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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"I'm sorry. I recognized you, but I thought maybe from porn!"—A waiter in a restaurant in Italy to Eric Bana. After telling the story on The Talk, Julie Chen said, "Now we know what he does on his lunch break." Good one, Mrs. Moonves!

Since last week's column was filed moments after the Oscars ended ( and from the event itself ), there were a few stories I missed. For instance, most people didn't realize that Daniela Vega made Academy Awards history—she was the first transgender Oscar presenter. I feel it's important to add "that we know of" because ... well, who knows.

The "In Memoriam" sequence always manages to ruffle feathers by omitting people who should have made the cut. This year, many are complaining that Mary Tyler Moore, Powers Boothe and Adam West should have been included. Yes, all three are primarily known for television. But MTM was an Oscar nominee for Ordinary People in 1980. I realize that the Academy has to draw the line somewhere. But once you've included Zsa Zsa Gabor, it seems to me the bar has been lowered considerably.

Openly gay writer James Ivory is the oldest Oscar winner for penning Call Me By Your Name. And he made an announcement—there will be a sequel, saying, "I'm already conceiving the story with Andre Aciman," who wrote the novel the film is based on. Ivory has said, "It's gonna happen five or six years afterwards, so almost in the 1990s." That's a departure from the novel, where Elio visits Oliver in the States 15 years after that fateful summer. Be that as it may, Ivory also promised that both Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet will return to their roles. But here's something you'll only hear from moi: Since both guys were skittish about the sex scenes in the first film, they had a "no-penis clause" written into their contracts. Now I'm a little less excited...

Our gay Olympians were also at the Oscars. Gus Kenworthy was with his equally hot beau Matt Wilkas, while Adam Rippon was with his best friend, fellow figure skater Mirai Nagasu. In terms of Rippon, everyone focused on the fact that he was wearing a leather harness. Days later, Andy Cohen asked him what he looks for in a man. He said he wants someone who goes to the gym and has a job. Then Brandi Glanville piped in, "He needs a rough top." Adam quickly added, "Why not?" Something tells me they'll have to get in line behind Cohen.

Many people are wondering if Rippon will be invited to compete on the upcoming athletes-only edition of Dancing with the Stars. While we hear ABC really wants him, I suspect it is unlikely. The show starts April 30, and the dancers begin practicing two weeks before that. Adam is already scheduled to tour with "Stars on Ice" from April 6 through May 20. So, unless he's gonna commute back and forth, I highly doubt it.

Might I remind ABC that Greg Louganis has been begging to be on "DWTS" for years. If ever there were a season where he'd fit in perfectly, it's this one. An Olympic champion, a legend, and gay—sign him up!

Meanwhile in lovely downtown Vatican City, the Holy See is being rocked by yet another sex scandal. At the center of the trial is Father Luca Morini, who is accused of corruption. It all started when he contacted Francesco Mangiacapra, a male escort. According to Mangiacapra, Morini spent hundreds of thousands of Euros which he got out of parishioners and superiors in the Catholic Church.

When Mangiacapra realized what was going on, he contacted the archdiocese, but nothing was done. Then he called the local news. Suddenly, Morini was removed from his church due to "sickness." Allegedly, the Church bought him an expensive villa, hired a maid and paid all his expenses. It's said that Morini blackmailed a bishop into taking care of him after he threatened "to expose to the public eye unpleasant facts about many diocesan priests." Mangiacapra has produced a 1,200-page dossier that names names, and provides additional documentation—including photos and videos of Morini snorting cocaine and cavorting with male hookers. It also includes evidence against 60 other priests. Mangiacapra said, "The goal isn't to hurt the people I've mentioned, but to help them understand that their double life isn't useful to them or to the people who rely on them for guidance." He also claimed that no minors were involved: "We're talking about sins, not crimes. I only want this out so that these people will stop preaching hatred towards gays."

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black are shocked by the negative comments they've read online regarding the impending birth of the spawn of at least one of their loins. "I can't believe people aren't happy for us," said an incredulous Tom. Isn't that sweet? He still doesn't get it.

You can't keep a good girl down. After repeatedly stating that her domestic career was decimated by Donald Trump, Kathy Griffin is about to embark on a United States tour! She already announced dates in San Francisco, Seattle and Boston. But on Real Time with Bill Maher, she said that she'll also be playing Carnegie Hall in New York, and the Kennedy Center in DC. Something tells me she's back!

We have time for a very brief "Ask Billy" question. Roger in Chicago asks, "Did you see Darren Criss' ass on 'American Crime Story'? Isn't it perfect? Tell me you saved it and will post it."

I saw, I saved, I posted—on .

When I'm quoting Julius Caesar ( but not in the original Latin ), it's definitely time to end yet another column. Speaking of "In Memoriam," we have another death to report. Billy Herrington was a HUGE porn star in the '90s. For years he had struggled with various addictions. About a year ago, he cleaned up his act and even just got his one-year chip. Life was great and then, bam, killed in a car accident last week. Rest in peace. For the latest gossip, be sure to check out—the site that doesn't have a "no-penis clause!" If you have a question, send it along to, and I promise to get back to you before Mike Pence buys a ticket to see Kathy Griffin at the Kennedy Center! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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Billy Masters 2018-08-15 - "Is there anything more satisfying than seeing recent photos of someone you once lusted after now looking hideous? I also recognize: a ) ...

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Billy Masters 2018-08-08 - "First of all, it's totally hogwash. My sister would never, ever have done anything to do any harm to any child, especially within ...

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Billy Masters 2018-08-01 - "I was gender-confused. My parents just let me grow out of it. As I look back, I knew they were frustrated. I was ...

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Billy Masters 2018-07-25 - "I've had experiences with men, even while I was dating the woman who became my wife. It was like, 'Wow, does that mean—I ...

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Billy Masters 2018-07-18 - "Yes, I did offer them acting jobs in exchange for sex, but so did and still does everyone. But I never, ever forced ...


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