Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2017-10-18

This article shared 883 times since Wed Oct 18, 2017
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


"Girl, listen, this is getting juicy. Andy Cohen, I'm waiting for The Real Housewives of Eastern Europe. Go get 'em! Get on this, Andy Cohen. Those bitches are gonna be fighting with swords and everything!"—Sheryl Underwood on The Talk discusses Andy Cohen's offer to mediate between Ivana and Melania Trump. I'd definitely watch that show.

Every time I think I've seen it all, something manages to actually shock me. Last week, I got a fan letter from an honest-to-goodness reverend! Now, I don't know whether he is affiliated with an actual church or if he's one of those reverends who was ordained on the internet. But he was certainly smart enough to start his letter by saying, "Thanks for your thoughtful and humorous comments!" Well, you had me at thanks and kept me with humorous. And he obviously knows something about religion because he was writing to tell me that there is actually a Biblical passage that talks about men wearing women's clothing. It's in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 22, verse 5: "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment, for all who do so are an abomination." You know what this means? Diane Keaton is condemned to eternal damnation—as if sleeping with Woody Allen wasn't punishment enough!

When last we saw Kathy Griffin, she had announced a world tour, shaved her head in solidarity with her sister who had cancer and was feuding with a neighbor over a pool party. Since then, her hair has started to grow back in, her sister died and the neighbor thinks she's spying on him. On top of all that, she made a surprise appearance in Los Angeles. Except it wasn't much of a surprise—Kathy has appeared at the annual "Best in Drag" fundraiser almost 20 times in the past. So the fact that she chose that venue to make her first domestic stage appearance since the Trump debacle was not surprising. That she entered the stage wearing a non-bloody Trump mask and taking a knee was perhaps somewhat of a surprise.

What she did was less of a routine and more of a proclamation that she was back. And just to prove it, she read some letters she got from fans and foes alike. The most amusing was an email addressed to Anderson Cooper but cc'd to Kathy: "Dear Anderson. From one homo to another, you're a fickle faggot. Really? Not supporting and backing Kathy Griffin after she had your back for years? Even to talk about your cock-sucking in her comedy back when you were still a closeted queen. And another thing, Anderson. Homo rule 101—you always back your fag hag." You can see the rest of her appearance on BillyMasters.com .

Speaking of Anderson Cooper, you all know that Kathy was fired from co-hosting New Year's Eve on CNN with Coop. At long last, a replacement has been named. And that is ... drum roll, please—Andy Cohen! You didn't need to be Jeane Dixon to predict this—I said this would happen the moment Kathy was fired. But, news is news.

Then there's all this Weinstein drama, and one must give credit where credit's due. I'm not the biggest fan of Satchel Ronan O'Sullivan Farrow Allen Sinatra—aka Ronan Farrow. But he did do the legwork on this piece and did the digging even without the support of a news outlet. He went rogue ( if not commando ), and got people to talk. That NBC passed on the story is yet another mystery, but Ronan's tenacity got it to The New Yorker. The rest is history. That said, I have to admit something that won't be popular—I really don't care about any of this. I mean, Cosby was drugging and raping people—that was interesting. And I have enormous sympathy for anyone who is physically assaulted. That is horrific. But what about the story that Harvey put his hands on Gwyneth Paltrow's shoulders and suggested they get a massage. Do I believe it happened? Sure. Does it get me excited? Nah. What about reports that he made advances on Angelina Jolie? What interests me is the common thread—Brad Pitt! I'm waiting for Jennifer Aniston to come forward with a teary testimony.

Didya watch the Dynasty reboot? I know—YAWN! But plans are afoot to make it juicier. Like what, you may ask? Like what they did on the original series—by bringing in Joan Collins! But Billy, I can hear you cry, how can 84-year-old Joan Collins be the ex-wife of 55-year-old Grant Show? Is he into necrophilia? No. But she won't be playing Alexis. The powers that be tried to convince her to join the cast as Blake's MOTHER! Well, Joan's a shrewd lady and she had a better idea—what if she were Cristal's mum? Hmmm—now THAT'S interesting.

Could it be there's another "victim" whose keeping quiet? Well, of course, there's the wife who got where she is the same way all those other starlets did. But when she saw what was happening around her, she threatened to leave. And then Quasimodo had an idea—what if she had someone to satisfy her sexual needs? She made a wish list. Cut to that limber lad so attractive to women and men alike. A golden boy who's willing to bend over backwards ( and forwards ) to get ahead. Suddenly he's on the hubby's payroll and banging the wife. You see, he thought she'd leave Cyclops for him. But, in actuality, it was all yet another deal. When the mover and shaker figured it out, he threatened to go public. And suddenly, poof, he was offered his dream role on Broadway! And like so many whores before him, he kept his big mouth shut—even when the Broadway show was mysteriously postponed.

