"I've got my hands on their butts probably more than their wives."—Tom Brady describes the unique relationship he has with his teammates on the New England Patriots. Well, what's a little pigskin between friends...
It's nice to know that even in my mid-40s, I can still have new experiences. But here's one I didn't see coming. Last week, someone admitted to me that I featured prominently in a sex dream. Don't get me wrong; I'm happy to be having sex—in real life, or in a dream. However, I must confess that I never thought that ANYONE would have a sex dream about me. What makes it even more unlikely is that the person who had the dream was a woman!
Jennifer Lawrence recently opened up to Vanity Fair about the nude photos of her that have gone public once her iCloud account was compromised. She said, "Just because I'm a public figure, just because I'm an actress, does not mean that I asked for this. It does not mean that it comes with the territory. It's my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting. It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation."
Now, I must confess, I have not looked at the nude photos of Miss Lawrence—I barely want to see her when she's clothed! But I am loathe to call this a sex crime—particularly after reporting how Stephen Collins had a 10-year-old girl touch his ( semi-erect ) penis. If you ask me, lumping in nude photos of yourself with someone who has been physically violated is not only insulting but also ludicrous. I think it bears repeating that unlike some celebs who are photographed by paparazzi in compromising positions, Lawrence took these photos herself.
Yes, she didn't choose for them to go wide ( pardon the pun ) but she did, presumably, send them to at least one person. The moment that happens, they are no longer "your photos."
Bundled in with the Jennifer Lawrence scandal is news that nude photos also exist of Nick Hogan. Admittedly, the market for these pics is much more limited, but it hasn't stopped some outlets from referring to Nick as "the first male celebrity to be hacked for nude photos." I take issue with the word celebrity, but let's gloss over that. If you want to see the photos, I'll post them on BillyMasters.com .
On the other hand, some people leak nude photos ( and videos ) for their own purposes. Take David Girton, who appeared on Big Brother last year. He was the hot surfer dude with long blond hair and a rockin' bod. For some unknown reason, he's been sending people nude photos of himself. But he didn't stop there—no siree. He's also leaked some videos where he's seen pleasuring himself. And I must say, they are certainly pleasurable. Because I think it's important to share pleasure, you can check 'em out on our website.
In a recently released French autobiography, actor Gerard Depardieu reveals that he was a child prostitute and had sex with older men for money. "I've known since I was very young that I please homosexuals," says the actor who currently tips the scales at around 400 pounds and a couple of years ago peed on the carpet of a plane. Yeah, that's our type.
Gerard claims to have started in the world's oldest profession when he was just 10 years old. ( "But I looked 15," he is quick to add. ) He was still in the game a decade later, but he was bending more than just the rules: "At 20, the thug in me was alive and kicking. I would rip some of them off. I would beat up some bloke and leave with all his money." Sacre bleu! And you wonder why people hate the French.
When I'm proving to be both multilingual and cuni-lingual, it's definitely time to end yet another column. We may not have had room for an "Ask Billy" question, but I think we made up for it with all the male nudity. But let me promise you this—you will not find a nude photo of Gerard Depardieu on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that has standards! Whether I print them or not, I'm always happy to answer your questions. So feel free to send them along to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before someone leaks nude photos of an actual male celebrity! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
