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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2014-12-03

This article shared 3307 times since Wed Dec 3, 2014
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"Basically, gay sex, especially for the first time, is really fucking painful."—Daniel Radcliffe discusses playing poet Allen Ginsberg in Kill Your Darlings. Of course, it's not that painful to simulate gay sex on film—unless you're a Method actor.

Joan Rivers' favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. Each year, she would begin the day by delivering food for God's Love We Deliver ( joined in more recent years by her grandson, Cooper ). She'd return home in time to welcome dozens of friends and colleagues to her home for a sumptuous spread. This year, daughter Melissa continued the tradition. She and Cooper did the morning food deliveries and then had Joan's regular posse to the Upper East Side penthouse one last time for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner—this year, giving thanks that Joan had touched all of their lives. Classy, classy, classy.

I spent Thanksgiving with the family in Boston and then zipped to NYC. One of the most interesting things I've seen in a long time is the production of Camelot currently playing at the Two River Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey. My interest was piqued when two of my friends were cast—the incredibly sexy Oliver Thornton ( from the original UK production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert ) and Hunter Ryan Herdlicka ( from the Broadway production of A Little Night Music ) as Arthur and Mordred, respectively. It was a splendid evening of theater—once one got past the fact that Thornton is barely old enough to be Herdlicka's big brother.

On the other hand, Thornton's youthfulness made the opening scene with Guenevere all the more touching and set up the story in a way that most productions miss. Of course, being dashing and having a real British accent gave him a gravitas that metaphorically raised him above the others. Herdlicka's natural charm and mellifluous voice made him an impish and mischievous Mordred. However, what made this production unique was that rather than the usual heavy-laden sets and cast of dozens, this version was stripped down to its basics and played by a talented troupe of eight—nary a weak link in the bunch. Definitely worth seeing if you can get a ticket before it closes Dec. 14.

The next show brings me to the first of my annual Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions. I am sure that many of you will find yourself in NYC at some point over the holidays. I cannot recommend anything more thrilling than seeing the legendary Lypsinka ... except for seeing the legendary Lypsinka in THREE shows. Yes, running in repertoire is Lypsinka! The Box Set ( her greatest-hits show ), The Passion of the Crawford ( where she seamlessly portrays Joan Crawford being interviewed ), and John Epperson: Show Trash ( where Lyppie's creator regales with bon mots from his travails ). This is the first time all three shows have run in repertoire, aptly called Lypsinka! The Trilogy.

Seeing some of the pieces that really put her on the map was a special treat—This Is My Life with the box of cereal, the drunken 12 Days of Christmas, the phone calls ... oh, it was a joy to behold. The Crawford show is a study in nuances, which is riveting. As always, Lypsinka's attention to detail is staggering—and hysterical. If Faye Dunaway closed the coffin on how Crawford would be remembered, Lypsinka nails it good and tight! Special mention must be paid to Scott Wittman ( half of the team that wrote Hairspray and oodles of others ), who plays the interviewer with eerie aplomb. To call Lypsinka unique is an understatement—she stands head and shoulders above all others. You can get information and tickets at www.Lypsinka.com . If you aren't in NYC but still want to be part of the fun, a plethora of souvenirs can be found at Zazzle.com/lypsinka.

My second gift suggestion doesn't require you to do any traveling. I'm sure you've heard about kegels, an exercise women do to strengthen their pelvic floor. But there's not been an exercise for your penis—until now. Filling that void is the Private Gym, the pelvic muscle exercise system for men. Their package ( such as it is ) includes a book, DVD and a specially designed weight that you attach to the end of your erect penis. Using your penile muscle, you raise and lower this weight—basically you're flexing your penis. It's hard ... as it should be! Believe it or not, this system is actually the first FDA-registered men's kegel regimen. I'm sure you're asking yourself, why do I have to exercise my penis? What if I told you that using this product will help you maintain an erection, reduce premature ejaculation and even give you a better orgasm? There's a video on their website featuring gay-porn stars Johnny Hazzard and Austin Wilde demonstrating the versatility of this device. Take it from Billy Masters: The Private Gym is the perfect gift for that special someone—or for yourself. Check it out at PrivateGym.com .

Perhaps the people at the Private Gym should try to get their product stocked in 7-11. It might be a good fit. After all, what does one make of an employee of the convenience store whiling away the hours by pleasuring himself, videotaping it, and circulating the video? You can check him out on BillyMasters.com .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Thom in Denver: "I recently saw some hot photos of that guy Ashley from O-Town. He looks amazing. What is he doing these days ... other than working out?"

For those of you who can't place him, Ashley Parker Angel was a member of the pop group O-Town, featured on the reality show Making the Band ( usually filmed naked in the shower—on order of Lou Pearlman, no doubt ). When O-Town reunited earlier this year, Ash decided he didn't want to go backward ... he wanted to go forward. OK, so his solo album didn't really go anywhere. But he had quite a bit of success in the Broadway production of Hairspray. Since then, he's continued to court interest with a number of provocative photos, letting us know that even if he wasn't working, he was definitely working out. And it all paid off—Ashley has just joined the national touring company of Wicked, playing Fiyero. So perhaps you'll soon see him in a city near you. Until then, you can see a whole different side of him without leaving your home. You can simply head over to BillyMasters.com .

When I'm getting a hankering for a 7-11 hot dog and a Big Gulp, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. Ah, the holidays are here. Time for making merry, being gay and bright—things we do all year round at www.BillyMasters.com . If you've got a question, feel free to send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Ashley Parker Angel becomes the Private Gym spokesman. So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 3307 times since Wed Dec 3, 2014
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