Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2018-10-17
About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage



Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

"We've only got five hits, so we have to fill in the blanks somehow."—Chynna Phillips, explaining the covers performed during a recent Wilson Phillips concert. In truth, the group had seven Top 40 songs, three of which went to number one.

And now, some good news—penis sizes are going up. Yes, according to a recent study, the penises are on the rise. What has caused this phenomenon is uncertain—as is the veracity of this report. There are so many holes to be filled, so to speak. How were the penii measured? Was it a self-reporting survey? Because if so, I don't buy any of it. Were the penii measured by the pollsters? Because if so, where do I apply for that job? While the polling method is unknown, we do know that when the study was done in 2016, the size of an average penis was 5.16 inches when erect. I don't know if this is a salient point, but it should be noted that these were UK penii. When the same research group did this recent survey, the average penis jumped to 6.1 inches. What could account for that increase of almost 24 millimeters? Maybe they just sent out hotter pollsters.

Whilst there is no penis competition in the modern Olympic Games, I'm sure a handful will be on display in the coming days. It may be the Winter Games, but since most competitors wear Lycra, dick slips are not just for summer anymore. As we previously reported, Vice President Mike Pence is leading the US delegation, something that doesn't please everyone. Echoing the sentiments of skater Adam Rippon, skier Gus Kenworthy said, "I feel the same way as him. I think it's not the person I would have expected, and I think it sends mixed messages because this is the first time we're seeing out US Olympic athletes competing in the Winter Olympics, and then we have someone leading the delegation that doesn't support that, and doesn't support the LGBT community, and has spoken against it. I think it doesn't send the right message. It's unfortunate, but it is what it is."

Before moving on, let's tie these first few paragraphs together as only I can. We've learned that the International Olympic Committee placed the largest order of condoms in Olympic history! Over 110K condoms were ordered, which means 37 condoms per athlete—which, over a two-week period, sounds about right to me. Spokesman Chung Geun-sik says he doesn't expect the athletes to use them all, saying, "Many will likely be taken home as souvenirs." That said, Olympic officials predict that this will be the "most promiscuous group of athletes in Olympic history." Apparently they forget that athletes in the first Olympics in ancient Greece competed in the nude!

While I typically would drop everything and jump on a plane to see a reunion of The Go-Go's, I had pressing business in California and couldn't get away. And so, while I may have been absent when the girls took to the stage of the Bowery Ballroom in New York City, ousted bassist Kathy Valentine was back where she belonged—onstage between Belinda Carlisle and Jane Wiedlin. The classic lineup reunited for the official launch of the Broadway-bound musical, Head Over Heels, which is using the music of The Go-Go's. They rocked out to seven of their biggest hits ( well, six of theirs, one of Belinda's ) and the capacity crowd ate it up. The glitterati on hand included Sandra Bernhard, Debbie Harry and Andy Cohen. And then it was over ... or was it? Two nights later, they did a five-song set on the beach adjacent to the swanky Mandarin Oriental in Miami as part of the Broadway Across America conference—where producers promote their shows to theater owners around the country. Kinda premature for a show that's not even hitting Broadway until June, but it makes me happy. You can see footage from the NY show on .

By the way, when Head Over Heels hits Broadway, it will also make a bit of history. One of the leads will be played by Peppermint, a runner-up from RuPaul's Drag Race. With her casting, she'll be the first trans woman to originate a leading role on Broadway. However, she won't be the first "Drag Race" alum to hit the Great White Way. That honor goes to Milan, aka Dwayne Cooper, who appeared in Motown: The Musical and Hairspray.

Just to remind you how lucky we are to be living in the United States ( even under the current administration ), last week the first same-sex active-duty soldiers got married where they met—at West Point! Daniel Hall and Vincent Franchino are both captains, both Apache helicopter pilots, and both pretty hot. In case you're interested in how hot they look out of their uniforms, check out .

This column may be going to bed during the Super Bowl, but one of our readers is definitely up. Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Spencer on Cape Cod, who writes, "I know everyone goes crazy over Gronk's body, but I'm a Brady boy. Has Tom ever posed nude? Or have you ever come across any nude shots of him?"

When I got this email, I had a vague recollection of some nude photos of Tom Brady. So what did I do? Went to the bible of nude photos of hot men— . I wrote a story two years ago about how the paparazzi got off some shots of Tommy while he was sunbathing au naturel in Positano, Italy. He certainly gives Gronk a run for his money in the ass department. As for the dick, it's grainy, but it appears to be above average.

When Brady's looking a bit deflated, it's time to end yet another column. Before wrapping up, I want to note the passing of a dear friend. Rick McKay was a writer, performer and filmmaker best known for his documentary Broadway: The Golden Age. In fact, when he used to come to LA and interview luminaries for the film, he would sleep on my sofa! Before you doze off, check out—the site where most penises are above average. If you have a question, send it off to and I promise to get back to you before I start my own survey! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


Gay News

Billy Master 2018-10-17 - "Shit, I'm attracted to everything."—Jake Choi expresses his sexual orientation. If only I could place him. If only I could place him, although ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-10-10 - "Please give it up for Garrett Colton."—Mariah Balenciaga introduces Garrett Clayton at Gay Days Anaheim. Oops. Clayton said, "Thanks, Mariah, for getting my ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-10-03 - "What do you expect? I'm a Black lesbian."—Wanda Sykes' response when asked why she made jokes about Trump at a recent show in ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-09-26 - "America's Got Talent got a bigger audience than the Emmys. Write your own punch line. It's a Jewish holiday."—Perennial awards show scribe Bruce ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-09-19 - "Makeup. Five pounds of makeup."—Cher explained why she looks so good in Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again. She added, "Also the director ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-09-12 - "How you feeling, Birmingham?"—Britney Spears greets the audience at the final stop on her "Piece of Me" tour. Alas, she wasn't in Birmingham—she ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-09-05 - "When I saw Ariana Grande on the program, I thought that was something at Taco Bell!" — Bishop Charles H. Ellis, who presided ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-08-29 - "I do think it's dangerous, personally. I feel like in any of this sort of stuff, you have to take each situation. We ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-08-22 - "All of my best friends are gay. I support the community. I love the community. They love me. That has nothing to do ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-08-15 - "Is there anything more satisfying than seeing recent photos of someone you once lusted after now looking hideous? I also recognize: a ) ...


Copyright © 2018 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.








About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group produces Windy City Queercast, & publishes Windy City Times,
The Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community,
Nightspots, Out! Resource Guide, and Identity.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.