When you can huff and puff and blow a blind item down, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Of course, we're far less circumspect on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that cannot be bought—but can be rented. And like so many rent boys before me, you can send your requests into BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I take a vow of silence ... or chastity—or any vow at all! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 883 times since Wed Oct 18, 2017
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Theater Review: Billy Elliot, The Musical
2024-02-19
Book and Lyrics: Lee Hall; Music: Elton John. At: Paramount Theatre, 23 E. Galena Blvd., Aurora Tickets: 630-896-6666 or Paramountaurora.com; $28-$79. Runs through March 24 Billy Elliot: The Musical may nearly be two decades old, but ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ Kelly Clarkson, Billy Porter and Luke Evans, 'All of Us,' 'Book of Mormon'
2024-01-05
Video below - At Kelly Clarkson's "Chemistry: An Intimate Evening" residency show in Las Vegas, two men got married with the help of the singer/talk-show host as a witness, EW.com noted. In an audience video from the show, fans ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: The tea that got spilled in 2023
2023-12-26
"No offense, but you look like Billy Masters." —I don't know which part of this quip from a stranger insulted me more—that he didn't realize I am Billy Masters, or he thought someone would take offense ...


Gay News

MOVIES Bill Oliver reflects on a queer couple's custody fight in 'Our Son'
2023-12-21
In the compelling, intimate movie Our Son (in theaters and available via streaming), Luke Evans and Billy Porter portray a married couple in which one of them decides to file for divorce. However, this is no ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Barry Manilow really was just interested in the articles
2023-12-19
"I wouldn't be in it now if they gave me a million dollars. I'm never going to change my mind. They can just go you-know-what themselves." —Cher tells Kelly Clarkson her thoughts on being snubbed by ...


Gay News

LGBTQ+ baseball executives announce cancer battles
2023-12-13
Openly gay Major League Baseball (MLB) executive Billy Bean announced he has been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and that he needs a donor for a bone-marrow transplant, Gay City News noted. USA Today initially reported ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Fun messiness from the Ladies of the '80s
2023-12-12
"Everybody wants a bf like Timothée Chalamet...until it's time to change a tire." —Meghan McCain. OK, so she only retweeted it. But I'm filled with the spirit of giving. Alas, I suspect Timmy could only ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: The icing on the cake at a gender-reveal party
2023-12-05
"To hell with this place!"—George Santos's parting comments after being ejected from Congress. He also said that Congress "is full of felons galore." At least, that's what I think he said. With his lisp, it sounded ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: The Dolly Cowboy Cheerleaders
2023-11-28
Whoever intended to dumb down the citizens of America have done a FANTASTIC job. We are dumb as shit!"—Patti LuPone in an interview with broadcaster Tom Power prior to her touring show Don't Monkey with Broadway ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ Billy Porter, queer novel, 'Tammy Faye,' queer DJ, Bella Ramsey
2023-11-24
Billy Porter released his long-awaited new album, Black Mona Lisa, via Island Records UK/Republic Records, and it's executive-produced by Justin Tranter, a press release noted. Porter said, "So many of the songs on my album have ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Was Kim Kardashian officiating your wedding worth it?
2023-11-20
I'd hoped to never again type the word "Jada" again. But this week, it's inevitable. It is being alleged that actor Duane Martin (don't feel bad—I had to look him up as well) slept with Will ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: The times Streisand failed to make a splash
2023-11-13
"Fame is a hollow trophy. No matter who you are, you can only eat one pastrami sandwich at a time."—Wise words from Barbra Streisand. You all know that Barbra Streisand's book is out. And I ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Barbra's bio hits stores...but don't rain on Cher's parade either
2023-11-07
"I will be forced to be in a position where I will have to openly say how I feel about the film and go against you, my mother and this film publicly."—Lisa Marie Presley's e-mail to director Sofia Coppola after reading ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Britney spills the tea
2023-10-31
"Brad Pitt, I think, in 'Troy'. That's a beautiful man. There's no denying it."—Jacob Elordi tells Jimmy Fallon his first celebrity crush. (If you can't place Jacob, you'll soon see him playing Elvis Presley in Sofia ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Madonna sets her watch to Diva Time
2023-10-23
"It is truly obscene what they're charging for tickets to 'Merrily We Roll Along' on Broadway. $500 to $800. PLUS—$40 a ticket 'handling charge.'"—Kevin Chamberlin voices his outrage at the price of Broadway tickets. Imag ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.