"You don't need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn't make you a taco."Justin Bieber shares a bit of philosophy with the world. I think this may be from the Gospel According To Cheech. Or was it Chong?
Graham Norton recently bemoaned his single status in the UK press: "I would like to go out with someone my own age, but that seems impossible. Gay men my age don't want to date someone their age." Those gay men interested in younger guys apparently include Graham himself. The 52-year-old comedian's most recent relationship was a six-month stint with music exec Andrew Smith, who is 36. Perhaps the age gap was just a fluke. In 2013, Graham ended a two-year relationship with Canadian software designer Trevor Patterson. At the time of their breakup, Graham was 50 and Trevor was 30. Hmmm.
Normally, I wouldn't tackle a nude celebrity so early in the column, but how can I avoid Justin's beaver? The first shocker is that Bieber actually has a penis. Not only that, but it's kinda substantialI mean, I wouldn't be bragging about it, but I also wouldn't be ashamed of it. Bieber's somewhat-estranged dad posted this on Twitter: "@justinbieber what do you feed that thing. #proud daddy ;- )" If Justin's actually looking for a proud daddy, I think Graham Norton is available.
Justin's apparently not thrilled about his penis going public. His legal team is trying to squelch the pics and has started sending out cease-and-desist letters. This is exactly what you DON'T do if there is an alleged photo of you floating around. I taught this lesson to a notable television host when his ponderous appendage went public ( courtesy of moi ). If you ask for the photos to be taken down, you are admitting they are legit and just feeding the flameas it were. For the time being, I'll continue to bring you every inch of Bieber on BillyMasters.com .
Many of my fans are quite smitten with Dancing with the Stars competitor Alek Skarlatos, one of three military men who thwarted a terrorist attack on a train in Paris. While we don't know much about the 22-year-old's sex life, one of his comrades from that train attack is in the news. Spencer Stone was out with four friends at Badlands, a popular gay nightclub in Sacramento. ( It should be noted that this happened on a Wednesday night, when the club has quite a large straight crowd. ) After leaving the club, his group was accosted by some other people on the street. While defending a female friend, Stone was reportedly stabbed multiple times by two men who fled in a Toyota Camry. While authorities are trying to piece together what happened, doctors worked diligently on Stone, who is expected to make a complete recovery.
Meredith Vieira and her panel of guests were discussing Ashley Judd's revelation that she'd been sexually harassed by a studio exec. Lance Bass said, "This also happens to men, too. I mean, it's a two-way street. It has happened to me. When I was 16, 17 years old, when we started, there was someone that we worked with that was inappropriately touching us. And I was even aware then, at 16, that this guy was a pedophile and he was touching me oddly. But I didn't feel victimized at the time because I was very aware of it." When asked if he ever spoke up, Bass said, "No, I mean, with the guys, we would talk about it. We'd kinda joke about it, but it's not a joking thing. But as a kid, I dunno, it was just odd. But I'm glad that we were aware of it and we didn't feel victimized at the time." Is there anyone who doesn't think he's talking about Lou Pearlman? He might want to compare notes with Nick Carter.
Although I had a busy schedule, I managed to attend some of the Gay Days festivities in Anaheim. En route to the VIP cocktail party, I ran into the fabulous Frank DeCaro and his equally fabulous spouse, Jim Colucci. Once at the swanky soiree, I immediately found myself surrounded by Alec Mapa, Ben Baur, Derek Hartley, Michael Urie, Jai Rodriguez, Emerson Collins, Blake McIver, Ronnie Kroell and oodles of others. Most of us headed over to the Kingdom dance party, where the capacity crowd danced to the beat of the DJ extraordinaire, Kimberly S. For me, the highlight of the evening was Well-Strung's performance. These guys never disappointand their new CD, POPssical, is now available on their website Well-Strung.com .
A gay escort in England has been sentenced to 32 months in jail after blackmailing a client. The hooker, John Walker, had been paid $3K to have sex and take drugs with a 49-year-old businessman last February. The next day, Walker texted the guy a photo of them in the hotel room, adding, "Ring me or I will call your wife." Walker demanded roughly $4,500, which the victim wired into his account. Apparently that wasn't enough, because Walker then sent the wife a video of her husband wearing women's lingerie. The businessman came clean to his wife and sued Walker. In ruling against Walker, the judge said, "The complainant had been generous to you and that made you greedy. You embarked on a scheme to obtain money from him."
Lastly, we hear that Valerie Harper is not doing well. Ever since she collapsed backstage at the Ogunquit Playhouse in August, Harper has not been seen in public. In fact, the only word from her has been a post on social media refuting reports that she was in a coma. No one has had any direct contact with the beloved actress, leading people to believe that the post was not written by Harper at all, but by her husband, manager Tony Cacciotti. Our sources indicate that Harper's medical condition is grave. We're keeping her in our thoughts.
When I'm simultaneously too young and too old for Graham Norton, it's time to end yet another column. For the latest gossip, check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that is old enough to know better. If you've got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Bieber shows Graham his chalupa! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.