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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2017-02-22

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"Every mother I knew went to work pregnant. Black mothers had a baby in the break room and went back to work."—DL Hughley on Beyonce's Grammy performance. I must agree that's a lot of fuss over someone leaning back in a chair!

Did you have a happy Valentine's Day? Colton Haynes did. And he went public with news that he's got a boyfriend. PHEW—and we were all so worried about him! Because I know you're interested, Colton's beau is Jeff Leatham—and if you're anything like me, what you read was "Jeff Leatherman!" Can't you just see Colton lying in a sling with a ball gag in his mouth? Leatham is a florist. His bio ( you didn't expect Haynes to be dating someone without a bio, did you? ) says, "Jeff has been creating a sensation with his floral designs and installations since he first began working with flowers at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills." Now I'm thinking Jeff is the one with the ball gag!

Something that truly was groundbreaking when it first hit the stage in 1982 was Harvey Fierstein's Torch Song Trilogy. The show is poised to return off-Broadway next season in a 35th-anniversary production starring Michael Urie. But it won't be the same ol' show. Fierstein has given director Moises Kaufman "a newly edited text that reconceived the way I want the story told." The plan is to now call the play Torch Song. Perhaps Arnold will now say, "No wire hangers, EVER!"

Plans for a reboot of the '80s sudser Dynasty are progressing. The CW green-lit filming a pilot that, at this point, does not include any of the original cast. The story remains the same: a secretary named Cristal ( note the spelling ) marries her wealthy boss, Blake, and clashes with his bratty daughter, Fallon. To stress diversity, which is de rigueur these days, Cristal is a fiesty Latina, and Jeff Colby ( from a rival family ) is African-American.

I just spent a wonderful evening with Matthew Morrison and Seth Rudetsky in Fort Lauderdale. It took place at the venerable Parker Playhouse, which, on that night, celebrated its 50th anniversary—and I bet many of the people in the audience were there on opening night! The evening, under the aegis of impresario Mark Cortale, was quite fabulous. I have enormous fondness for Matt, having known him since Hairspray—he was and is the ONLY Link Larkin in my book. With his stunning looks, smooth moves and glorious vocals, he's an old-fashioned, all-around entertainer who held the capacity audience in the palm of his hand. As usual, Rudetsky was an incomparable host and kept the show moving effortlessly and expertly. The series continues April 1 with the amazing Andrea Martin. Grab your tix now at ParkerPlayhouse.com .

When Judy Garland died in 1969, she was buried in Ferncliff Mausoleum in Hartsdale, New York. That decision was made by her then-husband Mickey Deans. However, all of the Garland-Minnelli-Luft kids live in Southern California and had no interest in spending eternity in Westchester County. After years of negotiations, Judy was moved from Crypt 31, Unit 9 at Ferncliff to what is now being called the Judy Garland Pavilion at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. This cannot be good news for one big fan from California. A few years ago, he made a pilgrimage to Garland's grave and found out that an adjacent plot was available. He paid $15,500 so he could be buried by his idol. Perhaps he can get a spot near the Pavilion!

Speaking of Garland, there's a new book coming out that contains explosive details about her life. Third husband Sid Luft had not finished his memoirs when he died in 2005. Although their marriage ended in divorce in 1965, Sid is described as "chief conservator of the Garland legacy until his death." The manuscript, Judy and I: My Life with Judy Garland, has been completed and will be released March 1. In it, Sid discusses Judy being molested by Munchkins, her drug and alcohol abuse, her numerous suicide attempts and other juicy tidbits.

In what continues an unprecedented string of weekly nude celebrity videos, this week's "Ask Billy" question comes from Stan in Los Angeles: "Do you have Danny Wood's video? I've seen some of the stills, but the clip has been deleted from everywhere I've checked."

Because I know some of you are wondering, "Who the hell is Danny Wood?," he's a member of NKOTB—otherwise known to those of us over 40 as New Kids on the Block. Last week, a video of him sitting back in a chair and masturbating while chatting online with someone surfaced. Why well-known people do this is a mystery to moi—I would never be so foolhardy. Once the video leaked, Danny got his people to have it squelched by threatening to sue. But I laugh in the face of such threats. I laughed at Colin Farrell, so I'm certainly laughing at Danny Wood—and that's a lot of wood to laugh at, as you'll see on BillyMasters.com .

When Danny is hangin' tough ( to say nothing of simply hung ), it's definitely time to end yet another column. I'm celebrating President's Day down in Florida. While people are praying at Mar-a-Lago, people around me are on their knees for a different reason. You can get in on the fun atBillyMasters.com—the site that answers all your prayers. If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we get a video of Colton's rosebud! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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