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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"Unless it's changed overnight, the motto of the Olympics, since 1894, has been 'Faster, Higher, Stronger.' It appears the US Olympic Committee would like to change that to 'Darker, Gayer, Different.' If your goal is to win medals, that won't work."—Fox News Vice President John Moody criticizes the diversity of the US Olympic Team. In case anyone is keeping track, there are 243 athletes on the US Olympic Team. Two of them are ( openly ) gay. That's not even one in 10!

So, who's watching the Olympics? Eh, I know you were watching. You at least watched the Opening Ceremonies, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Far be it from me to turn my back on a hot shirtless man—although, you know, occasionally these things do happen. Anyway, I did find the presence of the now-requisite shirtless flag bearer from Tonga somewhat odd for a Winter Olympics—although it did remind me that I need to get an oil change! Turns out, Pita Taufatofua, who was a taekwondo competitor in the Rio Olympics, is suddenly a cross-country skier. He picked up the sport two years ago—when he first saw snow! Well, how many skiers do they have in Tonga?

Although Mike Pence allegedly got a selfie with Pita ( but it does look like it could be a fake ), he hasn't yet gotten one with Adam Rippon. You'll recall that Adam previously said that he wasn't a fan of the VP due to his association with gay conversion therapy. Shockingly enough, Pence addressed the situation in a Tweet. "@Adaripp I want you to know we are FOR YOU. Don't let fake news distract you. I am proud of you and ALL OF OUR GREAT athletes and my only hope for you and all of #TeamUSA is to bring home the gold. Go get 'em!"

Of course, Korea isn't the only place where there's a competition. We've got one going on right here in the ole US of A—Celebrity Big Brother. As much as people claim to hate her, everyone I know tuned in the first night to see Omarosa. And she didn't disappoint. All everyone was talking about was her entrance in a ball gown and her attempt to walk down a non-existent runway. It was just a little piece of heaven. Then there was the whispering with Ross Mathews. Shhhh—we don't want anyone to hear ... even though we're wearing microphones! It's pointless to say much more since everything on that show could change by the time you read this column.

Then there's the continuing battle between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall. I refuse to regurgitate the story of why there will be no Samantha in Sex and the City 3—although one fan suggested perhaps the next film could open with the three girls at Samantha's funeral! Maybe they could get that "Mannequin" out of storage to lie in the casket. Last we heard, Cattrall told Piers Morgan that Parker could have been nicer and that they were never friends. Parker then told Andy Cohen that Cattrall's comment left her "heartbroken." Last week, Cattrall Tweeted that her family was trying to locate her brother Christopher, who was missing. A few days later, it was revealed that he had died. Upon hearing the news, SJP posted this on Instagram: "Dearest Kim, my love and condolences to you and yours and Godspeed to your beloved brother. Xx."

At first, Cattrall tweeted, "I don't need your love or support at this tragic time @sarahjessicaparker." In case that didn't drive the point home, Kim had a follow-up: "My mom asked me today 'When will that @sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?' Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now. Let me make this VERY clear. ( If I haven't already ) You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I'm writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your 'nice girl' persona." OUCH!

I knew it was a matter of time before someone asked this "Ask Billy" question. Steve in Miami says, "We miss you in Hot Spots' But since I still read you online, I've been wondering when you would address the sexual-assault charges against Topher DiMaggio. Are they true? I mean, he's totally hot—who's saying no to him?"

First, I miss my SoFla fans and hope to be back in print with you again very soon. But, I will be back in town for the Winter Party. Many gay men find it hard to imagine anyone not wanting to have sex with Topher DiMaggio. But, regardless of how hot someone is, no means no. According to reports, the underwear model ( and occasional gay-porn star ) has been accused of verbal harassment, sexual assault and even rape. His fellow gay porn star, Tegan Zayne, claims that the night before they were going to shoot a scene, Topher pressured him into having sex. DiMaggio responded, saying, "These horrific accusations have shocked me to my core. All of my relations with this person have been consensual and willing." I wonder how many people helped him string those words together.

Shortly after Zayne went public, two other men accused Topher of rape. Then two more accused him of sexual assault. One of those attacks allegedly took place at an event in Seattle that Andrew Christian was hosting! None of this is good news for the underwear giant—especially since DiMaggio ( a name I doubt appears on any official paperwork ) is the face, er, body of the brand. Christian said Topher is on "indefinite suspension while we look into the matter." I doubt he's suffering, financially—that's what I hear from several people who claim to have paid for his services. In case you're interested in seeing what they get for their money, check out .

When politicians are tweeting statements, it's time to end yet another column. Call me old-fashioned, but can you imagine a tweet from Henry Kissinger? Can you imagine Kissinger limiting a statement to 280 characters? You'll find a helluva lot more characters—and most of them will be nude. It's a big week for me. On Feb. 13, I turned 49. I really should say 59. For 49, I look OK; for 59, I look AMAZING! However old I am, I'm inviting you to reach out and touch me in any way you feel comfortable at, and I promise not to sue! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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Gay News

Billy Masters 2019-01-16 - "You can't just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women. There must be some standards, and having a penis ...

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Billy Masters 2019-01-09 - "I think she just has really tiny hands!"—Pete Davidson at his New Year's Eve show at Chevalier Auditorium in Medford, Massachusetts, while discussing ...

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Billy Masters 2019-01-02 - "That we're Eskimo brothers!"—Andy Cohen's answer to what the public may not know about him and his good friend, Anderson Cooper. For those ...

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Billy Masters 2018-12-26 - "Get ready for some pounding. Some of us could see eight inches or more. That's too much—even for me."—Virginia Beach weatherman Blaine Stewart ...

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Billy Masters 2018-12-19 - "That's about the gayest thing I have ever heard. You and Viggo Mortensen should get a hotel room and suck each other's dicks!"—Judge ...

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Billy Masters 2018-12-12 - "It would not have been possible without the help of the president, who not only gave us the impetus for this reboot but ...

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Billy Masters 2018-12-05 - "I thought the stain was going to be bigger. Y'know, it was so low. To me, it was probably he hadn't pulled up ...

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Billy Masters 2018-11-27 - "Me in the clouds searching for @ZacEfron's nudes."—Gus Kenworthy's caption for an Instagram shot looking at the sky. Silly boy, you won't find ...

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Billy Masters 2018-11-21 - "Broadway's Disastrous 'King Kong' is a $35 million crime against puppets."—Rex Reed's headline for his review of King Kong: The Musical. I haven't ...

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Billy Masters 2018-11-13 - "I'm not gonna say that if you vote then I'll have sex with you, but if you don't then I can promise you ...


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