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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"Hands down, Justin Timberlake. 'Cause if we wanna talk about big..."—Patricia Clarkson when asked, "Who had your biggest chance of being your friend with benefits on the set of Friends with Benefits?" Needless to say, Andy Cohen's follow-up question was, "He's gifted below the waist?" Clarkson said, "Oh, yes!"

As we go to press, almost 600 women were arrested at a sit-in at the Senate building protesting the government's immigration policy. Among those charged with "unlawfully demonstrating" was actress Susan Sarandon—something I find quite ironic. Not that I think she swung the election, but she was vocally against Hillary Clinton. I agree that we shouldn't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils," but here's what happens when you don't.

The first daughters marked Pride Month in very different ways. Tiffany Trump shared videos of herself attending the NYC Pride Parade with her best friend, fashion designer Andrew Warren. She even donned a Pride-themed ensemble, complete with glitter. On the flip side, Ivanka donated $50,000 to an anti-gay megachurch. The Prestonwood Baptist Church in Texas is headed by Pastor Jack Graham—a member of Trump's Religious Advisory Council. He also has a history of anti-LGBT activism. His arguments come down to a single statement he has made repeatedly: "The biblical design of marriage is clear: a man and a woman living and loving together in a monogamous relationship in the image of God." Yet somehow he supports Trump, that paragon of monogamy!

It's been two years since The Go-Go's said farewell to touring at LA's Greek Theatre. But they never said they wouldn't get together for something special. So they played Oakland and San Diego to warm up for three nights at the legendary Hollywood Bowl. As a purist, I wasn't interested in seeing The Go-Go's augmented by the Los Angeles Philharmonic—as fabulous as they are. I wanted a real show, so I trekked to Oakland's glamorous Fox Theatre, which was filled to capacity—prompting Belinda Carlisle to quip, "Wow, there sure are a lot of you out there!" What made these shows noteworthy was the return of bassist Kathy Valentine, who unwillingly left the group in 2012. I was excited at the prospect of seeing the classic Go-Go's lineup reunited. Alas, my plans were thwarted. Drummer Gina Schock had surgery on her arm, so she had to sit out these shows. But she still showed up to introduce the band, joined by temporary replacement drummer Chris Arredondo. The Go-Go's shook things up by doing several songs they haven't done for years—if ever. "Here You Are" is a highlight of the Broadway musical based on The Go-Go's catalogue, Head Over Heels." Charlotte mentioned they've never performed it live and hoped for the best, while Jane cautioned the band, "Don't fuck it up." Check it out on .

Speaking of the Hollywood Bowl, the season opened with a concert by the Supreme Lady, Miss Ross. Due to the presence of an orchestra, Diana eschewed her typical live show repertoire and, instead, dug deep into her extensive back catalogue. Although she tinkered with the set, the medley of the "Theme from Mahogany" and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" was still intact—complete with ever-present "Do you know, do you know, DO YOU KNOOOOOW!" So, here's something you may not know—the Bowl seats more than 17,000 people, so most of the audience is watching the giant monitors. Curiously, Ross specifically instructed the Bowl personnel to not get any close-ups on her face. Thank heavens one of our fans filmed the whole show, which you can see on our website.

While all that merriment is happening on the West Coast, your beloved Billy has touched down in Boston and is heading down to Provincetown for July 4. People always ask me what shows they should see each summer in Ptown, so here are my picks: My favorite venues are The Ptown Art House and The Crown & Anchor. I would definitely suggest starting there and working your way down. Eventually, you'll bump into me!

The Cher Show just opened at the Oriental Theatre in Chicago and essays the career of Cher through use of her songs. Because Cher invented reinvention, three actresses play the diva. However, special kudos must go to Emily Skinner, who plays Cher's mom. Her performance was the one thing Cher liked most when she slipped in to see the musical. As for what she thought of the resrt of the show, she said, "Some parts of it are really fabulous. We're going to work on the other parts. In many parts, it was much, much better than I thought it would be. And there were no parts where I wanted to gouge my eyes out. It needs work. I'm not supposed to say that, but I don't care." And that, in short, is why we love Cher. Hopefully, everything is ironed out by the Broadway opening on Dec. 3.

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Mark in Miami: "First, we REALLY miss having you in print in Florida! Could you work on that? Second, have you seen that alleged dick video of Chris Hemsworth? Is it real?"

First, thank you—write to Hot Spots. We parted on the best of terms, but the person who briefly was calling the shots wanted to shake things up—and then he resigned. Coincidence? Who can say. But I would love to be back. I'd also love if that video is really Chris Hemsworth. Alas, my brain tells me it isn't him. I just don't know why he would film this slow reveal of an erect penis. But it's such a hot video, I'll post it on and you can decide for yourself.

When we're asking the real Hemsworth to please stand up ( 'cause after having him, you won't be able to sit down ), it's definitely time to end yet another column. If you can't get to the fireworks outside, I'm sure something will erupt when you check out—the site that may be delivering a fully erect Hemsworth. If not, you'll still see Cher arrive at her own musical, Diane screw up the lyrics to "Amazing Grace" ( she covers by humming ) and The Go-Go's performing with Valentine. If you have a question, send it to and I promise to get back to you before I bump into Tiffany Trump in Ptown! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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Billy Masters 2019-06-19 - "Gay liberation? I ain't against it. It's just that there's nothing in it for me!"—Bette Davis Picture it—Dallas, sometime in the late '90s. ...


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