"You know, very few people on Planet Earth, if Little Richard dials somebody's phone number, there's nobody on Earth that wouldn't answer it. I don't care if it's the president of the United States or the president of Africa."—Danny Shelton on Three Angels Broadcasting Network. The President of Africa???? He's probably friends with the emperor of Asia!
Here's what I've learned lo these many decades in the gossip biz—many media outlets simply reprint a story that someone else reported. They don't go back to the source, they don't do additional research—it's just cut and paste. So I was curious when I read headlines that Little Richard, the alleged architect of rock 'n' roll, was publicly denouncing homosexuality. Aside from the obvious, I wondered how someone who is 84 and hasn't had a hit in several decades was making news. And because I have standards, I watched every minute of his endless interview with the Three Angels Broadcasting Network—a network I don't believe you'll find on Spectrum or Comcast!
First things first: Where's the wig? When I think of Little Richard, I picture him with a mop of hair on his head reminiscent of Miss Maxine Waters! In this interview, he looks like OJ at the McDonald's drive-thru! Since 3ABN is a religious network, most of the chat focuses on Richard's faith. I had trouble focusing on anything other than his purple sequin pumps! Little Richard says he's turned down hundreds of thousands of dollars to do shows because it is impossible to serve two masters. Personally, I've never found that particularly difficult. Occasionally, I've served more than two—but that's another story. Of course, Ritchie also revealed that after his last show, his nephew said, "It's time for you to stop—'cause you sound awful." A far more believable scenario.
One of the quotes I keep reading is Little Richard condemned "unnatural affections." So, here's the context—Richard was talking about the second coming of Jesus ( and you haven't lived until you've had someone named Jesus come twice! ). He reportedly said, "All these things, so much unnatural affections. So much of people just doing everything and don't think about God and don't want no parts of it." I don't find that particularly pointed or inflammatory.
The next alleged anti-gay comment was this quote: "When I first come in show business, they wanted you to look like everybody but yourself. And anybody that comes in show business, they gonna say are you gay, are you straight, are you a homosexual or something? They're gonna say it. But the God Jesus made men men, he made women women. And you gotta live the way God wants you to live. But, see, he made you. He loves all of us. He loves whatever you are, he loves you. I don't care who you are, he loves you." Maybe I'm missing something, but that sounds to me like someone espousing an all-loving God.
Kim Cattrall is still getting huge backlash from her decision not to make a third Sex and the City film. Everybody from co-stars to people behind the scenes are blaming her for the plug being pulled on the sequel which supposedly was poised to begin shooting. Bu, everyone neglects to mention that Kim never agreed to be in it! She never signed a contract. She never negotiated. She said she didn't want to do it from day one.
So, if the studio went ahead and planned a shooting schedule around someone not signed to the film, how is that her fault? I'm told it was a bullying tactic—plan the film, announce it, schedule filming, and guilt her into doing it. But, baby, Cattrall don't play. And she doesn't feel bad about it. Last week, she told Piers Morgan, "I don't feel like a victim. I feel like I came out of this on top. This has given me a fantastic platform. Sarah Jessica, she could have been nicer. She could have in some way. I don't know what her issue is—I never have." So if someone is to blame for this franchise being dead in the water, you might wanna look at the star and producer. BTW, Kim may not be down for another "SATC", but she's open to discussions regarding Mannequin 3. Mind you, she opted out of 1991's Mannequin Two: On The Move, which was called "one of the worst follow-ups ever made." If she stars in Mannequin 3, I suspect she'd be a mannequin at Ross Dress for Less.
It's official: Cher is heading to Broadway. No, not the real Cher. Not even the hologram that substitutes for her during large chunks of her "live" shows. No, this is the Broadway musical The Cher Show, which will traverse the pop icon's life with three different actresses portraying different eras. The show, which will utilize the singer's extensive back catalog, will debut out-of-town at Chicago's Oriental Theatre on June 12, 2018, for a five-week tryout. If all goes well, it will then hit the Neil Simon Theatre on Broadway next fall. Even Cher doesn't seem to be able to take this all in, saying, "My life as a musical on Broadway. It seems crazy, exciting, and bizarre. But that's probably how my life seems to most people." And, yes, this show will feature the costumes of Bob Mackie.
For years, Bette Midler has begged Disney to make a Hocus Pocus sequel. But each time she brings it up, nobody at the studio seemed interested. Therefore, it's intriguing that Disney just announced a made-for-TV remake of the flick—which sounds like it will not include Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy or Sarah Jessica Parker. If SJP is so hot to make a sequel, she might wanna see if Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon are interested in this.
When I'm calling Sarah Jessica a witch, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I know what you're all thinking—where is this week's celebrity dick? Look, sometimes you've got a dick—sometimes you don't. And while I've had some this week, none were worth writing home about—and certainly nothing worth posting on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that has standards. I'm sure the drought will be over next week. In the interim, you can write to me at BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Little Richard appears as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
