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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"I find it funny when bullies play the victims. Oops. I spilled my tea."—Demi Lovato's Tweet after Kathy Griffin's mea culpa.

I would like to think I don't have to explain the kerfuffle Kathy Griffin caused last week. But, following in the footsteps of Barbara Walters, I feel compelled to recap quickly for the two readers out of the loop. Griffin had a photo shoot with Tyler Shields. Shields is known for edgy, gritty photos. Kathy's a kooky comic. Put them together, and you're bound to stir up controversy. A few years back, he famously shot Griffin with a pair of scissors poised to cut off her tongue—in other words, trying to censor her ( as if ). For this shoot, the duo decided to target Trump. Kathy says an assistant went out and bought a Trump mask, she tousled a wig and someone else mixed fake blood in the kitchen. Bing, bang, boom—she's holding what appears to be a bloody Trump head. She says this was a visual metaphor of Donald's famous 2015 comments about Megyn Kelly: "You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever." Perhaps a more recent reference would have made this clear. Within moments of the photo being leaked, Kathy was attacked from all sides. Many people saw the photo as a call for physical violence on Trump. Personally, I thought Kathy was auditioning to play Salome.

However, the pressure was on for Griffin to apologize. She released a heartfelt video—you could tell she was sincere since she wasn't wearing any makeup! But it was too late. Trump, his family and supporters were on the attack, and social media was in an uproar—something I know a thing or two about. Within a few hours, Kathy had been flushed from Squatty Potty. I mean, how tragic to be dumped as spokesperson for a device that helps you poop. Shortly thereafter, six venues cancelled upcoming shows ( she has a light schedule this summer, due to a heavy winter ). A few promoters pointed out that they weren't canceling her because of the photo, per se—but because they couldn't afford the extra security.

And then CNN announced it would not re-engage her for its New Year's Eve telecast. The reaction was a study in contrasts. Former CNN star Larry King said, "I wouldn't have fired her. Ted Turner wouldn't have fired her. They're jumping all over her now. I would've kept her." Current CNN star Anderson Cooper said, "For the record, I am appalled by the photo shoot Kathy Griffin took part in. It is clearly disgusting and completely inappropriate." Then Piers Morgan jumped into the fray. After condemning Kathy's press conference, he added, "Trust me, Mr. Cooper chucks everyone under a bus to save his career. Spineless little man." Note that one of these three men still has a career. Showbiz ain't always pretty. Kathy then hired famed attorney Lisa Bloom. My reaction? I'd spend a few extra bucks and get Lisa's mom, Gloria Allred. At the press conference, the only times Kathy broke down were when asked for a reaction to Anderson's tweet. It gets murkier. Rumor has it that Anderson is pushing for best buddy Andy Cohen to co-host with him on New Year's Eve. Stay tuned.

Moving on, there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Within hours of Trump pulling the United States out of the Paris Climate Agreement, former New York City mayor ( and billionaire ) Michael Bloomberg announced that he will pay our country's share of $15 million to the United Nations. Someone's laying groundwork.

It's Gay Pride Month. And in a bit of good news, ABC will broadcast NYC's Pride March live for the first time ever. I believe this is actually solely the local ABC station ( ), but it's a start.

We're pleased to report that Colton Haynes just got engaged to Jeff Leatham. Now, I may be somewhere on the Alzheimer's continuum, but didn't I already report this story? Yes. Jeff proposed to Colton back in March—complete with fireworks and an assist by Cher. ( Go back and read the story on . ) So Colton decided it was time for him to play catch-up. He planted an engagement ring at the bottom of Jeff's glass of vintage Dom and got on his knees, poolside. Once he finished doing whatever it is young men in love do on their knees, he proposed. Oh, those wacky queens!

My beloved Lindsay Wagner just announced that she is in the midst of filming a new family movie with someone from her past—Lee Majors! It sounds like it might be one of those Hallmark Channel movies, but I'll let you know as soon as we have more details.

Our real "Ask Billy" question comes from Jack in Chicago: "I know you must have seen that photo of Darren Criss holding his Speedo. SO HOT! Is there one without the Speedo?"

Once again, I have to explain to everyone what we're talking about. He's prepping to play Andrew Cunanan in Ryan Murphy's series about the Gianni Versace murder. Part of that rigorous preparation process includes working out and tanning—my God, we have the same life, me and Darren Criss! As often happens, he laid out a tad too long and got what we in Boston would call a wicked sunburn! To show the degree of the burn, he stood naked and held the Speedo in front of his naughty bits, so we could see the contrast. Risqué as that photo was, my fans want more. Alas, one will have to make do with the variety of photos from the set you can find on .

When Criss is sizzling hot, it's definitely time to end yet another column. All this talk about Kathy's photo reminded me of another Shields shoot—when he snapped Matt Dallas being buried alive. Why? Who knows. But I'll unearth it on—the site where we uncover all sorts of things. If you have a question, send it to me at and I promise to get back to you before another celebrity is buried alive. So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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