"I don't care if Bruce Jenner is transitioning from one gender to another, one political party to another, one religion to another. What I do care about is that Jenner has been a passive participant in what can best be described as a cultural crime that has gone on for years."—Sam Rubin, an L.A.-based entertainment reporter, shares his views on the Diane Sawyer interview with Bruce Jenner. I'm not sure I agree with everything, but I believe Sam Rubin just called Jenner a bottom.
No matter how much you lose, you can always lose more. This past week we got to see Noah Galloway, model and veteran of the armed forces, compete on Dancing with the Stars in nothing more than a pair of sweat pants. Well ..one leg of a sweat pant, and the other a sweat short. Surely no one wanted us to lose sight of the fact that, in addition to having an incredible physique, Noah is also missing both an arm and a leg. I can't tell you how many fans have written in saying they'd give an arm and a leg to sleep with him! During rehearsals, Noah's partner smashed him in the face and knocked out a tooth. Talk about adding insult to injury!
Remember all those stories about the pizzeria that wouldn't cater a gay wedding and then made more than $800K in three days via a GoFundMe campaign? And remember how I told you about a campaign started by someone else hoping to raise money for the HRC bringing in less than $1K in over a week? Well, people are not taking that defeat sitting down. A new campaign has been started—#Pizza4Equality—that would benefit Cyndi Lauper's True Colors Fund to help LGBTQ homeless youth. In the past week, the campaign has raised more than $140K. While they're still short of their goal ( to match the pizza amount ), it's a good start.
In light of Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act, former Scrubs co-stars Zach Braff and Donald Faison have offered to help gay couples. The twosome posted a photo embracing on a motorboat with the caption, "If you really and truly want pizza for your gay wedding in Indiana ... we will make it for you." It's almost worth getting married in Indiana. But first, of course, I'd need a spouse—preferably one that likes pepperoni!
We've always known Barry Manilow liked pepperoni. And now it's public. News leaked via the National Enquirer that the songbird married his longtime manager, Garry Kief, in a private ceremony last year with Suzanne Somers as "best man." While the couple hasn't made a statement, People magazine confirmed the story, adding that it was a surprise for the 20-30 guests who thought they were just coming over for lunch. Barry's former wife, Susan Deixler, said, "I wish him well. I'm happy for him. I'm glad that he's found love and happiness." Well, color me shocked—who knew Barry was ever married? To a woman?!
On April 24, we'll all know what Bruce Jenner is really doing, since that's when his interview with Diane Sawyer will air. In promos that discuss his "journey," we see Bruce from the back—perhaps to not show that he's wearing blush and lipstick, like "In Touch" had on a recent cover, with the headline "Sex-Change Surgery Gone Wrong." Not to be outdone, the National Enquirer has Jenner on its cover: "Bruce's Secret Boob Job! He's Now a 44C". I hope Bruce will be very happy—whichever way he's transitioning.
Another Kardashian has also made some news this week. Rob has gotten an offer from Playgirl. They want to feature him in a nude photo shoot, but only if he loses weight. That makes sense—if they shoot him as he is now, it would have to be a pull-out spread. The magazine is willing to pay Rob $500 for every pound he loses—as if he needs $50K that badly! They end their offer by saying, "Playgirl wants to know: Is Rob big where it really counts?" Well, he seems to be big in the same places his sisters are.
Long before the Kardashians were wearing dresses and gaining weight, there was Boy George. Well, look out Kardashians—George is gunning for you. The singer has teamed with the producers of the various Kardashian series to develop a reality show about his upcoming move from London to Los Angeles. In his announcement, George said, "If Marge Simpson met Dolly Parton and went dancing with Ziggy Stardust, it wouldn't come close to what you'll see. Why now—why not? Why me—who else?" I hope he can answer all those questions.
Whenever I see the name Gwyneth Paltrow, I invariably roll my eyes. Maybe it's me, but I think she's nutty as a fruitcake. This week, Paltrow announced that she'll spend a week eating on a food-stamp budget to more fully understand the plight of the unfortunate. Her heart might be in the right place, but really? A week? After that, she gets to go back to being Gwyneth Paltrow. It's almost like me deciding to only sleep with people who are in my league. What does that prove? That defeats the whole point of being Billy Masters!
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Teddy in Denver: "I just heard that Chad Allen is retiring from showbiz. Is he still in showbiz? What has he been doing? And what is he going to do?"
In many ways, Chad Allen is the fairy godfather of this column. Without going through the archives ( at BillyMasters.com ), it seems to me he was one of the first actors we identified as gay. He was certainly one of the first celebrity penises we ever ran. In fact, when I first moved to Los Angeles, I believe he was bottoming across the hall from my apartment. Shortly thereafter, he was having sex with a newbie on a soap ( who is still on the soap ).
Needless to say, Allen has shown great range and versatility over the years ( his last acting gig was being killed on "Dexter" ). And now, having turned 40 ( and looking better than ever ), he's making a change. For the past few years, he's been attending classes at Santa Monica College. He's pursuing a doctorate in clinical psychology and is hoping to teach and work in private practice. Toward that end, his website will be coming down in June. But he'll live forever on BillyMasters.com .
When Chad Allen is back in the news, it's definitely time to end yet another column. With all the diversity in this week's column, I barely have room to remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that always delivers deep dish! If you've got a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Bruce Jenner appears on the cover of Juggs! For those Albanians out there, Krishti u ngjall. For the Greeks, Christos anesti. And for everyone else, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
