"If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job. And I'm good. I'm not a douche, and I'm not a tool. I take my time. I have a lot of eye contact. And I do swallow."—Madonna. In a related story, Madonna also pledged to blow people who voted for Trump.
I find it staggering that technology can make enormous strides forward while, at the same time, art can take just as many steps backward. In the golden age of movie musicals ( the '40s, '50s and '60s ), songs were lip-synched—in many cases, to a different person's voice! And yet, the end result was often not only convincing but award-winning. This ability seems to be lost—much like the mystery of the pyramids or Pia Zadora's career. Fox, the network that revolutionized live musicals on TV with Grease: Live!, all but killed the genre with a misguided and pointless remake of The Rocky Horror Show. While there is enough blame to go around, the sound designers and producers should be charged with crimes against humanity at The Hague. Nobody seems to care about matching the ambient sound in a recording studio to that on a soundstage. Likewise, the performers don't realize that a great studio recording is far different than one that is realistic for acting and movement.
But the biggest mistake was the casting of Laverne Cox. Strike that—the biggest mistake was Laverne Cox accepting the role. With this one decision, she undid whatever good she's done for the transgender movement. She's playing a role confusingly referred to in the revised script as both "she" and "he." ( Usually, "he" is used. ) And, when the character sings "I'm not much of a man," we're seeing these ginormous titties bursting out. After Rocky has sex with Frank-N-Furter, why is he so intrigued by Janet? In the original, it's because he's never touched breasts. Maybe in this case, it's because her breasts were so small ... and less tanned! Cox never seemed to have a clear grasp on who this character was. And, what was that accent? It was like a cross between Tim Curry and Dame Joan Collins. In fact, it was as if Dame Joan were doing a Curry impersonation! For someone who has fought hard to be accepted as a woman, Cox gave a performance that seemed like an audition for RuPaul's Drag Race. So much for progress. BTW, I am not alone in my opinion—the bulk of the reviews were middle-of-the-road to abysmal. As to ratings, half the number of people who tuned in for Grease: Live even bothered to check this out.
While Fox was setting the trans community back decades, Fox News moved forward by revealing the biggest non-secret since Anderson Cooper came out. Yes, Shepard Smith finally acknowledged he is gay. Shocking! Next thing you know, Mrs. Muir will make a stunning revelation! In an interview with The Huffington Post, Shep talked about his sex life solely to defend his former boss, Roger Ailes. He wanted to counter reports that Ailes made him stay in the closet. As for any other personal details, Smith's keeping his mouth shut.
It would be interesting to hear Shep's take on Jim Walker, another Fox News anchor. Well, I should say former anchor. He's now making news because of his new occupation—gay-porn actor! His porn name is Dallas Steele, but he doesn't seem to mind blurring the lines between the two. In a recent interview, he reveals this transition happened during a difficult time in his life. His partner died and this left him with huge financial issues. At the same time, he was let go by Fox News after they told him he was "unlikeable." Since then, he's bent over backward—and forward—to prove them wrong! How did he prepare for his new profession? First thing he did was get butt implants. As I always say, play to your strengths! In the past year and a half, he's taken the industry by storm. You can see some of his work on BillyMasters.com .
With all these new TV shows about time travel, I'm beginning to feel like I'm catapulting through time. In 1995, Glenn Close was starring in Sunset Blvd on Broadway. At the same time, jettisoned star Patti LuPone was down the street starring in Patti LuPone on Broadway. These worlds will be colliding once again. Earlier this year, Close returned to the role of Norma Desmond in a semi-staged production with the English National Opera in London. She had so much fun revisiting the role, she will return to Broadway for a limited 20-week run at the Belasco Theatre starting in January.
Meanwhile, Patti LuPone and Christine Ebersole were the toast of Chicago this summer trying out the new musical War Paint—about the lives of Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden. The show was clever, provocative, had good music for the two ladies, and needed just a few tweaks. Hopefully, those tweaks have been made because the show will be docking at Broadway's Nederlander Theatre on March 7. Sounds like 2017 could be a rematch of Patti vs. Glenn at the Tonys. Perhaps Patti will come out on top this time. You can judge for yourself, since we have a video of the finale of War Paint exclusively on BillyMasters.com .
Dorothy Gale made much of the phrase "There's no place like home" in The Wizard of Oz. Alas, Dorothy's iconic ruby slippers need our help. The sparkly shoes are housed in the Smithsonian and are, apparently, falling apart. They are turning to Kickstarter to try and raise $300K to preserve the pumps.
There's been lots of talk about Garrett Clayton playing gay porn pup Brent Corrigan. But another former Disney star is making a buzz with his new project. Ross Lynch, who starred in Austin & Ally and Teen Beach Movie, has been cast as the gay cannibal serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. That's quite a role for a Disney star to chew on!
When Disney stars can make money where their mouth is, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Before ending, several of you have asked me to post Clayton's King Cobra sex scenes ( and his ass shot ). Like Garrett, I'm happy to oblige, and you will find them on www.BillyMasters.com, the site where everyone ends up. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Madonna ends up in a Disney film! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
