"Representing the Dairy State, come smell our dairy-air. I'm Rosalie Smith, Miss Wisconsin."—You don't often get a potential Miss America working blue in the first five minutes of the pageant. But Miss Wisconsin managed to slip a derriére joke right past the censors. Shockingly, she didn't make the top 15!
What would you be willing to die for? Anything? Many people would die for their child, but being barren as the day is long, I can't relate. I'm always fascinated by people who are voluntarily willing to die for their country, but that's also not me. So, let's lower the stakes. What would you be willing to go to jail for? Honestly, nothing springs to mind. And yet, there's Kim Davis, willing to go to jail rather than issue marriage certificates to gay couples. Forget our thoughts on the subject, there is something admirable there. I hasten to add, she's probably nutty as a fruitcake—a term, I'm sure, she would take offense to. I also don't understand her having the job her mother held for 38 years. And she's grooming her son, who is a junior clerk in the office. Since when did the position of county clerk become dynastic? Who do they think they are? The Kennedys? The Bushes? And here's a tidbit that has gotten lost in all the hubbub: She's a Democrat. But while I'm willing to applaud her willingness to pay the price for her beliefs, she should not—as an elected official—be allowed to inflict those beliefs on others.
Let's clear up some misinformation out there regarding Million Dollar Listing: New York. It was reported in the magazine In Touch that Fredrik Eklund ( better known to you all as the Ingrid Bergman of gay porn, Tag Eriksson ) is being dumped from the show. An unnamed "source" said, "Not only did he want to be paid $1 million per season, but he wanted to be treated like a king. He demanded hair, makeup and wardrobe for every shoot." His agent has stated that there is no truth to the story and that Eklund will be back next season. I doubt Freddie's too worried either way—the bulk of Eklund's alleged $30 million net worth comes from actual real-estate deals and not from this show. But he has confirmed some drama in his life—his real-estate office in Norway declared bankruptcy. When asked of the situation, Fredrik said, "The market in Oslo is too small." Truer words were never spoken.
Tori Spelling has gone public about a harrowing incident—she was seriously burned while dining at Benihana. As I'm sure you know, the main feature of the Japanese restaurant is that you sit around a grill where they prepare the food in a high-flying and theatrical manner. According to Spelling, she slipped and fell and received "deep second- and third-degree burn injuries requiring hospitalization and surgery." Now, I know what you're all thinking—did she fall on the grill? As a matter of fact, she did! Presumably, it wasn't face first—melted silicone can really ruin a good dinner. Because of this incident, Tori claims that lost wages and "earning capacity." If anyone took a video of this, please come forward. Not only could it help Tori's case, but I bet it could win some cash on America's Funniest Home Videos!
Did you know that gay people stayed away from Magic Mike XXL in droves? As a friend of mine always says, when people don't want to see a show, nothing will keep them away. In this case, the reasons are somewhat murky, especially since the film was strongly marketed to the gay community. What I heard from most people was that they were so turned off by the first film, they wouldn't even bother with the sequel. But, will they stay away from Magic Mike: Live? We all know that a Broadway musical based on the film has been in the planning stages even before this sequel. But Channing just announced that there's going to be a Las Vegas revue based on the film. Will he appear in the show? "I'll never say never. ... I wouldn't mind going out there and doing it one more time," he said. "Or maybe twice. But, you know, every time I've put on a thong and am getting ready to walk onstage again, I'm like, 'Why do I want to do this?' It's very uncomfortable to be in a thong in front of a thousand people." Don't I know it!
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Jasper in Detroit: "I thought Gio Benitez was dating David Muir. But for the past few months, all he does is post photos of him and some hot guy named Tommy. What's going on?"
The whispers were that Muir was quite enamored with Gio and bent over backwards ( and forwards ) to help him up the network ladder. But those same people claim that Gio was less than thrilled to live in the shadows and have a clandestine relationship with a particularly paranoid poseur. Enter Tommy DiDario—model, actor and reality-show wannabe.
Oh, perhaps you saw him on the short-lived CW show High Society. While he was a peripheral character ( at best ), he's most notable for breaking up with his boyfriend, Paul Johnson Calderon. "I go online and you're making out with a porn star? You introduced me to your mom, Paul—your fucking mom!" And you people think these shows are scripted! You don't get prose like that on Downton Abbey. Back to Gio and Tommy. Apparently, they met around the first of the year and they've been inseparable ever since. They're often traveling—either for personal reasons or when Gio is on assignment. And they constantly post photos together on social media—usually in various forms of undress. I'll post some of the more titillating snaps on BillyMasters.com .
When I'm somehow connecting gay porn with Ingrid Bergman, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Oh, in case you were wondering, the porn star that Calderon cheated with was the gigantic Ben Andrews. 'Cause that's what we do on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that never skimps on size. If you've got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before ABC greenlights a remake of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
