away on the column for days, I send it off to the various gay and alternative publications around the world with the good sense to carry my scribblings, post it online to BillyMasters.com and doze off close to dawn. When I awoke from my slumber this past week, I found two incredibly different emails. First was an email with the subject "Great Column"—which always warms the cockles of, well, my cockles. The second email had the subject "Your sad comments about Neil Patrick Harris." The writer was upset that I dared to question the masculinity of NPH, but apparently had no problem with NPH disparaging drag and trans people everywhere. It should be stated that both of these emails were well-written, thoughtful and articulate. And they both got an immediate response from moi. At least they're reading.

We're hearing about more guest stars for the upcoming season of Will & Grace. David Schwimmer is in about five episodes as Grace's boyfriend. Chelsea Handler turns up as a power lesbian ( so much for the "only-gay-people-can-play-gay-roles" argument ). Jon Cryer is in a Jack/Karen storyline. Thank God Minnie Driver returns as Karen's nemesis Lorraine Finster. In the same episode, we're told Adam Rippon makes a cameo as himself. ( I'm thinking he could be a potential date for Jack; after all, he already slept with Rudy Galindo. ) And in the biggest news, Will gets a boyfriend—Matt Bomer. Sigh, the hot gays always hook up with straight guys.

When last we left Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham, the actor filed for divorce from the florist after six months of marital bliss. That was back in May. So where are we now? Still in limbo. Leatham was seen visiting Haynes in Vancouver on the set of Arrow in July to celebrate Colton's 30th birthday. The two flew back to LA together, still wearing their wedding bands.

According to one of those "unnamed sources," "they aren't officially back together but they are trying to figure things out and headed in that direction. They are spending time together and really want it to work out. They love and care about each other immensely and would love to find a way to make it work. They aren't rushing to make it official and are just taking their time working on their relationship. Things are a lot better and it's going well for them." Am I the only one who thinks this anonymous source is Leatham? And why is it every time I type his name, I type "Leatherman?" Freudian slip, no doubt. Gus Kenworthy confirmed the couple's relationship status: "I mean, I don't know if it's really my place to speculate. I believe he told me that they're working on things. I think that they're in a good place. I don't know if they're back together or if they're not going to be together, but I think that they're in a good place." That cleared up ... absolutely nothing!

Someone who I suspect doesn't mind getting a dick or two in his inbox is Andy Cohen. It was an interesting week for Mr. Cohen. First, he had a story in the United Kingdom's Attitude magazine, in which he spoke openly about his sex life, including the use of poppers and bottoms. ( They kinda go hand in hand. ) After saying he's been out since 1988, he added, "I was always out in my career so there was a freedom to that, and I've always been outspoken, and gay people say they connect with that and it makes me happy, too."

At the same time, the National Enquirer had a story allegedly exposing "Andy Cohen's Internet X-Ploits." I'll save you the four-plus dollars and tell you what it said. The Enquirer claims to have found Cohen's Grindr profile, which is plausible. Andy admits to being on Tinder and also "a gay dating app." But apparently each time he sets up an account, he's kicked off because the powers think he's impersonating Andy Cohen—as if!

Anonymous sources who claim to have hooked up with him on Grindr claim that he's interested in younger men. SHOCKING! One man said, "Andy once used his celebrity to woo a young man, then discarded him like trash once he was finished. He's very selfish and has a voracious sexual appetite." Um, that describes virtually everyone I know! The insider added, "Andy made it clear he wanted no part of kissing or affectionate touching—only no-strings-attached sex." I believe you have to agree to that just to sign onto Grindr! Andy allegedly has a thing for "redheads, young ginger boys. He lusts over Prince Harry and once admitted to wanting Justin Bieber." Again, virtually everyone I know. In fact, I think he's admitted all of this on his show. YAWN!

In a few weeks, tens of thousands of gays will descend on Anaheim. It's once again time for Gay Days Anaheim. The annual event ( which I helped found ) takes place Oct. 5-7, Columbus Day weekend. There are oodles of special performers sprinkled throughout the weekend, including Garrett Clayton headlining the Saturday night Kingdom dance party! Check out the full schedule at GayDaysAnaheim.com .

Our brief "Ask Billy" question is more of a statement from one of our esteemed proofers. Nate in Key West says, "Did you see Steve Howey on the season premiere of Shameless? WOW—he should always be naked."

Howey does enjoy his nudity—and, thankfully, Shameless does, too! Seems to me that during his hiatus, Steve did nothing but work out—he clearly isn't eating! During the scene in question, he says he's so hard, he can hold up a bath towel without his hands. You can see how he does it on BillyMasters.com .

When I'm on the lookout for my own Shameless towel rack, it's time to end another column. Because the Emmys are on a Monday this year, you'll know who won by the time you read this column. But if there's any inside dish, you'll read about it onBillyMasters.com—the site that's known for poking around. Whatever your point of view, feel free to send your comments to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Howey pokes someone's eye out! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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