Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2018-02-21
About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage



Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

"David, I know you're a sophisticated guy."—Donald Trump to David Muir. Is "sophisticated guy" some kinda archaic code that's coming back? Like "confirmed bachelor?"

The night after his first interview as president with ABC's David Muir, Donald Trump sat down with Sean Hannity on Fox News. Hannity had problems with Muir's interview, saying, "If I had an opportunity to speak with David Muir, I'd say, 'OK, two guys go into your house. They kidnap your child. One guy gets away with your child. You tackle the other guy. That guy knows where your child is. You don't waterboard that guy?'" Does anyone fact-check at Fox News? 'Cause if there's a child in David Muir's house, that sure would be news! As to the first part—about two guys going into Muir's house—well, that's probably a regular occurrence.

Time for a rare mid-column "Ask Billy" question. Last week, we revealed that Tom Daley was involved in some sort of cybersex with a 23-year-old lad from Liverpool while he was on a "break" from Dustin Lance Black—how very Ross and Rachel of them. This news—to say nothing of video of Daley leaked to—prompted quite a number of emails. The most striking one was from Josh out there somewhere in Cyberspace: "While they were supposedly on a break, we were bombarded by images of how happily in love they were—including the cover of Out magazine. How can we believe anything about their relationship now?"

Josh, Josh, Josh—do you know who you can believe? Nobody. Well, nobody except for me. Why? Because everyone has an agenda. Neither Daley nor Black wants to solely be judged on their skills and abilities. They aren't quietly living a blissful, idyllic life. They're marketing their perfect relationship to further their brands and products. That's not to say they aren't happy—they very well could be. But, as with that earlier story, the more one feels the need to prove something, the less inclined I am to believe it.

Logo just completed initial casting for the next season of "Finding Prince Charming"—because the first season was such a success! Having learned from its encounter with a mid-priced hooker, the network raised its game. Here's how they describe the perfect candidate: "The ultimate Gay Gentleman who is Charismatic, Gorgeous, Successful, and genuinely looking for LOVE!" Then the following appeared in bold: "Must appear between the ages of 24 to 30." That not only disqualifies the last "prince", but also half the previous suitors! Proving the network isn't completely averse to paying for it, the casting call promises a "$1,000 finders fee"—or, as Robert Sepulveda calls it, an overnight rate.

Sometimes we look for stories, and sometimes stories find us. I'm writing to you from an altitude of 35,000 feet, and all of a sudden, there it was—a story about a man caught masturbating on a plane! The incident happened on a KLM flight from Dublin to Canada when a passenger appeared to be pleasuring himself under the blanket! An "onlooker" reported the incident: "Hi KLM, just off a flight. The passenger beside me masturbated underneath the blanket after looking at graphic images on his phone. This is disgusting. Didn't say anything as flight full and young kids around. What is the procedure to complain about this? It's disgusting. Surely, this is illegal. I don't know what to say. This is really appalling. Completely disgusting. Felt incredibly uncomfortable feeling his elbow hit mine." The funny thing is that he thought it was an elbow!

And now, an "Ask Billy" question where an "Ask Billy" question ought to be. Larry in San Francisco writes, "Do you think Tom Daley and Lance [Dustin Lance Black] made up this whole sex scandal for publicity? After all, Tom isn't as young as he used to be, he isn't diving so well, and this new diver Chris Mears is pretty hot."

First, Chris Mears is a year OLDER than Tom Daley. They both started diving pretty young, so I don't know how "new" he is. That said, Mears has an Olympic gold medal to Tom's two bronze medals—so let's call that a wash. Unlike Daley, Mears is more cagey about his sexual orientation. But he did turn up in our column a few weeks ago when rumors surfaced that he's dating Bryan Singer—which I suppose gives him the edge. But hands down, he beats Daley because we've seen his ginormous dick! On Jan. 17, an explicit video of Chris masturbating made the rounds. Four days later, Daley confessed to online dalliancea. Things that make you go, "Hmm." You wouldn't be able to get anything else out if your mouth was full of what you'll see on .

When sex acts can be scored on degree of difficulty, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Last week, practically the entire cast of Teen Wolf leaked sex tapes. This week, Olympic divers. What's next? A javelin thrower getting it on with his stick? A shot putter—putting it in unspeakable places? If that happens, I'll definitely speak about it, the site that holds nothing back. If you have a question or comment, send it along to and I promise to get back to you before a Dutch diving fan books a flight on KLM! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


Gay News

Anti-gay pastor Billy Graham dead at 99 2018-02-21 - The Rev. Billy Graham—an author, presidential advisor ( who met every president from Harry Truman to Barack Obama ) and famed evangelist who ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-02-21 - "I've been trying and I just can't get pregnant."—Nate Berkus describes the efforts he and hubby Jeremiah Brent have had in providing a ...

Gay News

DANCE REVIEW Modern Masters 2018-02-14 - Choreography by: Jerome Robbins, George Balanchine, Nicolas Blanc and Myles Thatcher At: Auditorium Theatre of Roosevelt University, 50 E. Congress Pkwy. Tickets: ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-02-14 - "Unless it's changed overnight, the motto of the Olympics, since 1894, has been 'Faster, Higher, Stronger.' It appears the US Olympic Committee would ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-02-07 - "We've only got five hits, so we have to fill in the blanks somehow."—Chynna Phillips, explaining the covers performed during a recent Wilson ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-01-31 - "This is a détente, ladies and gentlemen."—Patti LuPone's first words on the mike when she showed up to rehearse the tribute to Andrew ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-01-24 - "My father sees one color—green. That is all he cares about."—Eric Trump defends his father against cries of racism. It's hard to make ...

Gay News

Billy Masters 2018-01-17 - "And special thanks to Armie's wife, Elizabeth Chambers, who is here tonight, as well, who is as crucial to this process as anyone. ...

Gay News

Joffrey's 'Modern Masters' Feb. 7-18 2018-01-17 - The Joffrey Ballet presents Modern Masters—a mixed repertory program showcasing works by contemporary icons along with top emerging choreographers—Feb. 7-18 at the Auditorium ...

Gay News

Joffrey Ballet to offer Modern Masters of dance premieres Feb. 7 through 18 2018-01-11 - ( January 11—CHICAGO, IL ) — For its annual winter engagement, The Joffrey Ballet presents Modern Masters, a mixed repertory program showcasing works ...


Copyright © 2018 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.








About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group produces Windy City Queercast, & publishes Windy City Times,
The Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community,
Nightspots, Out! Resource Guide, and Identity.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.