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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2015-02-04

This article shared 5138 times since Wed Feb 4, 2015
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"I don't think Ewan is as proud of his penis as most men who are as well-hung would—or should—or could be. I think that's the greatest demonstration of his innate humility: that he doesn't wear it like a badge of honor."—Colin Farrell talks about the size of Ewan McGregor's penis, which presumably he saw when they were making Cassandra's Dream in 2007. Of course, Colin knows a lot about large penises, and you can see both of them on BillyMasters.com .

I have survived Snowmageddon. Yes, Boston was hit with a blizzard. ( Note to self: Never visit the parents in the winter. ) With two feet of snow, the city came to a screeching halt ... or so I thought. In the middle of this mÃŞlée, a friend posted on Facebook: "If you're stir crazy, Papyrus is open for business. Stop by and entertain me." Because in a blizzard, so many people have stationery emergencies.

Meanwhile in NYC, Don Lemon was tooling around in what CNN described as its Blizzardmobile. Maneuvering this behemoth may explain an unfortunate turn of phrase. After reporting that the expected accumulation changed from three feet to under two, Lemon added, "I'm hoping for 12 inches." Truer words were never spoken.

Gwyneth Paltrow recently raised eyebrows when she revealed that she steam-cleaned her vagina. ( Second note to self: Check to see if my steamer has a vagina attachment. ) This led to headlines on more than a few news websites proclaiming, "Three out of three doctors agree: Gwyneth Paltrow is wrong about steaming your vagina." This comes as no surprise to me. Years ago, I had my car engine steam-cleaned. Do you know what happened? While driving to see The Bangles in Las Vegas, a hose came loose, the car overheated,and the engine seized. As bad as that was, I'm glad it happened to my car and not to Susanna Hoffs!

In an interview with Graham Norton, Harvey Weinstein talked about the hoops he jumped through to secure the rights to Good Will Hunting. In the first incredible statement, he said, "Everyone in Hollywood wanted Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and the film." Perhaps I was in a fog at the time, but I don't remember people caring one way or the other about Matt or Ben. Damon had done precious little work prior to this project ... although I do remember Affleck in Mallrats. Weinstein went on to reveal that the duo met with oodles of producers to determine the right partner. When Harv came in, he had one criticism about the script. "About page 60, the two leads ( both straight men ) have a sex scene. What the hell is that?" Turns out, the boys slipped that in just to see if potential producing partners even read the script. And that is how a project written by two guys who had been uncredited extras in Field of Dreams got their project produced by Miramax.

Steve Grand knows a thing or two about courting interest in a project. As earlier reported, the openly gay singer ( and underwear model ) raised money to make his full-length CD with a campaign that turned out to be the third-most-funded music project in Kickstarter history. The CD, All-American Boy, will be released in March.

Becoming a successful recording artist doesn't shelter you from criticism, as Sam Smith found out last week. The openly gay crooner found himself in a good news/bad news situation. Good news—Howard Stern likes him and highly praised both his voice and song "I'm Not the Only One." Bad news—Howard was less complimentary about Smith's appearance: "He's an ugly motherfucker. I like that he's chubby and gay. That's why I love him. He's one of those guys I feel like. He's really good but I feel like that will be his only hit song. ... That's how good he is. He's fat and gay and little girls worship him. That's when you know you have a good song and a good voice."

Whitney Houston's handsome daughter, Bobbi Kristina, was found unresponsive in a bathtub almost three years to the day when her mom died under similar circumstances. BK was revived by paramedics and is in a medically induced coma as we go to press. I find part of this story terribly sad. But out of respect for the living, I won't say which part.

File this under "What Took Ya So Long?." Melissa Rivers has filed a malpractice suit against the clinic where her mother, Joan Rivers, died. She says that the doctors were "reckless, grossly negligent and wanton"—and let me pause for a moment to order some fried wontons. Lawyers for vocal doctor to the stars, Gwen Korovin, deny the allegations—especially the ones that state she left Joan alone when she went into cardiac arrest. "What happened was she never left the room. Not only did she never leave the room, she was the last doctor to leave the room after Miss Rivers was taken away by EMS in an ambulance." Missy's lawyers say, "Not only is there medical mismanagement, but you have a situation where doctors are taking photos of a patient when she needed assistance. They didn't recognize the fact that she wasn't getting sufficient oxygen." Stay tuned....

Let's end on a happy note. Remember the hot Broadway boyfriends who were on Survivor last season? Well, they're engaged. Josh Canfield ( the blond ) and Reed Kelly ( the bottom ) were doing a show at the très chic club 54 Below in NYC when Josh popped the question. "Reed had no idea that I had written him a song and that I was going to propose," Canfield said. "I also surprised him with his mom flying in for the night." Thank God Reed said yes!!! You can watch a video of the proposal on BillyMasters.com .

With January coming to an end, I feel obligated to remind you that my birthday is right around the corner. Yes, Feb. 13—something that should already be programmed in all of your devices. So shop early, shop often, or shop online at www.BillyMasters.com—the site that keeps on giving. Just drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Don Lemon gets plowed! Until next time, remember one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 5138 times since Wed Feb 4, 2015
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