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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2017-01-18

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"I'm going to give America a happy ending."—The newest Bachelor, Nick Viall, discusses his hopes for love the fourth time around. I'm gonna hold him to that.

I'm disappointed in Jennifer Holliday. For those of you who may be out of the loop, Donald Trump is having a devil of a time booking performers for the inauguration. An inquiry went out to the Dreamgirls star. While she was considering it, people on the internet immediately went on the attack. "They were calling me coon, calling me house n——-, calling me Aunt Jemima, calling me all kinds of names and asking me to kill myself," she said. I personally saw dozens of vile posts, specifically from members of the LGBT community. People were saying things like she'll never work in our community again, that the gays made her career and they will destroy it. One memorable post said, "Remember what we did to Donna Summer." Ominous indeed.

I assume people who would perform at this inauguration fall into two categories: 1 ) people who support and voted for Trump, and 2 ) people who need the money and/or exposure. Holliday went out of her way to say she did not fall into either category. She publicly stated that she voted for Hillary. She said she wanted to sing for America. She wanted to help heal the divide. Her fee would be donated to LGBT charities. Her inspiration was Marian Anderson, the Black opera singer who gave a concert in 1939 at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial to more than 75,000 on the National Mall after being denied the opportunity to sing in an auditorium because of her race. Anderson didn't buckle down under hate—she went forward. But despite Holliday's best intentions, she was met with vitriolic hate from all sides and was essentially bullied to not perform. She apologized specifically to the LGBT community for even considering to perform "for America," and ended her address with this: "Thank you for your posted comments, both the good supportive ones as well as the ugly hurtful ones." When we went low, she went high.

Thomas Roberts' show at MSNBC has come to an end. The show was taken off the air with little fanfare on Dec. 16. The show was a replacement for Ronan Farrow's short-lived endeavor. Interestingly enough, Farrow filled in on the Today show over the holidays, so who knows what's ahead for Roberts. In the meantime, the athletic anchor shows off his exercise regime in Muscle & Fitness magazine—a periodical I don't believe ever featured the physiques of Tom Brokaw or Dan Rather. See the sizzling centerfold on BillyMasters.com .

A law was just passed in France making it illegal for parents to spank their children. Now, I'm not advocating spanking in general—but sometimes a kid needs a good whack. Apparently the French Parliament disagrees with me and has issued a nationwide ban on all forms of "corporal punishment." Instead of hitting, parents should try "positive reinforcement." Yeah, and we should also give a trophy to everyone for just showing up!

Do you know who Nico Tortorella is? He's a kinda hot actor who appears on Younger and has come out as sexually fluid—so I guess we now have to add an F to the already cumbersome LGBTQIA; he also has a podcast called "The Love Bomb." A recent guest was someone who knows a thing or two about sexual fluids—gay-porn actor Colby Keller. Colby shared his coming-out story with Nico. As a kid, Keller had a box of gay porn under his bathroom sink. Let's stop right there—did Colby grow up having his own bathroom—or was he stupid enough to hide gay porn in the family bathroom? Anyway, one day his parents discovered the box. Colby barricaded himself in his bedroom—shades of "Les Miz." Through the door, his father expressed support for his son and said "everything he could in the language that he possessed to try and comfort me and make it okay for me." Then it was time for his mother. She said, "I wish I had a gun so I could kill you and then blow my own brains out all over this sofa." Colby says his mom had very strong Christian beliefs. After that incident, Keller stopped calling her "mother." Perhaps she would have answered to the term "defendant."

Gay-porn star Tyce Jax ( legal name Jared Louis Valazquez ) was recently arrested for beating, choking and biting his boyfriend. What caused the fight? Tyce caught his boyfriend watching—wait for it—gay porn! I'm speechless. This is the FIFTH domestic violence charge for Jax/Valazquez. As Judge Judy would say, "He's a real winner!"

You know how they say that when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they ever slept with? Last week, I went to bed with one number and by the time I woke up, poof, it went up by 500!

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Henry in Florida. "I was binge-watching Girls and saw this hot scruffy actor, Evan Jonigkeit. He did a sex scene, but you couldn't see anything. I think you wrote about him before."

Yes, I wrote about Jonigkeit several times in 2012 when he was touring the country with Kathleen Turner in Matthew Lombardo's play High. At the time, I was quite taken with his range of acting. I wasn't the only one. When I interviewed Turner ( who played a nun ), all she wanted to do was talk about him. She said, "I think Evan's one of the most exciting young actors around. I equate him with Jude Law, who I worked with on Broadway in Indiscretions. Evan is quite extraordinary. He's got it." He also appeared nude in the play and was quite hot. And then, as if a gift from the Lord, video of his nude scene appeared in my inbox. You may not have seen all of him on Girls, but you can on BillyMasters.com .

When heaven is a place on Earth, it's definitely time to end yet another column. And don't forget to check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that features a wide assortment of heavenly bodies. If you've got a question for me on any topic, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Trump appoints Jennifer Holliday as secretary of pancakes! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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