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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"You know, and I will get fired for this, but I'm never going to say that I don't. I will get fired for that. By the way, they're both pretty substantial, I think."—Donald Trump Jr. answers Adam Carolla's question, "When you and your pops are in the shower, who's got the bigger package?" In the first place, who is in the shower looking at their father's penis? In the second place, ICK!

Last week, the Point Foundation held a gala in NYC. In case you don't know, this organization provides scholarships to members of the LGBTQ community—often after they have been ostracized by their families. This gala not only celebrated Point scholars and alumni, but also recognized leaders in the LGBTQ community. The person who got the most attention was Ronan Farrow, who apparently came out. Did I miss something? Hasn't he been out for years? As far as I'm concerned, this was a non-story. But, eh, people who don't read probably thought it was news.

The next night, I celebrated Marilyn Maye's 90th birthday—and she performed for at least 90 minutes! The capacity crowd at 54 Below included many familiar faces, including Tyne Daly, Christine Ebersole, Liz Callaway, David Hyde Pierce, Bob Mackie, Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman and oodles of others. Auntie Marilyn's entire run sold out moments after it was announced. It was extended, and then the extension sold out. And this was not simply an evening of nostalgia—Maye's singing is better than ever. Powerful, insightful, and touching. You can see some clips from the show on . I was glad to be there as Maye kicked up her heels—literally!

My dear friend Jenifer Lewis is continuing her tour of the country in order to promote her book, The Mother of Black Hollywood. While I was in NYC, she was in Baltimore. And since she was in the neighborhood, she zipped to our nation's capital to catch Patti LaBelle in concert. Of course, Patti had to bring Jenifer onstage, who had to be coaxed into joining LaBelle for "Lady Marmalade." You can catch the video on .

Then Jenifer and I rendezvoused in Fort Lauderdale, where I joined her at several of her events. In addition to meeting with hundreds of fans who came out to see her, buy books and take photos, she put a day aside to meet with the students from Parkland and Liberty City to discuss what they had been through. More than anything else, Lewis listened as they shared their stories of survival. It was an emotional and cathartic meeting.

The week before, Gus Kenworthy was in the area as the honorary grand marshal for South Beach Pride. And he wasn't alone—he was joined by beau Matthew Wilkas. We're told that some of the revelers were a bit "handsie" with the snowboarder, but I don't think he minded. "Stoked to check 'Crowd Surf' off my bucket list, today!" Some of my friends tell me that more than a few hot guys got invitations to some "agreed upon" private meet-and-greets with Gus and Matthew ... and why not?

I'm seriously thinking of organizing a boycott of Dancing with the Stars. I really am pissed off. I know I keep harping on it, but Greg Louganis—one of the most decorated and awe-inspiring athletes of all time—has been begging to be on the show for years. Crickets. Is it ageism? Homophobia? Who knows. But when this Dancing with the Stars: Athletes edition was announced, it seemed a perfect fit. Who is a more accomplished athlete in history than Greg Louganis? But once again, he was not even considered.

Laverne Cox also found her current beau on Tinder. She stated, "I'm a Tinder girl. When I broke up with my ex, I went back on Tinder, because I feel like if you want to date, you have to be on the apps. You have to be on the apps to be in the game." Apparently she met her man nine months ago and has kept him on the down low. But last week, she posted a photo of them together in bed on Instagram, without sharing too many details. Smart girl—and, he's hot!

Rumor has it Kevin Spacey could be in legal hot water. The LA District Attorney is reviewing an extensive sex crimes case against Spacey filed by the LA County sheriff. The charges stem from an encounter the actor had with a man in West Hollywood back in October 1992. The investigation began in December, and the case has enough evidence to warrant review by the DA. Stay tuned.

A case with far less merit is the one against Dustin Lance Black for shoplifting. My God: He wasn't content being Roman Polanski—he now has to become Bess Myerson! Allegedly, DLB was shopping at Woolworths in Australia—let that little tidbit sink in for a minute. A gay man. An Oscar winner. Shopping in a Woolworths. Now THAT'S a crime! While he was browsing, he was being shadowed by store security. He posted, "OMG! Was just stopped and accused of shoplifting @woolworths in the Gold Coast! Then out of countless folks with bags a search was demanded of mine. Thanks for the warm welcome to #AUSTRALIA @woolworths! Respect customers' privacy much? Shame."

We have time for a teensy weensy "Ask Billy" question. Justin in Chicago said, "Is it true that Tom Daley had a dick slip while diving? Tell me more—and show me the dick."

Well, it wouldn't be the first time his body has been featured prominently on . But it is true. The incident in question happened at the Commonwealth Games in Australia ( site of that infamous Woolworths ). When Tom hit the water after his dive, his penis slipped out of its pouch. And, yes, of course, we'll post it on our website.

When we're promoting the little things, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Even in this tawdry column, you can walk away with knowledge. For instance, who knew there were still Woolworths? You'll find far more tawdry tidbits—the site that features all creatures, great and small. If you have a question, you can always send it along to, and I promise to get back to you before DLB shows up someplace wearing a hot tiara! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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Billy Masters 2019-01-09 - "I think she just has really tiny hands!"—Pete Davidson at his New Year's Eve show at Chevalier Auditorium in Medford, Massachusetts, while discussing ...

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Billy Masters 2019-01-02 - "That we're Eskimo brothers!"—Andy Cohen's answer to what the public may not know about him and his good friend, Anderson Cooper. For those ...

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Billy Masters 2018-12-26 - "Get ready for some pounding. Some of us could see eight inches or more. That's too much—even for me."—Virginia Beach weatherman Blaine Stewart ...

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Billy Masters 2018-12-19 - "That's about the gayest thing I have ever heard. You and Viggo Mortensen should get a hotel room and suck each other's dicks!"—Judge ...


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