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  NIGHTSPOTS

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2017-04-12

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"I used to think that the best thing about being gay was that you didn't have to have kids. I mean, how many decent parents are there? Really?"—Sir Ian McKellen discusses if he thinks being gay deprived him of any opportunities in life. I guess the answer is no.

One must enjoy moments with the fragile oldsters while one can. Case in point: Barbara Walters. When she retired, she still popped into The View every few weeks, she'd do a special interview for 20/20, and she even sat down with the entire Trump family during the primaries. Since then, it's been radio silence. A reunion of the original cast of The View came with the promise that she'd be there. When she was a no-show, the ol' "She was under the weather" excuse was trotted out. But I hear it's more serious. Rumor has it BW is slowly sinking into the world of Alzheimer's. She still has good days, but it's impossible to plan. She doesn't always watch The View—well, who does? It's been months since she called in with notes. She hasn't been seen in public for more than a year. She even skipped her own birthday party in September. People in the know say she was better off staying home with her devoted Ikadel.

On April 2, the men of the Netherlands ( sounds like the name of a calendar ) publicly held hands in solidarity with a gay couple who had been viciously attacked. Jasper Vernes-Sewratan and Ronnie Sewratan-Vernes were pounced upon by a group of men who saw them walking down the street holding hands days earlier. Ronnie lost four teeth and was assaulted with a pair of bolt cutters. ( Need I tell you where I thought an assault with a pair of bolt cutters was going? Picture the ending to Cavalleria Rusticana. ) Jasper had injuries to his chest, back and legs. Two of Holland's leading politicians started this hand-holding craze by walking down the street. A photo was tweeted and took off like wildfire. On April 5, more than 2,000 men marched down the main street of Amsterdam holding hands! The march was peaceful and seemed to show people that it's no big deal—and nary a Pepsi in sight.

A sponsor was recently banned from running a commercial on RuPaul's Drag Race. Of course, you know it's a show about drag queens on an ostensibly gay network. Strike that—since the show is a hit, it's moved from Logo to VH1 ( as only terrible shows can stay on Logo ). The advertiser in question is a lubricant named Boy Butter. Certainly the name is provocative: Boy Butter—as in butter for a boy. Now, in the strictest sense, boys are under 18. However, if you go on any gay dating app, you'll find that it is possible to be a boy AND a member of AARP.

Anyway, Boy Butter shot a commercial featuring a topless, muscular model churning butter. Apparently, the commercial ran without incident in LA, NYC, San Diego, and throughout Canada. The owner of Boy Butter, Eyal Feldman, explains: "According to Comcast TV in the so-called liberal windy city of Chicago, they did not think viewers could handle the level of gayness in this ad starring sexy ginger, Seth Fornea, who is showing us all how to properly use a butter churn. One would think that in the Midwest the sight of a butter churn would bring back nostalgic feelings of nearby dairy farms, but alas, if a gay man is churning that butter, not so much." Feldman adds, "Take for example the 2015 Carl's Jr. Super Bowl ad starring Charlotte McKinney, which is basically porn in comparison. A sexy busty woman being suggestive and showing a lot of skin is fine but if you just replace the woman with a gay man, it is a much different story." Something tells me it has less to do with the ( alleged ) gay man or the churn and more to do with the product name. Imagine the fracas that would ensue if The Young and the Restless ran a commercial for Girl Gel! Be that as it may, you can see the commercial on BillyMasters.com .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Justin in Hollywood: "What do you know about that hot gay cop who is on The Amazing Race? Do you have any nudes? Is he single?"

Seth Tyler is a 37-year-old police officer from Bellevue, Washington. "I grew up on a small farm in Oregon. I grew up around cows, horses, livestock, throwing hay into the back of a truck," he has said. In other words, he probably knows his way around a butter churn! He's been a policeman for 11 years and is pretty well-known in the area as the public information officer—meaning he's the cop you usually see on the TV news. Of course, he was already comfortable in front of the camera since he previously worked as a fitness model through a Portland agency. He and his firefighting younger brother applied to Amazing Race two years ago. While he didn't make the cut then, he was called in this season to be paired with a stranger. That ended up being Olive Beauregard, who is also a firefighter. Seth is six feet tall and, yes, he has a boyfriend. As to photos of him, we did come across a very cute one of him in lederhosen. But I'm sure you were looking for something more revealing. We've got those, too, on BillyMasters.com .

When we're running photos of hot guys in lederhosen, it's time to end yet another column. Since we ran very long this week, I barely have time to remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's lactose free! If you have a question, send it to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Seth Tyler is hired as the Boy Butter spokesman! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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