"You want Pence? You want Pence for the fricking president? Then you zip that fucking lip."—Roseanne Barr tells Jimmy Kimmel why she hopes Donald Trump remains in office. Finally, there's something Roseanne and I agree on.
In recent columns, I've talked about how Kathy Griffin was on the road to career recovery. Well, it would appear that she's there ... and I'm taking some of the credit. No, I had nothing to do with her selling out Carnegie Hall in under 24 hours. But I was pleased to hear she will be attending the White House Correspondents Dinner. No, she won't be hosting—although she offered to do it for free. Instead, she will be there under the auspices of the Washington Blade and the Los Angeles Blade—home of the popular Billy Masters column. You're welcome!
I recently told you that Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon was going to run for governor of New York. At the time, many scoffed. Now Cynthia has formally thrown her hat ( does anyone still wear a hat? ) in the ring. And she's running on the subway platform—literally! She said, "Our leaders are letting us down. Something has to change. We want our government to work again, on health care, ending mass incarceration, fixing our broken subways." News of her candidacy was met with derision. Gov. Andrew Cuomo said, "I'm hoping that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Billy Joel don't get into the race because if it's just about name recognition, that would really be a problem."
The biggest insult came from NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn: "It's a flight of fancy on her part. Cynthia Nixon was opposed to having a qualified lesbian become mayor of New York City. Now she wants to be an unqualified lesbian to be the governor of New York." Now, I don't know much about Nixon. But I know she was married to a man for 15 years and to a woman for five—so I say she's qualified to do whatever the hell she wants. I'm assuming Cynthia criticized Quinn ( who is a lesbian ) when she was running for mayor of NYC. Nixon took the barb in stride: "I just want to say tonight that she was technically right—that I don't have my certificate from the Department of Lesbian Affairs. Though, in my defense, there's a lot of paperwork involved."
Last fall, we reported about the proposed off-Broadway revival of When Pigs Fly. The revue, written by Howard Crabtree and Mark Waldrop with music by Dick Gallagher, was a sensation and won oodles of awards when it opened in 1996. The original production ran for over two years and spawned companies around the world. So it seemed a slam dunk when this revival was announced—and even more so when the legendary Bob Mackie signed on to do the costumes. Then at the last minute, it was cancelled. Allegedly the producers were "undercapitalized" ( which means they ran out of money ), and the cast and costumes were shelved—until now. The Actors Fund is mounting a one-night-only concert on April 9 at the Gerald Lynch Theatre at John Jay College in NYC. The show will feature the new cast AND the costumes! Grab what few tickets are left at ActorsFund.org .
It is impossible to keep Mackie down as long as there's a sequin left in the world. In an announcement that came as no surprise, he is creating the costumes for The Cher Show, the upcoming Broadway musical based on the singing actress' life. He said, "Thirty gazillion outfits later, the lady is about to be immortalized in a musical, for which I am delighted to be designing. Darling, my sketchpad is ready!" The show will play Chicago's Oriental Theatre for a month starting on June 12, and then will hit the Great White Way in the fall.
Someone not walking down the aisle anytime soon is former porn pup Brent Corrigan. He just announced his split from fiance J.J. Knight, saying, "My heart is heavy as I share the news that @JJKnightXXX & I are no longer taking on the world together. All the good in JJ will shine bright now that he has chosen make a new life for himself. Please be considerate of our privacy in the meantime. Thank you." It sounds like this was not a split that Corrigan wanted, although insiders tell me that JJ was just another in a long line of controlling beaus in Brent's life.
Remember the case of Dame Olivia de Havilland against Ryan Murphy and FX over how she was portrayed in "Feud"? Well, she scored a major victory. She fought the network's attempt to get the case thrown out of court, and won. This was a win that sent shockwaves all over Hollywood—by siding with Dame de Havilland, the court was allowing a real person the right to dictate how they were portrayed. This led to a rare demonstration of solidarity as many of the major studios and Netflix joined FX against the 101-year-old legend. An appeal was quickly filed, claiming that the ruling "threatens to doom entire genres of fact-based motion pictures, including docudramas and biopics." It further stated that "Under the court's logic, all unauthorized biographies would be unlawful." Wouldn't that also endanger gossip columns? Oh my God: Will I have to go to court? More importantly, what will I wear? Turns out the appeal was successful, although we hear that Livvy is contemplating her options.
When I'm buying a hat for court, it's definitely time to end yet another column. And now, a personal message to a neighbor: I don't exactly know what is happening at the home of that openly gay former teen heartthrob. ( It was suggested I not name names lest a suit be forthcoming. ) But, to the throngs and multitudes ( or the multitudes in thongs ) who wander into his abode in the wee small hours—please don't double-park during your brief encounters. Thank you. For all other pressing matters, check out BillyMasters.com—the site that, like our unnamed actor, allows unlimited in-and-out access! If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I get sued under the de Havilland Act! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
